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Glad hes been found.
Such a shame you have been put through hell.
Glad hes been found.
Such a shame you have been put through hell.
Glad hes been found.
Such a shame you have been put through hell.
Sorry to hear that penny..toi meant times that has happened to me too.
But let’s pray he turns up safe and sound.
Pambler your doing amazing.
The 12 steps tells u just take each day at a time.
Dont think about tommorow tackle it when it comes.
Dont think about the past sorrows focus on how u can change this around.
U cant change the past but you can change the future.
Your mum will be so proud.
Just keep in there and seriously get to some AA or NA meetings.
My son mainly goes to AA meetings as there are more of them but the principles are exactly the same and y will be surrounded by lots of support by people who are in ypur position and have been there and u will find your not alone and can share your feelings without judgment.
You can crack this ypu really can.
I havnt sponsored anyone but my son found a sponsor straight away at meeting gs.
Somone he cld call as soon as he got a craving.
Just go to all your local meetings gs everyday ..the co.munity is so supportive and my son has lots of peoples um ers he can call at anytime.
It’s great you are making that step.
Pambler it’s good you recognise you have a problem as that is a start.
I dont know your personal situation but if u are homeless then there are charity’s that give free rehab.
Also my son couldnt have been more anti the 12 steps bit now swears by AA and NA but after a relapse now knows he has to 12 steps all the time to stay clean.
He now has his AA friends and people there that support him so maybe it’s worth a try? Also if you ring round a few places they may be able to signpost you to some free rehab places?
The only way I stumbled on the rehab place for my son was frantically calling people….it took a while and is a shame it wasnt so easy to find
It’s good u are looking for help. Just hang in there..the fact u acknowledge u have a problem and want to change is great.
Wow lindyloo that’s such great news about your son.
A year is a massive achievement.
I really hope its making a difference to you and your life.
Despite my moans about my son having 3 mnths of sobriety has def taken the edge off the stress.
It gives us all hope when they can achieve these things.
It really is a awful situation for everyone involved.
I think for me just trying to find some peace in it all has been hard. The hardest bit is how my younger sons friendships have been affected.
I am in half term a time when my youngest shld be having lots of play dates but we have been ostracized by the mums and as a result my son is being left out.
I made a mistake in a..moment of weakness in confiding ro a mum who I thought was a friend but how wrong i was…the judgy mums at the school gates are something else.
Its heart breaking that his older brothers issues has impacted him so much even though we kicked our oldest out and my young son has no idea about his addiction as we protected him from it all.
As for my eldest hes been clean for 3 mnths and has moved this week from the rehab I got him into and now in a dry house.
Obviously I am pleased hes clean at present but he still has no respect for us and I’m sick of how he speaks to me ..blocks my calls is rude and confrontational unless he needs help with .money or something.
I’m not going to lie I dont like my son. How hes affected us all and how he still treats us even when clean is so appalling that I cant bear to be in his company as I feel bullied by him.
I know he resents me for kicking him out but I dont have any regrets.
I protected the rest of us and also feel it pushed him to rock bottom.
He doesnt appreciate the days of hunting around to get him that rehab..he just sees it as me his mum abandoning him.
I hate saying this but maybe others feel the same but with or without drugs my son is selfish.
Hes only once ever bought me a present or card same as his stepdad and everything in life is all about him.
I dont know maybe that’s just my son and the rest of ypurs are lovely personality without the drugs.
Everyone in here imo deserves to put themselves first.
We can assist our addicts in other ways like giving them information to access help but spend that mnths rent they havnt paid on yourself or your other kids or grandchildren where it is money better spent.
A guy who gave a talk I went to said and who ran a rehab said take away all u do to enable them that’s the best you can do.
I know that alot of their issues is rooted in mental health and I’ve even given my son access to help but he wldnt engage..ypu can lead a horse…..
I know that I am fortunat that at present my son is clean and I know when he wasnt how I wld have given anything to get to that place but now.im here I still feel the weight of another relapse hanging over me and feel so low about how I’ve had to live the last 8 yrs. The consequences are far reaching ..my mental health my husband and now even my younger sons.
I shldnt have had to been through and seen the things I have. I’m a good law abiding person and my life was never like this.
Anyway sorry for putting this all down on this forum sometimes it helps to put your feelings in writing.
Hang on in there ladies and do what you can to live a happy life.
Sorry I have been so quiet.
Weegem such a horrid situation for you.
I wld say do anything you can to stop enabling him.
But it’s easier said than done.
So hard .
Sorry I have been so quiet.
Weegem such a horrid situation for you.
I wld say do anything you can to stop enabling him.
But it’s easier said than done.
