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Hello everyone.
I am loving following your progress (I KNOW how hard it is) I havent posted for a long time but its important to keep our struggles close and not become complacent so I continue to pop in for read fairly regularly.
I am about to reach 7 months clean from many years of addiction and subsequent falling off the wagon regularly. Even a week will set me back with withdrawals. Re energy, it does come back but its a more normal energy and not one that is enhanced from the codeine buzz that we keep searching for. The depression also lifts. I am 60 so my energy is not the same as it was when I was 40 (and using) however, I can walk for miles and I am now decorating my house. Something I never thought I could do when I was having protracted withdrawals that I thought would never end.
Maria (are you the same lady as in our WhatsApp group??) You are progressing even if sometimes you think you’re not. I would definitely say it takes a good few months. Like you, I am more scared of failing than I ever was and that is why I have made 7 months (almost) the thought of going through withdrawals again is horrific and the length of time it takes to feel ok is overwhelming. I never want that again.
Sending much love and strength to all who attempt this difficult journey. There is hope so please please dont ever give up.
Hi there C8, the dodgy tum is par for the course. Its brilliant you have cut down as much as you have and you have done it quickly so unsurprising you are feeling it a bit. If you cut down your remaining very slowly you might save yourself some grief. In my experience, there is always some level of WD whether its psychological and or physical. Exercise will definitely help and generally keeping active and healthy. Good luck with the rest of your taper.
Hello everyone. Mark your post inspired me to say something 🙂 I was here last year and had a horrible withdrawal. This place kept me strong for a long time around 6 months. Then as is always the case with me, a day here, a few days there. Maybe a couple of weeks and I realised I was constantly going through withdrawal when I wasn’t taking them. I have been a user for many many years on and off and I struggle to see a life where I can consistently say I am done. Anyway, a particularly low point came a couple of weeks ago. 2 weeks clean and I found someone had dropped a strip of codeine phosphate in the park. Anyway, I am back on the straight and narrow again. Today is day 14.
Mary, I am like you, I take for emotional reasons rather than physical pain. Although physical pain has been a good excuse in the past.
You are all doing great. Just being here helps with the strong mindset which we all need consistently.
Hi there. Is your Dr planning to cut you dead or help you with a taper? I dont believe it is dangerous to stop CT with opioids. It can be with alcohol and benzodiazepines. It is unpleasant though and can last a while. I have done many CTs and its definitely doable as can be seen by the many examples in this thread. It might be worth explaining to your Dr that you are addicted and cannot simply stop and ask him/her to help with a taper as that is quite negligent to prescribe for so long then suddenly decide to stop. How much are you taking? It is largely down to preference when choosing cold turkey or tapering so maybe do some research and speak again to your Dr. Good luck. Stay in touch with your progress.
Hiya Rach and everyone,
Lovely to see you. WhatsApp thread is still going strong thankfully. I hope you are ok we missed you when you left.
I am afraid I had an 11 day lapse which is exactly what you warned about being lured back in. Started off as a few days to get some relief for a worry, then had to take again for a few more days because I felt rubbish and needed to be somewhere. Its terrifying how even after 6 months clean it still has me. I honestly worry that I will never be able to be confident that its not going to rear its head and I will be able to stay off. Anyhoo, I am on day 8 again and still feeling weak (I didn’t even take much) but still it floors us.
Take care everyone x
Hi Kerry. You poor thing, it is tricky to decide whether taper or CT. I went CT route as not disciplined enough to taper. I would say that you might feel your anxiety worsening. However, realise it for what it is, withdrawal and it will pass. You have a golden opportunity to get this out of your system with your time off. If you can accept you will feel a bit crappy and prepare, you will get through it and many issues will be over. Especially explaining to the Dr! My advice would be to get Imodium, Netflix, Berroca and some good healthy easy to eat food and get through it. You will likely get the runs and feel achey, or flu like but it does pass. The other thing I did, it research codeine addiction in every possible way to give you the drive to keep at it. You can do it and it is so freeing. I will not say its easy, because its very hard, but it can be done. Stick around and let us know how you are doing x
Hi everyone. I hope everyone is doing OK?
Quick update. I have now been codeine free for 3.5 months. I feel amazing. I can honestly say that I am not craving at all. I can go in chemists and not immediately get palpitations any more. I can drive past (the many) different chemists I used to visit with regularity and not get the urge to go in and buy NP. For me, this is huge. I never really thought possible and feel incredibly proud. The reality is, once the codeine is out of your system for a decent amount of time, the body and mind really does reset which is something I never believed. I hope that you all are OK and reaching your goals too.
Hi Layla, thats amazing just doing the 2. Have you some Imodium? What helped me was to write down all the reasons I no longer wanted to take them. Eg cost, mental health, physical health, moodiness, lying to chemists, petrol used getting from chemist to chemist, having to plan chemist hopping, having to lie to family about imagined pain, feeling sick, constipation, swelling ankles (convinced it affected kidneys), rebound headache, constant battle with withdrawal and then failure, always knackered, always skint, the list goes on and on. Stick at it and free yourself from the living hell that is codeine addiction x
I think that unless someone has personally experienced addiction, they will never truly get what its like to go through it. The total mental battle that it takes to get away from it.
What might be an idea is to prep yourself for withdrawal symptoms. It is possible to go through them and yes feeling absolutely awful, but still able to function on a lowish level. I dont believe there is a way to avoid them completely. The choice seems to be one hard shock (CT) or prolonged as in tapering. Both ways are valid dependent on the person but either way, there are lots to do to help while going through it and accepting that it won’t be fun for a while.
How did you get on after not taking the 3 the other night?
Hi Layla
There’s some videos about opiate tapering on YouTube that might help. I think 10% per week has been suggested to minimise withdrawal although you will still get some symptoms they will be more manageable.
Try not to feel ashamed. No one deliberately puts themselves in this situation. There’s always a reason and a solution and hope.
For the first time in about 15 years i have gone on holiday without my pills and it has been great! I never thought I could do it. Its a relief not to be waiting for next dose.
Oh i so get those innocuous reasons for starting! And soon enough we can’t function without. Your poor dog and you going through that. At least you were always there to help her. Your plan is good. With determination you will get there. Sominex is good for sleeping and imodium for stomach. The hardest part. Is the mental stuff as you have probably Already gathered. Stick around for support as it does help x
Hi Layla welcome to you!
Yes absolutely possible you are addicted to codeine even on your dose im afraid. Its the regularity rather than the amount that will cause addiction. Your symptoms when you don’t take them sound like typical withdrawal symptoms.
Do you have any plans to stop? If you have read the thread you will know there is loads of ideas and support here
Hey Kalima, dont blame yourself for this. Codeine feels nice and when we take it we want it more. Then we are addicted. I couldn’t taper but have relapsed many many times over the last 20 or so years. I did it cold turkey and now been off about 3 months. Determined not to go down that route again so sought help for my anxiety etc. For me it was HRT that made me feel better. I am hoping that I can stay off this time. Find what triggers you and try and treat that
Hi Kit, yes I get that worry about the doctor. I dont think they will cut you off if you explain that you are concerned about addiction and would like help to come off and most importantly, find another way to manage your pain.
Once you know where you are, you might feel strong enough to either make a choice of CT or taper. Either way, it will be tough but a great thing to do to get your life back.
I chose CT. I dont have the discipline for taper but we’re all different.
Hi Emzy and Robin, you both can do this. I understand it horrible just now but stick with it, it does get better. Loose bowels, Imodium works a treat. There’s loads of other tips to get you through this difficult time xx