[dottylotty]

Something rather wonderful has happened to me this afternoon

I got out a bag I have not used for a while and found 6 of the cruel pills

Even just a few days ago I would have swallowed them straight down almost seeing them as bonus pills.Today I have kept them in my bag

All in all not too bad a day but I have taken Imodium melts,

To all of you out there ,If your journey is only just over the start line …Good luck stay strong

[dottylotty]

Imodium works very well for loose bowels

They are my new best friend!

Most OTC travel sick pills hall with the nausea

Good luck

[dottylotty]

How long do the restless legs/arms last?

This is the worst thing

I use a weighted blanket but it’s so hot I cannot bear to use it

I am so glad your journey to normality is going well

[dottylotty]

I feel that this is the time

I have always tried cold turkey because I have run out of pills

This time is different as I do have some left but this time I feel that I am in charge not the pills

If I can sleep I will have a chance

Of dealing with tomorrow

Thankyou for your lovely support

[dottylotty]

I actually feel ok

I had a wobble an couple of hours ago I felt a tad anxious but I have taken 2 pills and am laid on my bed reading which is normal for me

For some reason I feel calmer up here

I have left a pill by my bed as last night I woke up feeling quite anxious

If I can sleep I think I am in with a chance of getting through the days

Thanks for your message I feel your support through the airwaves

[dottylotty]

Afternoon Brin99,how are you ? We are all behind you. Just remember if you stumbled ,just get back up as soon as you have the strength to do so.

I got through the night but I eneded up taking 3 pills to get through .I started off with 2,but woke at 3 in a total panic and could not settle.I took another and went back to sleep.So 3 in total but the day before it was 13,so a huge thing for me.I shall attempt the same thing tonight. Regardless of how you got through the night I hope you are OK and coping as best you can.

[dottylotty]

Thankyou for your kind words it does make me feel quite teary.My disabilities mean I am quite isolated .I do know that this is a forum used by genuine people who know exactly how hard this all is.It does mean a great deal

I am upstairs ”Reading” now which is normal for me ,I have deliberately left my meds in another room and so have managed to keep to my plan of just 2 at night

I know that to those who do not have and cannot get any pills it must sound a bit half hearted but I know from past experience that the whole leg thing will send me backwards before I have even begun to go forwards but for me this is the best way forwards.

Best wishes

[dottylotty]

Hi,how are you doing ? The day is almost done ( I give up on the day at this time I blame the MG)

I have thought about you so often this afternoon . The last I heard of you ,you were thinking of a way to get some NF. I realise that when you feel so bad that my next sentence will sound truly awful,but I hope you did not.I do mean this in the nicest possible way.If yo.

Check in tomorrow ,if you feel up to it.I will be thinking of you.

[dottylotty]

I am so glad you made it.I will too,I cannot continue like this.The codeine is not stealing my money,.but it is stealing my mind

Over the last few days I have taken to reading this forum again,trying to gather strength to start the beginning of the end…againbut it IS stealing my mind.I think my GP will prescribe them forever,because my diagnosis/.health warrant them,but in my heart I know this is not what I want.

Its the constant counting and rationing of pills and working out how to make them last.

I am glad the blanket helps. The restless legs is is the single worse thing and the one that has kept me goping back for more.

Today I have taken just the 2 tablets so as to try and keep the legs still overnight.This is a (Selfish) show of solidarity for Brin99,selfish in that,I am using her fear of the withdrawals to push myself through.Maybe a little of the “If she can do it so mcan I” But if we cannot help each other then who WILL help me.

Thanks for your support

[dottylotty]

I am willing you on

I have made my mind up just to take 2 before bed to keep the legs still

I realise that I am in a better place than you ad I do have that option

I will be by your side emotionally as we both need to do this

I know how terrible you feel right now as I have been there more than once

Do the best you can right now that is better than me !!

No one here will ever judge you we have all been there

If you fall just get back up

I have rellies for dinner but I will be thinking of you

I will be thinking of you

[dottylotty]

I have never taken NP,I can take 4 c 30mg of Dihydrocodeine so I have no idea how many NP equates to 120 mg of codeine, I am guessing quite a lot

Like you I now take the stuff just to feel normal .The euphoria is long long gone

I wish I could answer your questions but as an utter failure myself I cannot

I will be thinking of you tomorrow when it hits but this time next week you could be well on your way to this nightmare being over

Be as strong as you can be

Best wishes to you

[dottylotty]

My last attempt was cold turkey (Only because I ran out and my script was 4 days away) at day 4 it was utterly dreadful .I controlled the sickness and bowel issues with Imodium and Phenegan but I could barely get out of bed and worse of all was the horrible restless legs/whole body

Maybe the next day would have been better but as soon as I had my prescription. In my hand I took 3 tablets and felt better within half an hour

What I really hate is the panic that sets in when I am down to my last 50 tablets and have a week to go before I can get more

I have to do this but summoning up the strength to do it seems to be beyond me ….

[dottylotty]

Your veryb last sentence is the one that I have been asking myself every single month for the last 6 months.Each time I have a months worth in my hand I promise myself I will begin a taper reginme “Tomorrow” and we all know when tomorrow comes !The longest I have managed is 4 days (And only because I had no codeine left. Immodium ,and Phenegran for the nausea really work,although Phenegran is not always easy to get hold off.,The absolute worst thing is the restless legs. I use a weighted blanket which helps but like everything else it only helps a little.Its the dread of what I know is to come if I give the tablets up is what keeps me taking more.

The joke of it all (Laughing bitterly) is that I genuinely have huge pain. I have both Lupus and Myesthenia Gravis,on top of that are several joint replacements.I am not making excuses,just saying it like it is.

So like you,the question is,stop today,go cold turkey and endure the horror I know will come,or do I taper,this will take a self discipline that quite frankly I do not think I have.

So,now ,or never ?

Thanks for listening.

Like you all,on the face of it I am getting on with life as best I can,but inside I die a little dose by dose…..

[dottylotty]

Sominex is excellent.I use it regularly and really rate it BE WARNED ,it does what it says on the packet and makes you sleepy !!

[dottylotty]

Have you tried a weighted blanket for the restless legs ? I got mine from that well known online shop,it cost around £30 and it did the job brilliantly.I even take it on holiday with me now.

You can do this but in order to do it,you need to be kind to yourself.I realise that this is much easier said than done.

Best wishes to you.

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