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Hi Rubyroo,
Welcome to the Forum, where you will find many people in similar situations to yourself.
I have to be very honest with you, I personally would not stay with your partner, his behaviour towards you is causing you to be depressed and wondering what the next thing he is going to say you have done wrong.
He won’t change until he decides he wants to, and only they can decide this, nothing we say or do will help them make their minds up, it’s the addiction.
I hope you stay strong for your own wellbeing.
Read the other stories on the Forum, they are very useful.
Take care of yourself.
Dx
Hi Mellisa82,
Welcome to the Forum, a great place to share your story and to be able to chat with people in the same situation.
Your Husband will only stop when he is ready too, and by the sounds of it he is in a downward spiral at the moment.
Do you think he wants help?
He probably knows that because of finances and family ties that you won’t leave or kick him out, but really what is he doing for you and the children? I know this may sound harsh, but all they think about is themselves, and it’s so unfair to the people they live with and especially for the children.
Have you read the other stories on here? I know there are lots of people in the same situation as yourself.
There is also the Icarus Trust who you can contact as well.
I hope you feel better for sharing your story, I know I did.
Take care of you and your children, keep chatting on here too.
Dx
Hi Emilwah,
Welcome to the Forum, hopefully you will find the answers you are looking for and really deserve.
I am the Mum of an addict, cocaine and alcohol, and had put up with it for 10 years until he realised he needed help. Only they can help themselves when they are ready.
Your life and your children’s life sounds like hell and this I’m afraid is what cocaine does. I’m sure you know that you all deserve better, but breaking the cycle is the hardest thing of all especially if you love them as we all do.
How can he afford cocaine if he has lost his job? It is a very expensive drug and very evil.
Read through some of the stories on the Forum, there are many people in the same situation, but by sharing your story you have reached out to the right place. I know I felt so much better after finding this and being able to share with people going through the same thing.
The most important thing is that you look after yourself and your children, and hopefully your Husband will seek some advice and try and get some help.
Keep in touch on the Forum, it’s always good to share on here.
Take care.
Dx
Hi bella73,
Welcome to the Forum, where hopefully you will get answers, it’s a great place to be able to share your story.
My Son is an addict, so just my experience from that and him telling me, I think the cocaine does heighten their sexual desires and I don’t really think that it matters who with going on some of my Sons past “things” that he has been with, and yes usually they take the cocaine as well.
I’m sure there are other people on here who would be able to enlighten you more.
Keep in touch and take care.
Dx
Hi Sk21,
Welcome to the Forum, it’s a great place to share your story, and you will find many other people in the same situation. Read through some of the other threads on here, there are so many people going through it, which is very sad.
I am the Mum of an addict (alcohol and cocaine), he is doing well at the moment, but it has taken a lot to get to where he is now, and he has only got here by admitting he has a problem and needed help. Until they realise they need help and want to get back their life, you are banging your head against a brick wall.
As you know taking drugs is not a cheap hobby, and money becomes the b all and end all, this is what I experienced with my Son.
Please don’t think your awful for sharing your story, I hope you feel better for sharing, I know I did.
Please take care of yourself and think about what you want more, because I’m afraid to say that most of the time they only think of themselves.
The Icarus Trust is another place that you might find helpful.
Take care
Dx
Hi JEM,
Not random at all, it’s good to put your thoughts down and I for one really appreciate your kind words.
Like you, I am not complacent, but the good days are the best, and it’s so nice to see them laughing, being able to chat with them is great and spending some quality time too.
It’s really nice not to have that constant knot in your stomach too. Long may it continue.
Take care
Dx
Lindyloo,
There are very good people in the world.
Thinking of you and everyone tonight.
Dx
It’s so hard sometimes to know what to do. It’s nice to hear from people like you, I know everyone is not the same, but at least it gives an idea of what you are going through.
My Son took me out for lunch today, paid for it and we had a really nice time. We can chat now and not having the lies is wonderful.
My problem is, that I worry too much and get myself into such a state, I believe that I am suffering from anxiety because I’m over thinking everything, I really don’t want to go down this road. I don’t want to put pressure on my Son, and this is really not me. I am usually such a strong person but I think the last few months are taking their toll now, but talking about it and putting it on here really helps.
I hope you continue to do well and keep in touch on here, it’s such a good place to be able to put all our thoughts.
Take care.
Dx
Hi Jayhissay,
You sound like a wonderful person, such kind words to Bump, I hope he reaches out to you.
Take care.
Dx
Hi Bump22,
Glad your son was found, and staying somewhere safe tonight. Hopefully he will realise how nice and comfortable he can be and reach out for further help.
Thinking of you.
Dx
Hi Knupssy,
Welcome to the Forum, where you will find helpful advice from people in similar situations.
I am the Mum of an addict, although good at the moment, you never know.
Until he admits that he is an addict and needs help, then I would just look after yourself and your children and do what’s best for you.
It is very frustrating watching someone destroy themselves, there is help out there for them if they want it, it is the wanting it that’s the problem.
The money they spend on it is criminal, and I’m sure that as a family this could be spent on other things.
I admire you moving away, sometimes these things need to be done, I’m sure you will be happier and your children will enjoy being with their grandparents.
Keep in touch on here and read the other stories.
Take care.
Dx
Hi Mum2bOyz,
Welcome to the Forum, it’s a great place to share your story with lots of people (especially Mums with Sons), who are all in the same situation.
To have people threaten you is terrible and must be very frightening.
Cocaine turns them into people that we don’t recognise, it is an evil drug.
My Son is an addict (alcohol and cocaine), he’s doing well at the moment, has been in rehab twice.
It destroys families, my husband left over a year ago, and I think my sons behaviour contributed to him leaving, but to me that’s the easy way out, leaving it all to me.
There are lots of stories on here about Mums and their Sons, reading through these will help.
There is also the Icarus Trust that help people too.
Please take care of yourself, I know it’s really hard, keep in touch with people on here too.
Dx
Hi Bump22,
You might be able to see the last people he txt or rang.
Great that the Security man remembered seeing him.
Hi Bump22,
I hope you receive good news about your Son.
Thinking of you at this very stressful time for you.
Take care.
Dx
Hi Ivy,
I can only echo the advice from Lindyloo, take care of you first, it’s very hard when we are always putting others before ourselves and sometimes wondering why we bother.
I also have a Son who is an addict, he is doing well at the moment, but I’m always anxious when he goes out, I try very hard to not let it get to me too much, because the worrying and fretting does eventually make you ill yourself.
I don’t think we will ever understand how an addict thinks or anything, my Son tells me this.
This forum is great to share our stories and chat with people in the same situation. Read through some of the other stories. I have found the Forum to be really helpful and glad that I found it.
Take care and keep in touch.
Dx