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Hi Gale,
Welcome to the Forum, it’s a great place to share your story and get other people’s opinion that are going through similar situations.
I would run like the wind, it might sound harsh, but being the Mum of an addict, I would not wish this life on anyone.
Dx
Hi Jem,
Wouldn’t it just be great if we could all sit together and get it all off our chests, and the pain out of our hearts.
I think we would be there for a long time, but would be so good for all of us.
Dx
So very sorry Ivy, I hope you are feeling a bit better today.
You said the dealers keep dealing and this is so true, they have no morals, no real consequences if they are caught, it’s a bloody joke, in reality they are killing people.
Take care.
Dx
Hi Eldex,
Welcome to the Forum. I hope by getting it off your chest you feel a little better, it’s great to share your story on the Forum.
I certainly wouldn’t be cleaning up after him, I appreciate that it is unpleasant, but next time leave it and make him clear it up.
You will need lots of support once you have had the baby, and it doesn’t sound like he will be doing this, have you anyone else who you could rely on, family? And perhaps ask them if they could come with you to the Hospital, if they allow this in these uncertain times.
Keep in touch on here and take care of yourself first.
Dx
Such a worry for you. Don’t feel bad about taking him the beer, I have had to watch my Son on one occasion when he had relapsed drink in front of me again, and I hated it and it made me feel ill, but at that time, and when they are in that frame of mind, there is not a lot you can do about it.
Can you get a spare key or do you know where he keeps it?
Always here to chat, sending you big hugs.
Dx
Hi Lindyloo,
Sorry to hear about your Son, I know how you are feeling, and it’s so very hard for us to understand why they can get so far and then it all goes wrong again. It’s so disappointing and very frustrating for us, and I know when my Son has relapsed he gets angry towards me, but really he is angry for what he has done and has to go back to day 1 again.
I have heard of that book, but have not read it. I have read The Unconscious Kid by Paul Hannaford, it’s his story about his life being addicted, it’s a very harsh read but very good, and now he delivers his story to schools, football clubs etc, warning others about addiction.
It is great to be able to come on Adfam and share our stories.
Take care Lindyloo.
Dx
Hi Kate1,
So sorry to read this, I know Addiction is an illness but sometimes you feel like shaking them and hoping that they wake up in to the real world.
Like you I used to take my Son to work, well, I used to pick him up from his then girlfriend to make sure he came home to go to work, but no offer of petrol money or much thanks, and no money after he had got paid.
It is different now, he has his own van, and works hard, but still struggles as I posted at the weekend.
I know it’s hard, but I think you need to take a step back, just for your own mental health, it is very wearing.
Until he admits he has a problem and you stop enabling him, it’s going to carry on, I don’t mean to be harsh, but I used to do exactly the same, and it was just taken for granted many, many times.
Take some time for yourself, I’m not very good at doing this, but do try and switch off, I think it helps.
Keep sharing on here, we are all here to help and chat.
Take care.
Dx
Hi All,
We’ve had one of those days today. To be honest I am fed up to the back teeth of stepping on egg shells in my own house. My Husband is no longer here, has been gone now for 2 years, I wouldn’t blame it all on my Son, but I really don’t think it helped.
We can go along for weeks, both going to work, him cooking some nights, me on others, and then suddenly he changes, and you never know when this is going to happen.
Today everything is my fault, he’s only trying to get sober and clean for me, not anyone else, hates living here with me, and on it goes. When I say he is free to leave, that’s wrong as well, I don’t care!! It is as you know very wearing and today I could throw the towel in and say live your best life, but I’m not having a life that I had before, no way.
Tomorrow of course is a new day, let’s hope a good mood comes with it.
He’s just come downstairs and apologised, same shite, different day.
Sorry for the rant ladies, but I know it’s so hard for all of us and hopefully one day it will all change ????
Take care everyone.
Dx
Hi Delia,
Welcome to the Forum where there are many people in similar situations.
There is lots of helpful advice on here, the Icarus Trust also post on here at times and you might find it helpful to talk to them.
I really feel for you, it must be so sad for you not to be able to spend time with your Mum because of your Dads drinking, it is no fun living with someone with addiction problems.
Keep in touch on here, remember you are not on your own.
Take care.
Dx
Hi LilGunner,
You sound a wonderful friend to your mate, they do need lots of support and to know you are there for him will help him enormously.
Take care
Dx
Hi Danman83,
Keep that positivity going, be strong and always know there is someone to talk too.
One day at a time, you got this ????
Take care
Dx
Hi Danman83,
Please don’t beat yourself up about relapsing, you have helped so many people on here and we are all supporting you and your journey.
Take time for yourself now, you know what you need to do and you have done it. My Son tells me that it is harder to get yourself going again after a relapse, but be strong and positive.
I hope you can get back on good terms with your girlfriend and family. I understand her anger and probably disappointment but we have to realise that addiction is an illness and needs supporting.
I had wondered where you were and have been thinking of you.
Good luck today with your face to face meeting.
Keep in touch on here, you have helped us and we are here to help you.
Take care.
Dx
Bump 22 – brilliant that your Son is doing well, long may it continue ????
68862 – congratulations on your Grandson, a wonderful joy.
Februarymarie – have a great weekend.
Hope everyone else is good, taking each day as it comes.
I have had my 2nd COVID jab, no side effects.
Take care everyone.
Dx
Bump 22 – brilliant that your Son is doing well, long may it continue ????
68862 – congratulations on your Grandson, a wonderful joy.
Februarymarie – have a great weekend.
Hope everyone else is good, taking each day as it comes.
I have had my 2nd COVID jab, no side effects.
Take care everyone.
Dx
Hi Smile,
Welcome to the Forum, a great place to be able to share your story and get good advice and chat with people who are in similar situations.
I am the Mum of an addict (alcohol and cocaine), doing well at the moment, but have lived through hell with him in previous years.
Do you think your partner has ever stopped taking cocaine while you have been with him? I only ask because I know they are very clever at hiding things, and alcohol is usually a big trigger for taking cocaine.
I think you have done the right thing by not being with him at the moment, it’s not a life that I would wish on my worst enemy.
Have you noticed any other changes in behaviour over the years? Lies, money problems, chatting to other women, I’m afraid these usually go hand in hand with the addiction. Please don’t think I’m being harsh, but it’s better to be aware of these things, I certainly wish I had better advice some 12 years ago.
Keep in touch on here and read other threads on the Forum.
Take care.
Dx