Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
Kate thinking of you. What words can I say. The hardest thing any mum can do but I pray that you can give him the best send off.
Sending all of my love to you for today. Xxx
Big hugs kate. Thinking of you.xx
Kate adfam have a bereavement section.
They could offer you some valuable support for you. Someone u can speak to and help you through this.
Kate I think you are going to have grief counselling.
Everything will be so raw but when u are ready u must do that.
I wish I cld do and say something to help your pain.
Xxx
Yes kate dont punish yourself.
You were on this forum because u are a loving mum who was giving your all to help him.
May your son rest in peace.xxx
Oh kate. What words can I say. I cant imagine what your feeling.
But know as a mum you did everything u cld. I hope u are surrounded by lots of people to take care of you. Your son knew u loved him thats why he wld always turn to you he knew you were there.
I am so so sorry. We are here to support you.xxxxx
yep i get that too, even when hes not under the influence!!
Ive been told by several people and most importantly a ex alcoholic who now runs a rehab centre he said every time we do something to help them in their situation such as lending/giving money help with their jobs etc we are enabling them.
i think stopping helping someone you love is so hard but i do think kicking my son out and everything we have been through has maybe got him to the point when he was beaten up he realised his life had got so low he needed to change.
The irony is that he is very resentful to me though as he sees being kicked out of home as a massive betrayal and says i dont love him him unconditionally….well i hope one day when he matures more and his brain has hopefully rewired that he will see why we took the drastic action we did.
gosh you really have had a tough time and i dont know where to start.
I cant begin to imagine what its like to have the aded complication of grandchildren involved.
I feel i say this to evryone but only because but has helped me when things were at there worst, but have you accessed any counselling for yourself? through either a local drug and alcohol service which is how i got mine…had i think 10 sessions free and then also through any of the national services such as drugfam or somewhere.
There are also support groups mainly on zoom now which can help enormously with supporting and offering advice with what you are going through.
sadly at this point its about damage limitation to your own health as ive learnt that they will only seek help when they are ready.
other than that just try to focus on yourself and your grandchildren dont allow your daughters addiction to completley ruin your life….so easy to say and even with my son 90 days clean. live with the fear of a relapse hanging over me.
yesterday for the first time in ages i went into london to meet freinds along the river as i came out of waterloo there was a homeless female begging, she looked ravaged by drugs and life on the streets.
before i had an addict in the family i used to be shocked that someone like that could have been abandoned by there family and yet now i know that theres a good chance there is a heartbroken mother and family who have done there utmost.
Lets hope the government do start investing in this problem more.
take care everyone.
Oh ivy big hugs, what more can I say.
Yes just take each day at a time and try as much as u can to put yourself first xx
Omg kate…I had the same my son went into hospital some of his friends their parents and myself called an ambulance to get him sectioned he went to hospital and I prayed like mad that this wld be the point we got help…at about 1am my son calls and asks to be picked up!
I said I wanted to speak to the discharge nurse who then passed me to the psychiatric nurse who had assessed him and she actually laughed down the phone..told me the same drugs not mental health despite numerous suicide attempts and hospital trips for self harm…..
It beggars belief what we go through and that whoever’s door ypu knock on there is no help.
Omg kate…I had the same my son went into hospital some of his friends their parents and myself called an ambulance to get him sectioned he went to hospital and I prayed like mad that this wld be the point we got help…at about 1am my son calls and asks to be picked up!
I said I wanted to speak to the discharge nurse who then passed me to the psychiatric nurse who had assessed him and she actually laughed down the phone..told me the same drugs not mental health despite numerous suicide attempts and hospital trips for self harm…..
It beggars belief what we go through and that whoever’s door ypu knock on there is no help.
kate 1
sounds so familiar!
lets be honest we all need to switch off from them, despite all ive done on a weekly basis i’m either being told to f off or asked for money.
Like someone else has said i’m all cried out.
I want to live my best life not my worst….
He will continue to make u ill if u dont step back and allow him to face the consequences.
Watching my son kicked put and then ruin his accommodation and end up on the steeets was the hardest thing ever but i do know if I’d allowed him to stay hed still be doing it now.
Have a week with the phone blocked or at least set yourself a boundary that you will only speak to him once in the week. Really switch off.
He will continue to make u ill if u dont step back and allow him to face the consequences.
Watching my son kicked put and then ruin his accommodation and end up on the steeets was the hardest thing ever but i do know if I’d allowed him to stay hed still be doing it now.
Have a week with the phone blocked or at least set yourself a boundary that you will only speak to him once in the week. Really switch off.