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Hiya skittles hope your OK.
I’ve joined cocaine anonymous to stop coke. And it helps me a lot. Im just busy at the mo. So can’t tell u my full story.
He’s not taking more to piss u off. He’s taking more because he’s addicted. If he’s taking it every other day he must be bad on it.
He needs to want to quit him self. U can’t force him. And he needs get to C. A and do some meetings. But I don’t know the inns and outs of your story.
If he has no intentions of stopping. He won’t. And will get worse, feeling depressed for days and suicidal then back using. One big vicious circle. If you don’t want to put up with that then id leave ASAP.. Feel free to ask me anything
Hiya sunny,
I hope you are OK. I my self have a cocaine addiction. I’ve been using 12 year. But realised in the last 7 year I guess I was an addict. I never used everyday, just weekends, or every few week. Or months without sometimes. Not alot but I did.
I joined cocaine anonymous boxing day 2021. I just had enough. The depression and feeling suicidal for days after using. It effects your mental health so much.
I got 4 month clean then got kicked out after relapsing. Was in a shared accom for 6 month. Now I’m in a 2 bed flat. I’ve had a couple of relapses. But I have anew sponsor now and working the steps in C. A, and now I’m 3 week clean.
It’s so hard to avoid coke as it is everywhere. And it’s highly addictive.
For your son to quit he needs to want to for himself. He needs to hit his rock bottom where he’s just had enuff and he admits he is an addict. Then that’s the perfect foundation to get clean.
He needs to cut everyone who uses out of his life, get a new phone number, never drink as this is a big trigger. Avoid triggers and places. Avoid women for a while. And JOIN CA and get to some meetings.
And meet people like him and connect with them.
But this is all down to if he wants to stop. Does he want to stop?
Ye payday is a big trigger for people, I could just get it and owe the money so this wasn’t a big trigger for me. I guess it’s limiting how many triggers you have. It’s Hard and your mind tricks you so much aswell because it’s wants the stuff.
I cam believe your soul mates and that. But this crap just ruins family’s and people. I wish I never even tried it. And that’s why I go on at my kids about the dangers of drugs even alcohol. Alcohol is as bad. People just think because its legal its OK.. I really hope he sorts himself. Get him to try and read some true story books on addiction. People who have struggled and beat it. They helped me a lot in recovery.
I’ve messeged you. Let me know if you get it
Thank you so much for that. And tell him it’s not about God at all. We can have a higher power what we believe in. Mine is basically the law of attraction and the universe. Good energy and bad.. Sounds stupid but it helps me. My mate has his grandparents who have passed away. It’s your own higher power. Most will talk about God because that’s what they believe in. He just hasn’t done enough meetings to see this.
I totally get you, my ex didn’t mind me relapsing, she went mad, but never kicked me out, untill last year. So you play on it and think they won’t mind ect.. Plus her friends use it a lot aswell.
It’s so hard to quit on your own with out the help. He will get 3 months most on his own. Then you think I’m cured now ect.. I can have one drink.. I won’t get any coke.. Then bang.. Your back on it
The C. A programe is each day you stay clean for the day. Do a meeting, connect, meditation, do new hobbies. And it works.
He just needs to try. But that’s up to him.
Thank you for your comments they really help me. I remember you now lol.
If he ever wants my email just let me know. Can’t give out numbers on here.
Anything to get you away from the situation yes I do think it’s best for you. But I thing you need join C. A or N. A and go to meetings and focus on getting clean and surround your self with people who are clean and sober. And you will get so many new good friends who want to see you well. I go out with new mates now who are clean. I trust them more than my own friends.
It’s time to start a fresh, and get your life back, and do some new hobbies. It won’t be easy. But if you put the effort in it works. I do alot of meditation and if u give off good energy you get good back.
If you have faith in your dad and what he’s doing, I don’t know him so I can’t comment on it. Go for it. Just get a new number and only give close fam and start a fresh. And work on you and recovery. Don’t let anything slip. Don’t even drink. And focus on you! That’s my opinion x
What area are you from or him?
Is he apart of C. A and tried meetings?
No matter what, nothing will stop his addiction or ours, only ourselves. I hear in the meetings so many times and me,.. I couldn’t stop for my kids, my family, my job, my wife, my life… Its just grips people
The only thing that we can quit for is ourselves then everything else will fall in to place perfectly. So he needs have to hit his rock bottom. And completely surrender. Which is step 1 of the 12 steps.
