Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
Hi Lovemybabies,
Well done you, putting your children first is the right thing to do.
, you will feel so much better for making this decision.
Stay strong and take care.
Dx
Hi Docbriank,
Welcome to the Forum, a great place to share your story and chat to other people in similar situations.
My heart goes out to you, it sounds an awful situation for you and your children to be in. How old are your children if you don’t mind me asking? Such a shame they can’t be at school at the moment, the routine would probably do them good.
I am the Mum of an addict (alcohol and cocaine), although doing well at the moment I have lived with him in the not so good times.
I think you need to just concentrate on you and your children, they need some kind of stability in their life, and at the moment that’s all on you, which is hard when you have the worry of your wife too.
Keep in touch on here and please know you are not on your own, take care.
Dx
Hi nanny ger,
Sending you a big hug, and hoping that you are feeling ok ish.
I think you have been very strong making your decision, there is only so much that we can take, and they do say you have to be cruel to be kind, and I think that’s very true.
It’s time to take some time for yourself and take care of you.
I say to people that unless you live or have lived with addiction, they will never know the nightmare that we live with, I can only describe it as hell.
Take care
Dx
Hi Lindyloo,
Thank you, it’s not always easy as you can imagine, but I do feel that he is much more determined these days and opens up a lot more to me.
He isn’t following the 12 steps at the moment or attending any online meetings, but I am hoping that he takes up the 12 steps again very soon, I believe this is a must.
He has joined the Gym and I believe the exercise has been a massive help to him, he says his head feels so much better after he has been, he goes most nights and some mornings.
He often used to say to me that he wishes he was normal and could go out with his mates like he used too, but he knows that this would lead him down the dark road again.
He has his daughter every other weekend and in the week for tea, he is a much better Daddy now, which is great.
It’s great that you have daily contact with your Son, and it sounds as if he’s doing ok, long may it continue.
So glad that we found Adfam, it’s a great place to be able to share our stories and try and help others in similar situations.
Hope you have a good weekend too, take care.
Dx
Hi Danman83,
Well done you, a great achievement, so pleased for you. It gives us all hope.
I’m so glad that you are on this Forum, your advice has been a great help.
My Son is doing well at the moment, taking each day as it comes, and I know he is really trying, he tells me lots of things now that he wouldn’t of told me before, I think that’s progress.
Take care and keep up the fantastic work, you should be very proud of yourself.
Dx
Hi mcmurry3,
Welcome to the Forum, it’s a great place to share your story and be in contact with others that are in a similar situation.
Until your Son decides he wants to give up I don’t think there is much you can do, it has to start with him, and it must be so hard when his wife is an addict too. Do you have your Grandchild live with you? At least you know your grandson is safe with you.
Read the Theresa thread on here, there are lots of Mums with sons who are addicts, myself included, and it’s a great support.
Take care of you and your grandson first, always know that you are not alone and can always talk to people on the Forum.
Keep in touch on here, take care.
Dx
Hi Ladies,
Have been reading a.lol of your posts as I do most days. I hope things improve for our Sons.
My Son is doing well at the moment and as you will all know it is so much easier and calmer when they are somewhat free of the alcohol and drugs.
He finds it hard everyday. Luckily he holds down a job which he is good at, he has joined the Gym this week and it took him a lot to go, but he did it in the end and was so glad that he did, I think exercise is so good for them and gives them something to concentrate on. He chats a lot to other addicts in Recovery which he says helps him because they know exactly what they are feeling and fighting.
I hope you all have a good weekend, think of you all often.
Take care
Dx
Hi Ladies,
Have been reading a.lol of your posts as I do most days. I hope things improve for our Sons.
My Son is doing well at the moment and as you will all know it is so much easier and calmer when they are somewhat free of the alcohol and drugs.
He finds it hard everyday. Luckily he holds down a job which he is good at, he has joined the Gym this week and it took him a lot to go, but he did it in the end and was so glad that he did, I think exercise is so good for them and gives them something to concentrate on. He chats a lot to other addicts in Recovery which he says helps him because they know exactly what they are feeling and fighting.
I hope you all have a good weekend, think of you all often.