So hard .
February marie and jem I’m so sorry to read this.
Februariemarie I hope that he sees some clarity while he detoxes it’s so frightening when you see them like that.
It’s also so frustrating that they just get kicked out of hospital with no support.
Jem cld your son be using ketamine?or valium My son wld slur his words and appear drunk on those. I can empathise with when things kick off at home the stress it puts us under as a family is just too much.
Im Glad u have friends who can let you stay there and are understanding.
All i can do is hope and pray that they just reach a point where they really want help and theres a service out there can offer the right support.
But in the meantime make sure to do as much as u can to look after yourselves.
Sorry for delay relying I’ve had problems with my password.
Thanks jem my son is still at rehab so entering his 4th week now.
He seems to bo doing well I havnt had much contact he has no credit on his phone and has made the decision not to get any as Its helping him switching off from outside. We can still call him though but he rarely picks up.
Its nice to know he is safe and on the right tracks.
I’m.not going to lie it’s been good to not to have to worry and stress so much over him.
Joanie I hope u got to a hairdresser and got some pampering even if an hour in the hairdressers chair cld let u relax for a bit.
Listening to u guys also saying about funded rehab.. it’s taken me a few years to find this one and that was by fluke when I called a homeless charity as I was trying g to find him accommodation after the council put him in a crack den.
This place is in london and is funded by benefit. He can stay in this part for 3 months and after that can go to a move on house but that then becomes u affordable as its £600 a week..I dont know how they can charge that to the the residents as part of the rehab rules is that you cant work….and u also to have to be homeless in the first place to get in there?
The rules for all these places are very odd . I’ve got his name down for a move on type of house with another charity which wont be part of the rehab but wld be supported and covered by housing benefits whilst he gets a job.
I have thought wldnt it be great to have one website we cld all go to which had all the organisations and rehab places listed in one place as I shldbt have had to chase around for the last 5 years and just accidentally stumble on this place. That said maybe it’s all about timing and maybe my son still had to get to this dark place and us along with him to actually consider getting off the drink and drugs who knows.
I think jem when u say what cld you have done differently over the last 6 years we all have those thoughts but ultimately we have to comfort ourselves with the fact any decisions we have made have come out of love and we will never know if they have been right or not but our sons are lucky that we are on this site because we love them..and all we are doing is making what we think is the right decision at the time… let’s not rack ourselves with guilt..I’m guilty of that too but the voice of reason tells me I didnt make my son an addict and I’ve done all I can to support him.
Even his sponsor said to me that he himself as a recovering addict wld have been a addict whatever had gone on in his lifeand I agree. Some people go through the worst traumas and yet not just survive but make a huge success in life ..others can have an easy life but lack resilience when the tiniest thing doesnt go their way and resort to harming g themself if not by drugs or something else…its mental health.
I know alot of women who if they had been through what we have wld have had breakdowns..I mean I know I’ve struggled and still do with PTSD from it and anxiety but I’m still here …sometimes with my long covid it knocks me back but I’m still here
All we can do ladies is look after ourselves as much as we possibly can and if we have days where getting out of bed seems impossible and we cant face another day…remind yourself you can do it..have that day in bed if it helps or go to the dr but we can do it. I send out all my love to you all.
Everyone on this site deserves a medal x
I can relate to all that it really is so draining especially when they are still in the home.
My so is in week 2 of rehab so.im gradually starting to relax a bit more but it does take a while to not be in a constant state of stress and I’m having chest pain as in my head I’m still thinking of worse case scenarios.
My son also 23..welljust shy..going to university definitely was what threw him into the .minefield of drink and drugs and having issues like adhd etc definitely is a factor.
So.much needs to he done.
My son cant cope with life Bill’s getting and keeping a job.
Last time I spoke to hi. Was to tell him he had a chesty fine for jumping train fare. He also owes the rehab money and hes only been there 2 weeks.. we are beyond stressed with helping his money situation. We just cant do it anymore.
Keep strong people.x
Sorry to read that emma j..I e had same issues with my son just when ypu think the mental health services etc are going to do something it all comes crashing down.
So my son is finally in a rehab centre funded by his benefits.
I’m hoping he sticks at it and sorts himself out but i cant relax as like most in this site know …there always seems to be so.ething around d the corner to make thi gs come crashing down.
I have really relapsed this weekend too with making covid and have barely been able to do anything.. the stress and emotional roller coaster has caught up with me…I feel.burnt out…..not the type of millionaire prince harry burn out either!!
This addiction is exhausting for us.. and it’s also so upsetting when my son blames all around d him for his problems ..the selfishness of it totally gets to me.
Anyway keep strong everyone.