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Hey Hunni….you also have a duty of care to your other children. I totally understand where you are coming from. I can totally empathise with you, and I imagine your son chose to stay with his dad because he could get away with the drinking and drugs. Stick to your guns, but leave the door ajar…im slightly worried that SS have not considered the effects on your other kids if he did return to your home, to me that’s shocking! Sorry but is your son 17 now?
Hey Hunni, oh it’s so hard to detach from their lying…we so want to believe in them. I can only tell you what we have done as a family…like you I set my son up in a flat, brought furniture, helped with bills, only for it to all be thrown in my face…for over 4 years we lived with thr stealing, lying, being treated like sh@@! After many hours soul searching, I made the decision to stop. I told all my family to do the same, and call police if he became abusive…then into,d him while he was drinking and taking drugs I didn’t want to see him, and he could only come to see us “clean”, and not under the influence…he hated it, and we didn’t talk for a few weeks….that was almost a year ago…after giving him the option to choose he decided he needed to get clean…now it’s been no where near easy,many yes I have had to call the police…but he knows I’m there for him whilst he works to gaining a better life…he has a job, is back in his sons life and getting help from many different agencies…mental health team, drugs counsellor, doctor and fsmily….
Hey hanna, sorry it’s taken me a while to reply….you truly are a brave girl…have you thought about getting support for yourself and mum? Even your other siblings? There are many groups out there who don’t ask questions, but are there to listen, help you through things etc…..hope this helps …hugs xxx
I’ve had the verbal abuse from my son, and it cuts like a knife..the last time he was verbally abusive I asked him to leave and had to call the police to remove him…it was the best thing I did….none of us deserve it, and I took a stand and sent a message to him, I would not tolerate it…harsh I know, even heart breaking, but It just couldn’t go on..he had a choice to get sober or leave me out of his sad life…..he made the choice, to get help…it’s been 9 hard months and it’s one step at a time…and I’m not going to sugar coat it…..it’s bloomin hard….but I stand side by side with him on his road to recovery…..because he needs all the support he can get just to get through the day….
Hey Hunni….your sister talks like that, because that is her personal feelings on your mom…it must have been hard for all 3 of you, and I’m pretty sure your mom feels a sadness at letting you all down. Our relationships with our parents differ from sibling to sibling….it’s up to your sister to sort their relstionship out with your mum, and you should try and respect her feelings….it’s great mum is helping out and you have found some peace with her…..perhaps give her time hun xxxxx
Oh Marie , hugs to you….it’s hard trying to save an addict, and almost always never happens, cause the addict has to want it …what a remarkable woman you are! Sometimes letting go and helping yourself is the best thing you can do, to help you cope with everything…and that might mean letting mum n dad get on with it…..you have a family and they have to be your priority Hunni xxxx I’m a mother of a Addicted son..it took me a while to realise that letting go was the best thing I could do for my son….thankfully he is in recovery and he now has my support 100%…,only an addict can set the ball rolling in recovering! Take care sweety, and perhaps find a group for you, where you can talk with others xxxxxx
Oh Hunni. The terrible thing is you can’t save her…you can support her, but until she asks for the help the madness just goes on and on…she is very lucky that you have been there…please think about your own well being, because those who live around addicts can become depressed, stressed etc….can her family help? Take care Hunni x
Addiction of any kind is horrible.it robs the person of a normal life….unfortunately until he’s ready then nothing anyone says will mean anything….my son has a son, and was a selfish tw@, thankfully he hit his rock bottom and in recovery…it’s hard hun, but like I said when it starts effecting your little boy, you may need to re think what is best for the both of you…take care Hunni xxxx
Oh Hunni, I’m so sorry that things look hard…you are doing right, unfortunately mum is enabling him to continue his addiction….don’t blame her, I did it too, until I faced things head on, researched, gained knowledge….and I said the same as your mum…it was everyone’s fault but his….I hate to say this, but sometimes you have to let your kids go before you get them back…..I applaud you for trying to help him, but only he can do it..,I hope your mom sees this too…hugs xxx
Hey MT, so sorry for your loss…if ever you need to talk there are afew regulars who can listen…take care x
Hi, Debz….your son sounds like mine did…and fifi is bang on…don’t enable him…that means being firm, and laying ground rules if he’s st home…I’m sure like the rest of us, he is draining you and having an I pact on the fsmily….my son has been in recovery since end of June last year…he has had several relapses and today I took him for extra counselling (an appointment he made because he knew he was struggling)….it may take him a while , but once you stop enabling ,you stop adding to the drug taking…sometimes they have to hit rock bottom before they get help….I constsntly told my son I would be there when he was ready, but to not bother me until that day….bloody heart breaking, and then he called saying he had got a job and started counselling and alcohol n drug help..if they want to stop, then they will with support…..to my friend Fiona, hope all is well, and your son is doing ok….hugs to all xxx
Sometimes you just have to walk away until people ask for help..concentrate on your immediate family,because your kids are your priority…take care xxx
Oh god, feel for you..please, never think it’s your fault because it isn’t….and how sad your little boy had to go school after this…look after you and your son..your partner is a grown up and CHOOSES to treat you this way….weed is a horrible drug and those who use it regularly can become paranoid, lethargic,and argumentative…..you don’t have to put up with it Hunni….stay safe and concentrate on you and your son…perhaps in a quieter moment, ask I’d he needs help or support….take care x
Oh Hunni, it’s so hard and you sound like are suffering so much…your mum doesn’t meAn to ignore your crries of help….it must be hard..however you are very important and need some support. Have mum and dad sought support for themselves..dealing with an addict is hard, lonely and frustrating and frightening….I agree with the poster who replied…can you go to grandparents for a while? Speak to your doctor, find a local support group and perhaps when. MUm and dad are together tell them …,don’t deal with this alone Hunni..hugs to you and take care xxx