Take care
Dx
Hi Lindyloo,
Feel free to vent anytime, that’s the great thing about this Forum, we can, and it’s so good to know that we know what you are going through.
It always amazes me that all these people do exactly the same things, the lies, the blame, the money and numerous other things, as long as I live I don’t think I will ever understand, and it is so hard to live with sometimes.
Go outside and have a good scream Lindyloo, it’s very frustrating at times.
Take care of you, stay strong.
Dx
Hi Mum46,
Welcome to the Forum, where there are lots of great advice and lots of Mums in the same situation.
I am the Mum of an addict (alcohol and cocaine), he is in Recovery at the moment, but it was 10+ years of living hell, that’s the only way I can describe it.
There is a brilliant thread on here if you search for Teresa, there are 6-7 Mums who are all in similar situations, and it is great to be able to connect with people who know exactly what you are going through.
Keep in touch on here and know that you are not on your own.
Take care
Dx
Hi Bwjones48,
Welcome to the Forum, where there is great advice and you never feel that you are on your own.
I think that you did the right thing for you and your Son to distance yourself, I appreciate that it must hurt even after all this time.
Perhaps you need to talk to someone about your concerns about yourself, looking after you is important, have you seen your Doctor about your depression and anxiety?
The Icarus Trust is another place that you can talk to people that are experienced with different situations with people that are involved with addicts.
Keep in touch on here, never feel that you are on your own, take care.
Dx
Hi Lindyloo,
So sorry to hear about your Sons relapse, it’s so very hard for us to understand how they are feeling and what their heads are telling them to do, I don’t understand this part at all and don’t suppose we ever will, so grateful that Danman83 is on here and giving great advice and doing so well himself.
I’m almost frightened to write on here at the moment, I know that sounds strange. My Son has turned a corner the last 3 weeks, I hope I’m not tempting fate by writing on here, think that’s how it gets you.
My Son got rid of the girlfriend, she was not a good influence, she was a drinker too, he’s started an exercise programme and doing his diet, he’s cooking his own food at the moment, which is great for me, lol, he looks so much better even after such a short time but I haven’t seen him quite so determined before, so fingers crossed or everything crossed that you can, I hope this continues ????
Take care Lindyloo and hopefully your Son will get back on track very soon.
Like you I am very grateful to have this Forum.
Dx
Hi Thisdevotedheart,
Welcome to the Forum. I hope you can find some really good help on here and I think by just having a vent you will feel a little bit better.
I am not in the same position as you, but I am sure there are lots of people on here that can help.
The Icarus Trust is another organisation that could help you.
Could you go to your Mums Doctor and speak to them confidentially?
You are going through so much and at such a young age, you have your whole life ahead of you, I admire you for looking after your siblings.
I hope that you find some help soon. Keep chatting on here, it really makes you feel that you are not on your own.
Take care.
Dx
Hi Lindyloo,
So pleased for you and your Son, that’s a great achievement, long may it continue.
It does help with the Pubs being shut at the moment.
She is a nice woman, and so much better than what he has been involved with before, but I suppose we are always going to worry, I find that very hard to switch off sometimes, but I am learning.
He has got all the tools, he told me today that he spoke to one of the Counsellors he spoke to when he was in Rehab yesterday, she was a fantastic lady, we had a family meeting with her when he came home, I could of spoke to her for hours, lol, so I think I have to take a little step back and let him get on with it and hopefully do the right thing, speaking to the Counsellor was a good step.
Happy Mother’s Day to all.
Take care.
Dx
Hi Stevieb59,
Welcome to he Forum and to this thread, it’s a great place to be able to share your story and communicate with people that know exactly what you are going through, and hopefully give you a bit of hope.
I think you feel better, just being able to write it down, I know I do.
I understand where you are coming from when you say the pattern is the same and the responses.
It’s good that your Son is going to CA, at least he is doing something about it and hopefully has good support from the group.
Relapses are the worst thing, you think that it’s not going to happen again, but unfortunately it does, but if they keep trying then surely someday it will stop all together, I imagine this to be very hard work for them ????
Does your Son see his Son? My Son has a little daughter of 4, he sees her all the time and is a very good Daddy to her, which I’m thankful for.
Keep in touch on here, take some time for yourself and your wife, take care.
Dx