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The biggest thing here is the manipulation…..ive read and re read other parents say exactly the same thing. My son has said it in the past… Please please please, start thinking about your own well being… I dont give my son a penny and havent for around 6 months…..Yesterday i took him 2 bags of shopping round..(hes staying with his ex)….Drugs are the evilest thing in this world, they change peoples characters, make them lie, cheat, steal…..come on concerned mum, you can get through this..DONT give up…dont give in, and dont be part of his lying….massive hugs xxxxx
My son drove a car without insurance, was put on tag, but has breached it…court was adjourned till the end of the month……really cant wait for some peace, im tired and have nothing left….. Im so glad you are thinking about the kids first…thank god!!! Addicts in my opinion are part time parents, ive seen it with my son…..thats a cop out, and ive told him so…Thank god he has the rest of us in his life…however my son is now back with his ex for the time being, and TRYING to make an effort..I just hope he doesnt let that little boy down more than he has already, and as his mother Im ashamed of him….but I have come to realise that drugs dont take into account the users children!!
Hi Tibbie…..I feel for you….Im in your mums shoes, so hearing your side is interesting. Im so glad you have identified certain things. I can understand your frustration, however have you ever thought both your mother and daughter may be frightened??? As mothers we hear it time and time again that changes are being made, and then see the devastation when things go wrong. I think you need to be patient, and I applaud you and want to hug you for being brave enough to conquer those drug demons,,WELL DONE! Take things slowly, it may be that you will have to prove yourself 100 times over…the question is are you willing to do that???? I hope you all can be reconciled, but Rome wasnt built in a day….Take time , and work at rebuilding your relationships with both. xx PS, be grateful too that your mother took your daughter in..who knows what could have happened had that not been the case……xxxx
Sad and tired…….I can feel the sorrow,anger, and tiredness in your post…..Ask yourself one question…WHY???? If its his debt let him deal with it….you are still enabling him by trying to sort his debt out……I know its hard, but you can get tough, we are all here to support you..dont forget that xxxxx
It really hurts me to hear of all the pain we are going through….its never ending,..one drama after the other….spoke to my son this afternoon, and he apologised….urgh heard it all before..I told him I loved him, and would be there for him, when he makes the decision to get help…..until then, my sole aim is to make sure my grandson is ok…..I also said that when he goes to prison, that should be his time to wake u and smell the coffee…..atleast we both know where we stand!!!!
My sons father has never bothered…Only turns up when things are on an even keel….My partner and I have done everything for him, and he constantly throws it back in our faces….I can barely look at my son without feeling anger..he knows full well where I stand……now all the family and extended family are on the same page, and dont give him money, he depends on his money alone….when he is here I watch him like a hawk, never leave my bag unattended, and check if he goes upstairs by making an excuse to go up for something…for your own peace leave him to it…Im not saying give up on him, but be there IF & WHEN he needs you….hope this helps xxxxx
She is very lucky to have you, but the sheer fact she has opened to you speaks volumns….. Be patient with her and perhaps tell her in a calm enviornment how it impacts on your relationship…..Ask her what her expectations are from your relationship…and be honest…if her smoking weed makes you feel uncomfortable and worried for her, tell her…only thing you must remember is, if she doesnt feel it is a problem, then she will continue to do it…..hope this has helped……take care, we are all here if you need to talk x
Welcome to the group concerned mum….Many of us are going through the same thing. Its hard, because as mothers and fathers we want to be there for our kids, make sure they are ok… The difference is our sons are addicts!!! By giving in, all we do is prolong the misery, create a cycle that only YOU can break.. Dont get yourself into debt, stop giving him money….He wont go hungry, because if he is that hungry, he will come to you…. Perhaps set ground rules, and what your expectations are…OK, in a perfect world he would be off the drugs and alcohol, but we dont live in a perfect world. I have told my son he can be at ours as long as there is no alcohol, drugs coming in my house, and he isnt wasted when he arrives…Saturday he got mashed, turned up, and we told him to leave..After a mouth full of abuse he went….now its hard, but it encroaches on all of us, and that isnt my life, or my partners, or my little ones…ITS HIS LIFE!!!! I will be there with open arms when he decides he really wants the help, until then, IM DONE!!!!!! The embarrassment, disgust, helpless feelings will always be there, but how we manage them can make a difference…Ive only been in this group for a short time, but I get stronger every time I communicate with another wonderful parent going through the same….Stay strong all your parents out there…….sending hugs xxx
Morning hun…..Don’t beat yourself up , we are all only human…..I think you know he constantly manipulates you, after all you are mum….I certainly wouldnt give him money for petrol……start as you mean to go on…..you may have had a lapse but get back on it, and dont enable him….Im going through it now, and even when he calls me all the names under the sun, I still dont give in….dont get me wrong, it hurts like hell, but Ive got it in my head now that every time I help him, ALL i AM DOING IS ENABLING HIM TO DO DRUGS…..Massive hugs hunni, take a deep breath, and carry on….much luv xxxx
I am the mother hunni…….hahahaa The mother of my grandson still loves my son and wants to save him I think….but she has told him, she wont have any more of the hell….thankfully he doesn’t go to ehr when he is on his rubbish, only when he is coming down..which has happened twice…..my son will be going to prison the end of the month , and I really hope that that will be the push he needs….
Hey fi, give your partner some breathing space, sounds like you both need it at the moment.concentrate on your well being..I know its hard, but please try…..thinking of you xxxx
Hey hunni…hows your weekend been??? Hope your alright…sending love, light and positivity straight back to you…hugs, Susie xxx
Thankyou, and thankyou for giving us a voice and being able to talk together and gain support from others on here !