[catsmum]

Hi everyone Ive not been on for a while. Nice to hear some positives from people and hope it continues. No real reason for this post I suppose I’m just so sad about the whole situation and the effects on us. I fear my son is still using. Also I fear he’s gambling again. He looks so bad, he’s not sleeping and never has anything. Take care everyone xxx

[catsmum]

Hi bump22, thanks for the support as you say there’s a total lack of care from mental health services. Once I was in a & e with my son and asked for help from registrars and nurses. Explaining how worried I was for my sons mental health ialso told them that he was suicidal. They didn’t do a thing.

I’m so sorry to hear of your sons situation, it’s so awful as you say, it’s a living hell. I can totally relate to you having a proper night’s sleep too knowing he is in a safe place.

I sincerely hope that this will be the start of a journey full of support for you all.

Take care xx

[catsmum]

Hi everyone I’ve been reading your stories and it’s like reading about me and my son! I can’t believe how similar it all is.

My son who is in his 30’s started using cocaine several years ago.

His behaviour was erratic, couldn’t hold down a job, started his own business stole thousands off of people which we bailed him out of (as we stupidly didn’t have a clue he was using).

Never got a penny back. Had people hammering on the door for money. I was absolutely terrified. He also had an alcohol and gambling problem.

He stole my jewellery to pawn and sold anything that wasn’t pinned down.

Several years passed he moved out a couple of times which didn’t work. As you say we’ve been manipulated and abused for years.

As you’ve said his pit of a room which he rarely came out of.

He too has been suicidal at times.

Years missed to cocaine.

Eventually we had to sell our home as we could no longer afford to keep it due to all the money we’ve bailed him out with.

We bought him a caravan to live in which was soon in a disgusting state.

We are very happy in our new home. But then about a month ago he came for dinner and is still here. Obviously he had ran a big coke bill up. He has asked if he can stay as the caravan is depressing and he very easily turns to cocaine in it. Again manipulation. I have said he can stay short term but if I find or feel he’s had anything he will be told to leave. At present he has been clean for 6 weeks.

Which is really good though as he has previously been clean for 4 months I’m on a knife edge just can never relax knowing it can change in a blink.

He also has been working for a few weeks and for a change is enjoying it.

At the weekend he had some incredibly bad luck which made me feel ill with worry to how he would react.

He has finally reached out to a personal coach and he messaged them!

He is actually managing well and this coach seems to be helping him.

To add he has refused help from anywhere before saying he’s got to do it himself. We did go to aa a few years ago but he refused to go back.

As you’ve said my husband has said the same and has blocked his calls. I’m worried about his mental health due to this but he refuses to go to the Dr’s.

I’ve had council ing previously.

Have had 3 breakdowns and am on medication for my anxiety and depression.

I’ve told my son this is it now. I’ve realised we’ve enabled him all along and this makes me feel so guilty. It’s not happening any more.

Thanks for reading.

[catsmum]

Thanks both glad that your son is doing well l.

Lizzie it is a constant living hell, living on edge constantly.at least no longer afraid of the door being kicked in.

I’ve had some counselling which has helped me to manage my emotions a little. I think I would benefit from some more.

I do worry about my daughter in it all as you say. I try my best with setting boundaries and feel that I’m getting better with that.

Thanks both x

[catsmum]

Thank you for letting me know about icarus I shall have a look.

[catsmum]

Hi I’m not sure why I’m on here today just feel everything is overwhelming. My son has sought help which at the moment seems to be going well. It’s just I suppose we’re still on the cliffs edge. He had some incredibly bad luck at the weekend for which he has managed extremely well. Proud of him for that. I’m so scared for him and just want things to go his way and for him to continue to work for this.

It’s just apart from the stress and nerves, I’m frightened for our future too.

We just seem to be bailing him out all the time.

I’ve told him I want money weekly from Friday, no excuses or dramas else he shall have to leave.

You just dread Friday don’t you.

Sorry for rambling on, just feel so alone.

[catsmum]

Thank you xx

[catsmum]

Hi Debc sorry for the late reply but I’ve had a problem getting back on here.

Thanks for your reply. I’ve read Theresa’s story and the other mums it was like they were writing about my son and me.

He did so well last year when he stopped he managed for 4 months.

He just says he can’t be on his own otherwise he will start again so probably not ready. I’m sitting in my own home terrified.. He owes money and had been given up to 12pm to pay.

This is the first time we haven’t caved in and paid it. It’s so hard though.

My priority this week is to spend some quality time with my husband.

Thanks again.

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