[debc]

Hi Februarymarie,

I think they forget that we are people, all they think about is themselves and it is very wearing. He is living in my house some weeks rent free as he owed money out, lots of money, and then he moans there is nothing to eat, which is ridiculous as we have a full fridge and freezer. I’m not a violent person but he really pushes all my buttons.

This illness they say they have is starting to wear thin too. Most people who have an illness at least try to make themselves feel better.

Lindyloo, I’m so glad that you Son is doing well, at least he is trying to get better.

Take care all.

Dx

[debc]

Hi Bump,

What other threads are you trying to find? I’m not very good navigating things but sure someone can help.

I really know what you mean about the shouting and swearing, but I think my Son had drink and drugs last night, he is absolutely vile today and doesn’t give a damn how loud he is, my neighbours must dread it when he starts shouting. But he does the same when he’s not drank and taken drugs, I really think he needs to see a psychiatrist, Or I will need to see one.

Please don’t harm yourself Bump, do you have anybody close who you can talk too?

It is HELL, and I do wish I had a crystal ball to see if this will ever end, because right now I can’t see it.

Always here to chat, take care.

Dx

[debc]

Hi Lindyloo,

I have replied to Joanie, hoping that it helps.

Thinking of everyone on here, take care all.

Dx

[debc]

Hi Joanie59,

Sorry you are going through this with your Son, but you have come to the right place to get good advice and great people who will always be here to help when you want to rant.

Lindyloo has given great advice and look on the Theresa thread, it’s so good to know we are not on our own.

Your right when you say people don’t understand unless they are living the never ending nightmare too. I wouldn’t wish it upon my worst enemy.

Your Son sounds a good person and kind. If only they could see what they are doing to not only themselves but us too.

My Son is also an Addict alcohol and cocaine. He’s had a good week but by the look of him this morning he has let himself down once again. I am at the stage where I don’t really know what to say to him anymore, but instead of getting angry, I just try to be normal (whatever that is), by getting angry it just puts me in a place where I don’t want to be, so the housework is getting done very quickly today.

Please know that you are not on your own, take time for yourself and keep in touch on here.

Dx

[debc]

Hi fifikaye,

Like Lindyloo says take one day at a time.

My Son has been in Rehab, and they have to work really hard when they come out. I think Rehab gives them all the right tools to do what needs to be done, it is up to them to carry on with the good work that would have been done in Rehab.

Really they need to completely change their life, don’t go back to people who they mixed with before, stay away from places that might trigger thoughts.

I wish you luck in your journey and hope your Husband carries on the good work.

Take care.

Dx

[debc]

Hi HopelessMom (I’m sure your not),

Welcome to the Forum where you will find many people in similar situations to your own.

I think you are doing the right thing by not giving your daughter the money that will obviously be spent on drugs. I don’t know anything about Spice, but it doesn’t sound as if it does her much good by the awful things she says to you.

My Son is an addict (alcohol/cocaine), and has been for about 12 years, as you know it’s so very wearing and coping with their moods and abuse is just horrible.

If you look on the Theresa thread, you will find a few Mums with Sons who are all trying to cope with Addiction, some are doing well, which is great, but everybody is so supportive and it helps me being able to chat to people who are in the same situation.

Please take care of you and know that you are not on your own. Please keep in touch on here.

Thinking of you.

Dx

[debc]

Hi Jem,

So lovely to see someone making the effort and also being honest about his circumstances, I understand your sadness.

Take care.

Dx

[debc]

Hi Bump,

Hope you are feeling better from Covid.

Glad to hear your Son has been 12 days sober, hope he continues to do well.

I do worry about what people think and often wonder what they say, but until they have walked in our shoes they should never judge, I know some people still will. I have a few good friends who I tell everything too and I’m so glad I have them to chat too.

I sometimes wonder where it all went wrong, but can never answer it.

Hold your head up high, nobody knows what goes on inside 4 walls, luckily I have understanding neighbours who I have also told about our situation.

Take care.

