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I’m bad for figiting at night lol. Still now.
Maybe he needs a new job then. We have to make sacrifices in addiction they are hard but they are the right thing to do.
I like saying this, and promote c.a, but if you work a programme, pray and meditate each day, lead a honest life, I don’t lie anymore, I help people, I’m kind, I connect with other addicts, I pay bills on time. I. Have my own place, I see my kids. If u do all these things, each day, your life will get better, its like the law of attraction, if u give off good u will get good back. He’s just stuck in a rut in the same crappy routine. He needs to hit his rock bottom and get the help
I hope it goes well for you. And do what’s right for you x
Just replied back natasha.
Hiya James mate. Totally relate to your story.. I don’t know how you have quit. But have u done it through cocaine anonymous? And do the 12 steps? If u haven’t, this is what you are missing they say.
Are u in C. A? OR N. A
Hiya gem, I hope your OK. 1st off I’m 4 month and 1 week clean from cocaine. After using for 12 year. My gf kicked me out last year. She just had enough. But my life is going great now. Got my own 2 bed flat. Kids are on the couch at side of me and life is good. And I hit my rock bottom. I joined cocaine anonymous, I am doing the 12 steps I got a sponsor. I get on my knees the min I roll out of bed and pray. And I pray at night. I meditate each day. And now I live a honest life. I cut everyone off. I have new clean mates from C. A, I do meetings ect. If you want to stop and put the effort in. It will work and he will get better.
Now reading your story it’s me all over. And most addict. Cocaine is a seedy drug, it makes u cheat, go to brothels, escorts, dating sites the lot. It all comes hand in hand. It’s like the thrill of it all. I’ve done some nasty things and I wouldn’t of dreamed of doing them without coke. It’s ruins family’s.
All I can suggest now, is if he is not willing to get help and go to a meeting or rehab. You have your own life, move on think of your own mental health and your children. You can be there for 20 year telling him he needs get help. But if he don’t admit he is an addict and want help himself, your flogging a dead horse. No matter how much u love him. Think of yourself now. And your children. Your life will get better and u will get happier I promise u this. Just believe in your self. And trust what your doing is right. Hope this helps
Hiya natasha thanks for that.
The pubs are not to bad to be honest. My using was on my own in the end at home sneaking to the toilet. Sad really but this is what it does to us.
On coke you will not eat 1 bit and I mean 1 bit. But the days after when u are not using come you will binge eat. I eat alot of sugar in the night, I wake up craving cereal, and sugar, this is like a substitute for cocaine because I’m quitting.
But u crave a lot of sugar as well as its like cocaine in away.
I never really lossed weight because I was using once a week at worse. If he’s using more times a week like 3 time a week. He’s not gonna be eating much. You just don’t want to eat the min u snort it
This is what happens in a come down scientifically and what it did to me.. So in our brains we have dopamine and serotonin, these are brain chemicals that make us happy and sad.. So imagine now like a thermometer. 1 to 100.. And – 1 to – 100.. (minus).
Not say I have a biscuit now I get excited.. Release dopamine. Will get a 5 on the scale, buying clothes 20, sex 100, all these things release dopamine levels in the brain. Now when you have cocaine.. Boom… Your dopamine explodes and just hits 1000 for example. And that’s why u keep wanting more and more. But what comes up must come down. So when the coke has gone, it doesn’t balance it self back out to 0. It goes to minus 1000, and this feeling Is awful. You feel depressed, suicidal, doing what u can to get more, texting everyone, escape the house at 4 am.
A few times the minute my bag ran out I was crying my eyes out. Its a horrible feeling. And it can take a few days to get back to normal.. Then come. Friday again, your OK and u want more again. Its a vicious circle.
My friends have killed them self’s on it. A lovely woman on here lost her son from it. It’s just a horrible disease. It makes you not to be the nice guy u was.
This addiction, the brain and disease does not want u to get better, it will manipulate every situation to use. That’s why I work a programme and it works. I hope I explained it as well as I can.
Don’t be daft James mate good to hear from you. Ask away mate
Well I’m home. Now u OK?
Just replied
Hiya natasha, hope your OK. 1st thing I can say is. Your husband needs to admit he has a problem and get help. Either from meetings in cocaine anonymous or rehab.
He has to do this for himself, u can’t force him. He has to hit his rock bottom.. Just reading a few of your comments now I ve been there and done it. Its 1 big vicious circle. With addiction., this stuff sends u depressed for days, suicidal, and when the weekend comes it’s same again. Get some more. I can only talk quick now because I’m at work. But if he is not willing to get help. Delete thatt mates number, never see him again! He is not a mate! Cut everyone off. Can’t drink alcohol ever again as this is a big trigger.
