[carlb]

Thank you and I am confident I will. It is just a matter of patience and determination.

I hope things work out for you and your family.

[carlb]

I am very sorry it has gotten this bad. The main focus of my life is gaining the chance to rebuild a relationship with my 2 children and I have to face the fact that I have missed 2 years of their lives despite odd phonecalls. Until the authorities are satisfied I am not allowed direct contact. This for me was what changed my attitude. Even living in a car park wasn’t enough to alter my actions but my children deserve to have a father and to deprive them of that is selfishness on my part.

I hope you can find the strength to support your son from a safe distance and that he will make the choice to continue in the same vain or to make a change.

You can destroy yourself trying to make it happen but only he can make the choice.

Stay strong and cherish the good days!

[carlb]

It took me a long time to get clean in total 21 years but the real problem is learning to engage with people and situations while being sober.

As a user if becomes almost impossible to do things sober once you have started along this road. I couldn’t even sit and watch a film if I was sober because I felt I wouldn’t enjoy it. So I was heavily dependent on numerous substances.

I understand why you go out of your way for him but it shouldn’t be your responsibility and the more he can use you to essentially hold his hand when he messes up the longer it will continue.

I am ashamed of how I used and manipulated my mum and I knew she would cave in if I kept on.

When it got too bad then she had to cut me loose…no more enabling and I was not welcome under the influence.

If I needed to talk or support with getting clean she was there but she wasn’t going to watch me kill myself any longer.

[carlb]

Thanks for your kind words.

[carlb]

Hi I am sorry to read your situation. I am a addict who has been through meth and am now on espranor (subutex). There are some great services available to people in this situation and the best advice would be to switch to subutex…it acts as an inhibitor and the longer you are on it the more it takes the cravings and eventually even the thoughts about using. Speak to the meth clinic and they can arrange it.

Subutex is a replacement used for quick treatment with the plan to reduce until it is stopped in a short time span. Unlike methadone which most people abuse at the same time as heroin.

I am 18 months clean and I hope your partner can beat this…it ruined my life and I am never going to be the person I was before.

All the best.

[carlb]

Thanks for the encouragement… i take it each day at a time and am enjoying rediscovering myself.

I am sorry to hear how it beat your ex.

[carlb]

Don’t get too disheartened by this minor setback. We have all been there and relaspse is most common during the first 2 years getting clean. Being away from a toxic relationship is probably for the best. I was in one and it was so one sided that when I was finally free the relief was incredible. As for rest take it a day at a time and things get easier.

I have been clean since December 27th 2019 and I still have bad days where all I want is to use. Whenever I get like this I call somebody just to hear a voice and have a normal conversation or i find any other activity I can do to occupy myself and alleviate the desire to get wasted.

Keep going.

[carlb]

Hi and thanks for reading my story. I can tell you that it is normal for somebody who is making an effort to get clean to go through some very dramatic personality issues to begin with.

After long term addiction the chemical balance of the brain takes time to return to normal and it is common to be irritable and paranoid.

I myself was so paranoid that I began using a different name.

This should regulate itself in time and after a few months you should see a real difference.

Be on the lookout for major moodswings and agressions with hyperactivity as these can be signs of continued use. When somebody is telling people their clean but secretly still using then they feel tremendous guilt and shame which makes it almost impossible to get help and so they will act out.

You are doing great to stane by your partner and he will appreciate that in the long term.

Right now time is the best healer as your partner needs to learn to cope sobriety. Everything seems so much harder in the begining but as things progress they will get better.

I hope this has been of some help.

[carlb]

Hi Kate1 I understand how you feel because my mother went through hell with me.

Unfortunately there is no quick fix because an addict will only change after hitting rock bottom and the more that people are enabling the longer this will go on. Personally knowing that I could use guilt or pity to get what I wanted from my mother despite already losing eveyrone else kept me in the cycle. I have been on the receiving end of what i m going to say and he will say horrible things and try to play the victim but stay firm. You need to be tough and offer any emotional support he needs but no more financial assistance. He will resent you qt first but the goal is to break the cycle and to still be able to have his mother for advice and guidance.

It is not easy but you need to make him responsible for his own actions and to make him understand what he stands to lose.

[carlb]

This is a reply to drainedmum the longest it will stay in your urine is 5 days no matter how long you used. It will be detectable in a hair folicule test for about 6 months.

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