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Thanks ladys for your comments without wanting anyone else to be going through this, there is comfort in your comments and empathy.
My son has returned after a weekend of going missing constant drink and drug abuse being arrested mugged and now trying crack and heroin!!
He is walking round the house in a agitated mood complaining at what’s in the fridge as if he even is entitled to any of the free bed and board we give him!
I feel alot of hate to.my son today it’s my day off work..and I actually enjoyed going for my smear just now as it meant I was away from the house.!!
No apology from him nothing acting like it’s just a normal weekend!!!
Coughing and feeling g sorry for himself..I dont feel well…oh dear poor love maybe next weekend dont drink litres of alcohol followed by the ketamine valium and heroin chasers!!!
Thanks ladys for your comments without wanting anyone else to be going through this, there is comfort in your comments and empathy.
My son has returned after a weekend of going missing constant drink and drug abuse being arrested mugged and now trying crack and heroin!!
He is walking round the house in a agitated mood complaining at what’s in the fridge as if he even is entitled to any of the free bed and board we give him!
I feel alot of hate to.my son today it’s my day off work..and I actually enjoyed going for my smear just now as it meant I was away from the house.!!
No apology from him nothing acting like it’s just a normal weekend!!!
Coughing and feeling g sorry for himself..I dont feel well…oh dear poor love maybe next weekend dont drink litres of alcohol followed by the ketamine valium and heroin chasers!!!
Thanks ladies for your responses.
I am devastated to be back in this horrid world ..so my son is missing so I am worried sick..I k ow deep down that he will turn up like a dirty penny after putting g us through hell but i still cant help bit worry. My husband is on the brink of moving out and i dont blame him.
I hate my son and love him in equal measure.
I have done nothing to deserve this way of life …none of us have.
I wldnt wish this on anyone…I just want happiness and peace.
My love and support to all of u xxx
Hi guys how is everyone?
We have had a nightmare week with my son he has gone full throttle back on drink and drugs.
He went put last night telling us he was going out with his sponsor but actually went out with his druggie ex girlfriend we thought he has turned a corner yesterday but alas not
He hasnt returned home which is a bad sign so my husband his stepdad who has been amazing like me has had enough and doesnt want to live like this.
Weve had to chuck him out before but this time I’m starting to feel more and more that I dont care about him anymore..the blatent lies and way we are treated ypu just wldnt treat your enemies like it.
Just why shld I love like this. Its ruining my marriage and home life. I’m sick of his addiction.
I know someone posted on here about free rehab places but cant find the thread can anyone point me in the right direction?
Debc interestingly I looked today at AA meetings for me to go to…just thought it may help me understand things a bit more.
My son told me today I’m always negative and he hates being round negativity….what a joke I’m only.like this coz of him!
He is negativity personified!!
He is on his way home and I’m out tonight to see friends so I wont have to see what state hes in when he gets home.
Hes started to do that thing alcoholics do to kid themselves they dont drink much by buying lots of small bottles…so pathetic…sorry but every part of his addiction winds me up. It’s the self pity … but he has so much ..and yet some people have real struggles with disability and disease etc. I just want to shake some sense I to him but sadly we all know that doesnt work.
Anyway rant over. Off to write a gratitude list!!
Let’s stay strong and hope all have peaceful evenings.x
Debc interestingly I looked today at AA meetings for me to go to…just thought it may help me understand things a bit more.
My son told me today I’m always negative and he hates being round negativity….what a joke I’m only.like this coz of him!
He is negativity personified!!
He is on his way home and I’m out tonight to see friends so I wont have to see what state hes in when he gets home.
Hes started to do that thing alcoholics do to kid themselves they dont drink much by buying lots of small bottles…so pathetic…sorry but every part of his addiction winds me up. It’s the self pity … but he has so much ..and yet some people have real struggles with disability and disease etc. I just want to shake some sense I to him but sadly we all know that doesnt work.
Anyway rant over. Off to write a gratitude list!!