Dx

[debc]

Hi nanny ger,

Sending you hugs and hope too.

Addiction is such a dreadful place to be. I know it must be hard for the addicts but for the families it is heartbreaking, and you don’t know if your doing the right thing or the wrong thing, we all try our best. I would just like to see a bit of effort from my Son, the last few weeks have been awful and although I have a long tether I sometimes feel that I am at the end of it and just feel like saying “that’s it, your on your own”, he always takes the easy way out or the only way out he knows, i really am so fed up of this life with an addict.

I hope you get some rest tonight.

Thinking of everyone on here and hoping you’ve had a good weekend.

Dx

[debc]

I would, it is your birthday after all, lol.

Propranolol is used for Anxiety. I do notice a difference when he doesn’t take his tablets. We still can’t see our Doctors face to face and I this doesn’t help at all.

I need to do more research on Hypnotherapy, I don’t want to make things worse.

Dx

[debc]

Hi Bump,

Happy Birthday to you, enjoy that glass of wine or may be 2!!

My Son takes 2 x 100mg of Sertraline and 2/3 Propanalol 40mg every morning and has been for quite a while now, he says they put him back in the room, but I think that’s only till his head starts “ticking” (as he calls it) later on.

I suggested the other night that he could may be try Hypnotherapy, I thought anything is worth a try. Has anyone had any experience of this?

He was told when he was in Rehab that his Mental Age is certainly not in line with his age, I would probably say the same. The damage they have done will be with them a long time I think.

Dx

[debc]

Hi Bump,

I really detest their attitude after they have been on a binge of whatever they call it. Feeling sorry for themselves and not having a care in the world about anyone else. It really does drag you down.

It is the families who need help, but I don’t really see much out there for us.

Hoping you’ve had a better day.

Take care.

Dx

[debc]

Hi SallyAmber7,

Welcome to the Forum. You are living a nightmare and I hope by writing it all down it has made you feel a bit better.

There are lots of people on here in similar situations. Read the Theresa thread, lots of Mums with Sons who are addicts. Personally I have found this site to be a god send, you can rant as much as you like and no one will judge you, every one is really helpful and will understand what you and your Family are going through.

Your Son will only get help when he wants too, and when people enable the addict they have no reason to want to give up, I have learnt that over many years with my Son. We think we are helping them by giving into their needs, usually money, but we aren’t really, we are just helping them to get more drugs and drink.

My Son is an addict alcohol/cocaine, I think they go hand in hand. He has just had a bad weekend, and I’m afraid I lost it with him, but really I’m wasting my breath. We are having a good week so far, but as people know that can change in an instant.

The Icarus Trust post on here too, and they will leave their contact details.

Please look after you and your family first that’s the most important thing.

Keep in touch on here and take care.

Dx

[debc]

Hi Bump,

Sorry to hear you are going through this bloody madness again, I often wonder will we ever be free of this nightmare that is addiction.

Hopefully your Son will get back on track soon, he did 7 months which was great, and I’m sure he felt better in those 7 months.

You did make me laugh when you said you enjoyed going for your smear, but sometimes it’s anything to escape.

My Son had a bad weekend as well, and I lost it with him, said lots of things that I am not proud of, but this is how it gets me sometimes, and when they say we don’t understand, that really gets to me, I often answer him by saying “if only you understood where we are coming from and hope your never in my shoes”, but it’s all about them.

I hope this is a better weekend for you.

Thinking of everyone on here dealing with addiction.

Take care.

Dx

[debc]

Hi Bump,

Never worry about moaning on here, I understand your pain. I am at that point where I’m thinking of asking my Son to leave, I have really had enough of all his crap.

I can’t believe that when they are trying to get clean/sober they are such different people, then BOOM when they relapse, brings us back to reality and I hate it.

I wish they had face to face meetings that parents could go too, think I would be there every night at the moment!!

My Son hasn’t been at work so far this week, came up tonight and he looks awful, I don’t say much as “I’m always moaning or going on”.

I hope you have a quiet night.

Take care.

Dx

[Author]

Posts