I have and keep trying, I’ve had enough of feeling suicidal the next day, the money spent, days lost, things stupidly said to certain people. It turns you into something your not.
Sorry for going on lol.
How do you think you being there is not helping him if you don’t mind me asking?
He needs to connect to other addicts like me and talk each day to them through the meetings.
I can’t remember if he was apart of c.a or not, I’ve spoke to so many on here and forget we’re I am lol. Really sorry.
But after reading this about your dad, that you have just found him after 2month.also make sure that’s the right decision. Because this is a big thing as well. I’m just being honest. But I guess it can’t be worse than the situation you are in. You have been through a lot so just double check everything with your dad and see if everything is legit if you know what I mean.
I don’t want to be saying the wrong thing here, but if you have not seen him for so long you don’t know what is right and wrong, and what he’s is genuinely like. I’m just being honest. Only you can judge this. Also regarding the heroin and being far away as possible.
You will find it in every town and village. So it’s about you being strong mentally. When it’s there.
But you can’t live with that partner or guy your living with. He’s controlling you and you need to be as far away as possible. So do what’s right for you. And trust your gut instincts.
I’m OK at giving advice but shit at taking it haha. Thanks for that.
Well 14days clean now. Just been to a new face to face meeting. It’s soo nerve racking, and I hate sharing, I’ve lost all my confidence because of my relapse so I need to build it up again.
How’s your day been?
Yes course it makes sence and thanks for your nice comments they help me aswell. Have you tried getting to a meeting or a zoom C. A meeting you will meet women with similar stories as yours and they will help you so much. You are better than that crap and they wi support you. And also you will help them.
Hiya, it’s good to hear from you.
I guess if it’s making you ill mentally and giving you bad anxiety, then you need to just focus on your self. Because I guess the kids will notice it. If you are not with him, then he needs to get the support from a C. A or A. A group. I can’t remember what his addiction is. But I guess they are all the same. My ex now was sort of supportive when I was with her. And has not asked how I am or any support what so ever since May when we split up, and it doesn’t bother me. I need to do it for my self and I get the support from my groups, my new friends in the meetings and close family.
So me personally if he is a good dad, just deal with him regarding the kids. And you go and focus on you.and let him focus on his recovery. Hope this helps.
Bloody hell, I hope your. I exactly thought the same with people on heroin. But I don’t anymore.. These were just normal people who maybe had a bad upbringing or said yes when they should of said no.. And by just saying that one word.. Yes… I’ll try some.. Is years of pain. But I look at it differently now.
Anyways well done for getting off it and weening off it with methedone. You should be proud of yourself.
Now.. You need get away from this guy ASAP. He’s got you on this crap, and he’s going to ruin your life. Your already talking suicide. Message your dad today and tell him sort it ASAP. Ask if u can stay with him, even if its on the couch. You need be away from this guy straight away. He’s a parasite, sorry for saying this but he is.
It’s the new year, start a fresh, move away, and stay away from anyone who uses. I don’t know your full situation with your dad. But if he’s a good dad ect.. Take that offer now!
I couldn’t think of anything worse for my daughter.
Also try and get some councilling with what you went through, because the drugs do take the pain away, but it’s short term and just makes it work.
I believe in you! So you can do this!
Be strong and take the leap. Everything will work out fine I promise. Fix yourself and everything will work out well. Even with your children.
Thanks lindy. I’ve survived Xmas anyway lol. And that was hard. The kids stayed at mine last night. So I’ve just been playing bored games with them. It’s so much a better feeling than being hungover.
Just need get the new year out of the way. Have a lovely day
Thank you. It was a clean one lol and was hard. Hope you had a good Xmas aswell
So sorry to hear about your sister, it must be heartbreaking, I hope your neice is OK. No child should go through losing there mum so young.
So sorry for what happend to you, the system is a joke and what you went through no woman should go through that. Are you still doing coke? It won’t be good for your mental health one bit with what you went through.
I have so many triggers, people, places, alcohol, even seeing keys.. Because I had coke off keys. Its about limiting your triggers and leading a better way of life.
I don’t know your full situation regarding coke. But your trauma will just fuel more using, if you don’t get help with what happend. That’s my opinion. I don’t know your full story and I don’t want to be saying the wrong thing if that makes sence.
But I guess the main question is are u using alot?