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Thanks for that. I’ve gone back into frozen mode again this week, and I just crap my pants and freeze when I want to speak. My sponsor said don’t worry about it just yet, I’m doing everything else good. Thanks for that ????
Why has he used? I thought it was Dec 2nd he last used?
Hope your OK?
Yes thanks, I had a little wobble today but I spoke to my sponsor today and I’m OK now. Thanks. ????❤️
Ye it makes you do crazy things coke. He sounds like he’s been on it longer than 9 month. But it effects everyone different. My gf just tells me say no to it, but it’s not as simple as that.
You are best off out of there if it makes you happy. He needs to fix himself before anything else.
OK thanks very much.
Hiya, hope your OK. I’m the same as your and I’m 4 week clean today. I decided to join C A anonymous 4 week ago and got a sponsor and now I’m working my steps. I’ve never felt so happy, I know it’s a long way to go, but I’m on the right track.
My addiction has been going on 10 year, but it’s been once every few week or once a week. It did get a bit bad recently. Like I didn’t need use alcohol to get coke and other things. He seems like he has a really bad habit. Would he not join CA?
But he needs to admit he has a problem 1st, and put the effort in.
But going back to your question. I don’t think you have done anything wrong. If anything you have cut him off while it’s still early. Women will tell you on here they have been with there partners for years and still it’s same shit dif day.
You have your own health to worry about. His family need to support him and guide him. None of it is your fault. Its easy for an addict to blame someone. But at the end of the day we got our self’s in this mess, time to get ourselfs out of it.
If he wants to stop, he needs delete everyone out his phone even family who have coke, and that’s just the start. Does he want to stop?
Just tell him search CA meetings online. And you go through zoom. There are lots on.
The toilet is were the most action you will see a coke addict. Also look for white specs on the floor of it. Always here if u need out. Good luck.
Yes because of covid meetings are all online from zoom. U just go to CA website and search meetings. They are on from 7am to 10pm loads of areas, but it doesn’t matter as its zoom. Tell him get to as many as he can. That’s if he wants to.
It sounds like he is using a hell of a lot. Is he in a well paid job? More money.. More coke.. I guess. That’s one of my main reasons I am stopping my health. My heart was pounding for days after my last use a month ago, and had bad anxiety.
All these excuses he says of why he is picking up, he drove past there by accident, ect.. Ect… It his is brain tricking him. His brain will want it, even if deep down he doesn’t. He needs to avoid these triggers. Go the long way round, and do near the dealers, no drinking, talking to certain people. The list goes on. Mine can be a key, as I snorted off keys a lot. It’s that small what a trigger can be.
This is why you swap nums, if you feel like using phone your sponsor, get some numbers off the zoom meetings, and you phone someone if u want to use, and they talk you out of it! Believe me it works! Cravings only last 20 min.
I also do a little drawn diagram on my fridge of a calender. Can be weekly, monthly. Each day has task, read, walk, gym decorate, meeting, no alcohol. Make you a meal lol things like this to keep him focused helps a lot.
He need a to take baby steps. Just stay clean for each day he needs to tell himself. I listen to cocaine recovery podcast on you tube these help me so much. Tell him listen to a few. There is light at the end of the tunnel, it just goes down to how much he is willing to try.
Oh it won’t be in his pocket. Mine was in my sock, it can be hidden under an ornement in the toilet. Places like this. It probably will never be in his pocket. It’s so easy to get it delivered while your in bed aswell. My dealer use leave it on top of the wheel of my car or post it. Loads of ways of getting it. An addict gets it no matter what.
I no it hard but he needs delete his brothers num aswell. I deleted all my cousins who use, I deleted my fb and insta aswell. My biggest problem with quitting, is seeing my gf go out all done up and me staying in soba, I can’t drink ever again as it leads to coke, the thought of not going out again is frightening. Its like their is no other life than drinking! Well it’s bullshit, I can’t say out yet. But I watch a load of podcast about people telling their recovery stories, people in the meetings telling their stories. Each and every one of them say they feel so much better, so much to do! Mentally fit. No hangovers no downer for days. A lot have come out really successful. It stops us doing things. My kids get everything, clothes, toys, I play with them. But these last 4 weeks of quitting and joining CA I’m doing more with them and playing more made up games. Im more emotionally attached to them if that makes sense. Apart of me feels guilty because of that shit I’ve been putting up my nose. I really hope I dnt go back. So I pray now and meditate. Sounds sad but I don’t want it anymore. It ruins family’s.
Just keep reminded him it’s better without and life gets better. ????????
Hiya Gill, hope you are OK, no mum should go through that.
Anyways I’m a coke addict and I’m 4 week clean now. I’ve finally joined C A and I’m working my 12 steps. I feel so much better and happier and doing the steps will help with his underlying problems as its one of the steps. It’s not the drugs that are the problem it’s are underlying things that bother us.
Plus he could speak to someone while in C A. I’m Meditating each day now, and I feel so much happier. Does your son want to stop? He needs to want to stop really. The effects of coke when it’s wearing off is depression and suicidal thoughts. If I literally have just used my last bit I feel like crying. There is such a good support network with C A and he can get a sponsor and work the steps. Feel free to ask me anything
Hiya, hope you are OK? I’m the same as your bf, I’ve been using coke for 11 year, I was 26 when. I 1st started. For the last 8 year I’ve been doing my best to quit it. My use is only once every few week, or once a week. Never really during the week. But I am still an addict. It doesn’t have to be everyday.
I’m 4 week clean now, I have joined C A anonymous after my last relapse boxing day. I’ve just had enough. I’m sick of the depression, suicidal thoughts ect.. There is not one positive thing about it. I feel so much better now and my life is getting better, but its early days.
If your bf is having it everyday, he must be bad, god knows why he needs it before bed? Because it keeps you up for hours and hours. Ye it does make you horney, but it also gives u bad anxiety and heart problems, shakes and so on and really bad paranoia.
If u want him to stop, he needs to want to stop for himself, otherwise he will just keep using. He needs delete all dealers and friends nums to do with coke, even come off social media. Also he needs to take up new hobbies.
It’s hard, really hard. It’s like a devil on your shoulder. Egging you on all the time.
That’s why C A works. You swap numbers and go to meetings. I’ve been their 4 week I have 20 people now in my phone and I speak to most daily talking to each other. This helps in recovery. It put me off at 1st but honestly it really works. I meditate every day now. I’ve never felt happier. Your bf is just stuck in a big rut and needs to get out and fast!
Now… This is my opinion..if he isn’t prepared to get the help or admit he has a problem and implement new strategies in his life to stop getting coke and carry on wasting money. Do you want to stay around and damage your health aswell.?
My gf has stood by me but I really have put the effort in. It is hard and he will get there but that’s if he wants to quit. Feel free to ask me anything.
Thanks for that ???? do you think he’s using most days in the house?
Looks like the candle worked lol I spoke up 1st and wasn’t too bad. I feel a lot better now it’s done ????
He just needs to admit it and prove to you he’s quitting. You literally have to change your daily routine around. Healthy food, vitamins, I listen to recovery stories on you tube. I’ve took up reading, and I do my best to learn new words. Just to keep me occupied. I deleted all social media. You can message dealers on there, plus seeing people getting pissed and out encourages you to do the same.
It’s hard but the rewards are worth it. But I’m only 4 week so I can’t say much lol