Let’s stay strong and hope all have peaceful evenings.x
February …yes exactly why on earth do we put up with it.
Everyone suffers because of them.
I guess I find it heard to remind myself it’s a disease…when the abuse the leaching of money and all the chaos is ruining our own lives.
I was doing my ironing today I even do that with this scowl that doesnt leave my face as I’m so stressed ..I honestly think there is no.muscle memory for smiling!!
Cant remember when I properly smiled.
I need to start doing a gratitude list like they do at AA so I can start to feel more positive.
I do find it so hard though as i mourn the person i was pre having covid and a addict son..where has that fun woman gone!
Sorry for .moaning i guess I’m just struggling with it all I’ve been fortunate to have a 7 mnth break and now ive been pushed into that dark hole again.
Lindyloo I think that the stress of getting a job and nerves of that plus the dealer triggered it but I still am convinced he is bipolar.
Hes just been really vile to me and right now I feel alot of hate towards him…sorry but I just want to kick him out.
I’m just not sure if I have any love left for that boy sometimes.
It’s just not fair on the rest of the family.
Lindyloo I think that the stress of getting a job and nerves if that 0kus the dealer triggered it ut I still am convinced he is bipolar.
Hes just been really vile to me and right now I feel alot of hate towards him…sorry but I just want to kick him out.
I’m just not sure if I have any love left for that boy sometimes.
It’s just not fair on the rest of the family.
Enjoy the peace and quiet.
Make sure u totally relax and switch off while u have the respite
Not sure what to write just on here as in struggling with my sons relapse. Cleared his room of emptys just now after a full on day at work. Waiting what he will be like when he gets home.
Cant relax and my long covid fatigue is worse than ever as a result.
Hugs to you all fellow sufferers of addiction
Feeling positive seeing duchess’s of cambridge and ant mcpartlin launching campaign against addiction and help with mental health…maybe the system will start to change and we can get put loved ones the support they need!
My son didnt come home last night but is on his way home now..dreading what he will be like.!
I guess as mums we all think what we can do to help but ultimately its nothing..only they can get to that point.
My son came home drunk..not sure if he had taken anything else I wasnt going to stay up and ask.
I went to bed and my husband stayed up to let him In.
I’ve realised how much I’d relaxed over the last 7 mnths as now I’m back to being a coiled spring a nervous wreck of where this relapse is going.
I’ve stupidly let him back home and so now have nowhere he can go with housing benefit like I’d managed to get him before.
It just defies belief that hed got on track and now is prepared to throw it away.
I’m praying he wakes this morning to realise he has been stupid and wants to get back on track.
I’m ashamed to say I got in a physical autication with him as I was desperate to get the wine off him.
It didn’t end well i dont know how much he drank of it but i came to bed as he locked himself in the study with it when i got up in the night there was an empty bottle.
I’m sad as he was doing so well.
I would happily say that he shld leave that barbers and work somewhere else now but I havnt got to the bottom of the reason.
I am only surmizing it’s the dealer issue. Either that or he had a difficult customer and he just cant cope with difficult situations.
This is his first job hes had for a very long while and so it cld be the pressure of it and being new to the trade.
I just hate living with him as he was so aggressive and I cant relax.
I’m sure all this isnt helping my long covid as I feel so tired all the time.
One positive thing is that he has got up for work and so far I can hear him getting ready. Although he cld change his mind and just get back into bed.
I’m staying in my room until he has left as I dont want any shouting first thing and his younger brother is now up.
I really hope he goes in.
Ivy how is your son? Is he out of intensive care?
So.ladies I’ve just got in from a family birthday meal and found my son here in a foul mood he is 4 days in from starting hos new job.
Yesterday he said one of the dealers he used regularly came into his work place as he is now a barber.
Not sure if there is a connection but today he has gone mental at us and grabbed some wine and started necking it and saying he is going to go back on drink and drugs says it’s all my fault but obviously I know it’s not but just dont know what to make of this.. he has been clean for 7 mnths and last few weeks he has been hideous to live with.
When does this nightmare end?