You are gonna be doing this for the rest of your life.. So if I was u. Either tell him get help and do what I’ve suggested make sure he is and is not lying. Or you leave and u leave a happy life which is what u will get. I have go back to work but I’ll explain more later sorry
Hey its Danny lol, I’m just at work work but I’ll look for them 2day and reply
Hiya ava, hope you are OK.
Well like I said to becky he won’t stop untill he admits he has a problem and is will to go to any lengths to stop.
Tell him get to some meetings. Or if he is quite bad to try a reehab.
I wouldn’t pay any of his debts. As he is relying on you now and knows you and the family will bail him out. I’d say to him, no more now that’s it.. Your on your own. You go get help now, and fast.
Don’t give him anymore money what so ever. If he needs money for food. Buy him the food ect.
He needs some tough love now as hard as it sounds. Your just gonna be doing the same thing all the time and he’s just gonna keep using and manipulating you all. That’s what addicts do.
Hope this helps
Hiya becky I hope your ok
I am now 4 month and 1 week clean from cocaine.
I’ll tell you my story as short as I can and the help I got and hope this helps.
So I’m 38, 3kids. Was in a relationship for 12 year till last May. I was using coke for 12 years. I’ve been trying to quit coke for the last 7 year roughly. I tried everything.. Councilling, hypnotherapy, self will, cutting people off ect.
I used roughly once a week, sometimes once every few week. When the coke wears off it sends u on a bad come down and makes u suicidal, I’ve lost friends from it. Its 1 big vicious cycle. You can use once every few week and still be an addict.
What has helped me to get better and I always said I never would is I joined cocaine anonymous last year, I got a sponsor and worked the 12 steps. I got my bets clean time, had a few relapses, but I am now 2 week off my best clean time in 12 year.
For your partner to get better. He needs to want to quit for himself. Basically hit rock bottom. Admit he is an addict and get the help. He needs get to some meetings, get a sponsor and work the 12 steps. I pray and meditate each day. Don’t let the god aspect put you off tel him.
I have made the best mates ever and we go on days out ect. They are proper mates who are clean. He needs to cut everyone off to do with coke. Implement new goals and a good daily routine. And really want this. Because its only gonna get worse.
My life now becky without it, I’ve never felt happier, I’m honest, I don’t lie, I help people, I’m caring ect.. And when u do this programme your life will get better.
He might have a few blips here and there but he will get better of he does the programme as told.
But the main thing is he needs to admit he is an addict and get the help. There a zoom cocaine annoymous meetings online as well.
I’ve tried getting it all in as much as I can. Hope this helps. Feel free to ask me anything.
Hi there, I hope your OK. I’m 2.5 months clean now from cocaine. So I can give you some help I hope.
So im 38, been on coke for 12 years. For roughly the last 7 years I’d say I’ve done everything to try and quit, councilling, hypnosis, self will and so on. And don’t get me wrong it worked for a few month or week. But cocaine addiction is like a devil on your shoulder.
It has massive side effects of depression and suicidal thoughts.
So basically I could finish using at 3am and by 4am I’m feeling suicidal. And can feel like this for days. It’s crazy why we choose to keep. Using when it makes us feel like this.
Last year I joined cocaine anonymous. It’s been the best thing I’ve ever done. I got a sponsor and I’m working the 12 steps. I phone other ex addicts each day which keeps me clean. I go to face to face meetings and I do zoom meetings. I’ve got a load new mates. My life is so much better, I’ve never felt happier.
And I work a good programme.
Now for your son to get better. He needs to want to quit for himself. You can’t force him. He needs to hit rock bottom. Which he sounds like he has. He needs to delete all dealers numbers, family and friends who use. Come of social media. Get a new number. Start doing new hobbies, walking, gym, reading can be anything he wants. A new healthy life style to get mentally strong. And get to a meeting. He can’t have alcohol again as well as this leads to coke.
He’s gonna hate his life right now. Because that’s what coke does to you. He needs to believe in himself and set some short term goals. And cut everything off that’s no good for him. He will get there if he puts the effort in. And I promise he will feel so much happier. That’s only a small amount of what I can say for now. Hope this helps. Feel. Free to ask me anything
Well he’s obviously addicted. You can use once a month and still be addicted. Alcohol and coke come hand in hand, the minute u have a few drinks your phoning a dealer.
If he never wants coke again he is going to have to quit alcohol as well. Or else it’s just gonna be a vicious circle. He needs to delete all dealers nums and friends who use. Or get a new number. Avoid pubs and mates. And start changing his life around. And maybe join cocaine anonymous and work the steps and go to a meeting. There could be underlying issues from his childhood why he uses, but doesn’t have to be the case.
When the coke wears off it sends you suicidal and depressed for days. It’s an awful drug. And ruins family’s. I’d make sure you see him putting the effort in. Or start thinking of your self.
You too kate, always here to talk, enjoy your break away x