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I’ve read and re read your story, and really want to wrap my arms around you. Hunni, the sooner you realise you can’t save him, the sooner you will know that leaving him and being safe was the right decision. Domestic violence is all part of drug use…no they don’t mean it, but the addiction is bigger! And for anyone who thinks domestic violence is a punch or kick, it’s not..what your partner was doing was verbal abuse and that can be far worse than the physical kind..your child deserves to be safe, and not have to deal with this…so do you! If he really wants to change he will….if he wants his fsmily he will fight to stay clean every day….until then you are in the best place..please be aware that addicts are fabulous liars. Please find a support group and go..speak to others. It was my salvation..my son had and still has an addiction to alcohol and varying drugs..he is in recovery, but it’s still as hard…he has lied, stolen, gone to prison …all because of his addictions.ive seen the horrible side of it, been verbally abused, stolen off, and all by my son. Hunni, it’s time to think of you and your child….please please please take care of yourself….hugs xxxx
Had a call today ans spent over an hour on the phone…my poor son is finding it so hard…ready to give up. Addiction tests those in recovery to their limits….the fear in his voice, the admission of feeling weak and depressed and unable to cope…his honesty telling me he had had some cocaine, to stop the feelings….so we talked about the whys, and what would be HIS next step…to morrow he will go to see his counsellor, and try and get in to see his doctor..I have so much admiration for him…his battle is far from over, and as his mum, will walk beside him to show him I am on his side and believe he can do it….if anyone out there has any words of wisdom now would be a good time to tell me…he texted to say he was in bed, off to work in the morning…..I pray he stays strong enough to keep trying…my love for him and trust in him knows that our fight is ongoing..the devil of addiction better be ready for me, cause I’m one bad ass mum, who will do anything to help my son get through this….prayers to all those effected by addiction stay strong!
Hugs Hunni x
Hi scanners…I’m so pleased…small steps , things coming together…I really hope he maintains this positivity..he is very lucky he has such a great mum n dad….hugs Hunni xxx
Addicts steal, sorry but it’s fact….he has 3 children who will be left in the midst of his addiction…..I’m so sorry that things haven’t worked out, but I fear for his kids big time…….you say you have a son, I think you should stop and think about the impact on him, kids deserve an environment where they are priority…and believe me at the moment it sounds like he is just about keeping things together…..not sure how long he can maintain that! I’m not saying give up,but living with an addict is frightening, scary, and a feeling like walking on egg shells…..all the clues are there…..only he can want to get help……only you know what to do, and I hope you find your answer……I wouldn’t want any kid to be around that situation….hugs and take care of yourself and your son, and his kids xx
I think this is your wake up call Hunni…your body obviously was trying to tell you something…it only takes one time to experience such a negative unhealthy effect…go to the festival, and enjoy the time without any stimulant…be safe Hunni x
Until the government start taking rehab seriously, and look at the cold hard facts ( most men and women end up in jail due to their addiction, which in turn means they are forking out a mass of money ) then addicts will always be let down……it breaks my heart to know that so little money is ploughed into drug centres…not sure what the answer is!
You are a survivor xxxxxxxxx so many people let you and your brother down….I feel so very sad at your words……your brother is free now…god bless Hunni and so sorry for your loss..your brother sounds like he was a wonderful human, lost ……,take care xxxx
Hi pink pink, firstly, you are not a bad mother….addicts will blame everyone but themselves, lie, cheat, steal to get by and they are bloody good at it…you are doing the right thing….It took me a while to realise, every time I helped him, I was enabling him to continue with his addiction…so I told him to leave me alone, and not contact me till he was serious about getting help..now don’t get me wrong, it was hard, I felt a failure because mothers instinct is to help your kids…but I’m so glad I did…he hasn’t contacted you because he knows he won’t get anything….addicts are selfish..not their fault, but the child you thought you knew is replaced by what I can only describe as a stranger….please please please continue to go to the support group in your area….and talk about it, cause it does help Hunni….my son has been at Rock bottom and tried and failed afew times…then after coming out of a six week prison sentence he knew it was now or never..,he sorted out drug counselling, got a job, and relapsed twice, BUT, got straight BA k on it….now I’m not naive to think he’s cured, far from it, but he fights daily to stay clean, and his job really helps….he’s doing well, is third in charge, and only been there a couple of months..he luvs it, and says it gives him focus.. Don’t give up on your son completely, because hopefully he too will want help…and when he does be there to support him..it might take longer than you want, but I pray the time will come….until then look after YOU and the family…..here most days checking in, so if you need to talk….will say a prayer for your son and all the others affected by addiction…..hugs Hunni xx
Hi Hunni….your words move me to tears…..it’s so hard trying to keep things going when you live with an addict……only you can know what to do, and having support really does lighten that worry….your children I’m guessing are still too young to know what’s going on, but they won’t be for ever….think of the impact his addiction will have on them…….I hope against hope that you come to the right decision for you and your kids…in the meantime try and find some support from a group in your area. I have found the regulars on here a wealth of help….which in turn has made me so much stronger..take care Hunni xxx
Oh Rosie, my heart breaks for you….I can see this from his parents point of view…I told his then GF to stay away because it would drag her down..they have a son to think about…but, whilst staying away, she told him she would support him IF he was serious about getting clean.we were in constant contact…it took my son to get to his lowest point to realise his life was shit…..he is still in Recovery and I can see every day is a struggle..he sourced help, got himself a job and is really trying..he had had 2 relapses , the last one where he too ended up in hospital…on his wristband it said unknown…that broke my heart…but I didn’t go and get him..made him make his own way home, where as a family we had a meeting , he got straight back on the phone to his counsellor, and thankfully his work have been amazing…his supervisor is an ex addict who has taken him under his wing, and that has also been a tremendous support for him…..the only thing I can say is it really is his call….as hard as it is to want to save them, we can’t…they have to want to save themselves..hugs my darling….and get some support, please! X
Hey scanner how did you get on? Hope your ok xx