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Never be ashamed!
My goodness, we all pray and try to help our loved ones in hope they will stay clean.
Be proud that you have supported him, but also recognise you need to come first now.
I tried for 11 years to support my husband with his cocaine addiction. Also convinced myself everytime he crossed a certain time period he was in recovery. Its love! Its hope!
Nearly 2 years after losing his wife and children he’s still using! I’m relieved I walked away.
If you feel that he still has options to explore that will help him stay clean and your still strong enough I wish you luck.
It’s so hard to walk away, but put you first.
Much love x
Never be ashamed!
My goodness, we all pray and try to help our loved ones in hope they will stay clean.
Be proud that you have supported him, but also recognise you need to come first now.
I tried for 11 years to support my husband with his cocaine addiction. Also convinced myself everytime he crossed a certain time period he was in recovery. Its love! Its hope!
Nearly 2 years after losing his wife and children he’s still using! I’m relieved I walked away.
If you feel that he still has options to explore that will help him stay clean and your still strong enough I wish you luck.
It’s so hard to walk away, but put you first.
Much love x
How are things?
How are you doing?
Marcos007
You are on the wrong forum. This is for families and loved ones of addicts.
If you need support for guidance for addiction you need to explore other sites. There are plenty.
Your making more excuses. Glamourisng drug dealing.
Justifying who you deal to infuriates me. So your an upper class dealer! Well done you. What an achievement. Why the hell would you think that’s OK.
Our loved ones aren’t street addicts. They are parts of families. Sons, brothers, sisters, daughters, partners, and parents!!!!!
I hope the cartels screw you over and you end up in the worst prison. To boast about working with these people makes me believe you are just a little fish in a big pond. Let’s hope you get eaten up.
Seriously, you are in need of super help. If you think what you wrote is exceptable please leave and let us each help people that deserve and need it. THE LOVED ONES OF ADDICTS. not dealers.
Marcos007.
It’s great you can share your story and support addicts loved ones by acknowledgement of the pain addiction causes.
You openly stating your a drug dealer, make money and live the best life is an absolute insult to us all.
Without addicts no dealers, without dealers no addicts.
You personally are contributing to addicts families pain. AND your proud of that??? You were an addict, you suffered your father’s addiction. But because your such a successful Drug dealer its ok?
Good luck with your recovery, I hope you go to prison for your successful drug dealing business.
Good morning LouiseH,
I feel like I’m reading my life! We, too, had the picture-perfect life. Excellent wages, beautiful home, cars. Everyone, including family, thinking it was a perfect life. My children were privileged in so many ways, but all this meant zero to them.
They asked me why it took so long to not let their father back ( we are looking at kids under 12 here) I explained I didn’t want them to not have everything.
My daughter says it’s worth more than anything to have me back, happier, not crying or stressing. Also to not be made to lie for her Father.This breaks my heart.
The impact on them also is far more than I thought.
My now 6-year-old son doesn’t even bother to get ready to see his Dad. If and when he turns up, he goes with him. He tells me it’s because he always forgets. It’s a surprise if he remembers.
I am embracing the beautiful country we live in. My children now go to local schools and speak the language fluently. They are much happier. They have friends over, and no one’s frightened of an under the influence Dad rocking up.
Financially, I am careful. Yes, things have changed. My kids no longer attend international school, but they now tell me they hated it and alot of their extra curriculum activities!!! They love being free to communicate with their new friends and be part of the city we live in.
He does not help. We still have a home, car, eat well. But, reality is no money or possession is worth the emotional abuse of living with an active additct for me.
My husband is just a Dad (when he manages to be); we are civil.
I do not entertain his pity party, excuses, or ask any questions.
It’s a huge decision, and hopefully, your loved one, will make a change to keep his family. Please remember this is his addiction and you can not fix him! Also, always remember, everyone’s breaking point is different and how you deal with it is the best way for you.
I would never say to anyone, Leave!! because it’s not that simple. Just always put you and your children first. He is a grown man and needs to take responsibility for himself.
Take care; I pray it changes for you. Hope to speak soon xx
Marcos007.
It’s great you can share your story and support addicts loved ones by acknowledgement of the pain addiction causes.
You openly stating your a drug dealer, make money and live the best life is an absolute insult to us all.
Without addicts no dealers, without dealers no addicts.
You personally are contributing to addicts families pain. AND your proud of that??? You were an addict, you suffered your father’s addiction. But because your such a successful Drug dealer its ok?
Good luck with your recovery, I hope you go to prison for your successful drug dealing business.
I’m so sad to read this thread, in many ways.
I had been following your recovery.
I’m pleased you are back on track.
Hello,
I’m so sorry that you and your children are going through this.
In my experience .. No! I too am still searching for recovery successes.
Cocaine addiction is soul destroying for the addicts loved ones.
Over a decade I tried to support my husband. We are separated now. (It’s the best thing I ever did… leaving) It’s so hard loving an addict, I lost myself. He destroyed me as a person. My children were suffering.
Put you and your children first. His priority is cocaine at this point. Maybe he needs to loose everything to make a change?
In my experience losing his wife and being drug tested to see his kids was still not enough to stop.
I honestly wish you success, strength and love.
Loving a Cocaine addict is hell on earth.
Stay strong xx
Hey.
I have just seen your story. I’m sorry and I hope that you and your children are ok.
This is almost mirror behaviour to my husband. I put up with it for over a decade. He is still a functioning active addict. He was prescribed antidepressants, attended c.a, had a sponsor. Two lots of rehab (which he left) and councelling.He manages 6 to 8 weeks clean, but even our marriage breaking down and having to provide drug tests to see our children is not enough. We moved to another country and within 8 days got cocaine delivered by our furniture removals!!
Please feel free to read my story. I’m sure you will identify a pattern similar.
You have done the best thing. You need to concentrate on you and your children. It’s so hard loving an addict.
If your mental health is suffering, that will impact the children and day to day living.
Leaving them is hard, but its way better than watching the person you love slowly kill themselves, destroy you and your kids lifes.
I read very little recovery stories for cocaine. I see mostly lapse, relapse after relapse. Working with addiction (which I no longer could, my husband made me feel like a shit counselor because I couldn’t help him) cocaine is awful. There is no medication like there is for heroin.
I hope you stay strong, look after you.
Much love x
I’m pleased that you and the kids are ok. Having a job you love will help. I’m so pleased you started work, it sounds like you worked hard to even be free to do this job!
Well…. the comedown’s are reality. The ok, over the top person is the addict; over compensating.
You sound like you have hit a point of progress for your acceptance of his addiction. Sadness is better than pity or trying to fix him. He isn’t quite ready to even work on himself.
Stay positive. You have your kids, work will occupy you and hopefully rebuild your confidence and open new opportunities for you for future goals and friendships.
Make sure you rest and make happy memories with those little ones. Xx
Oh Bailey 33 I hope that you are ok?
How are you feeling? Did he return?
I hope your new job is going well and the kids are also OK.
Big hugs and much love.
Bless you. Do what’s best for you. Its very hard not to worry or give in when you love a person. Sleep is essential for you to cope.
Maybe you are still a little bit in denial… cocaine addiction and the impacts on their loved ones is destroying. We all just deal with it the best way we can.
I hid my husbands addiction and the true impacts for years. I lied to myself the damage he had done to us as a family. I am stronger, but I’m not sure I will ever recover from what his addiction has done to me as a person.
I know I’m happier not dealing with it! I’m sad losing the man I loved so much. But he became the addict more than my husband.
I refuse him access to the kids if he shows up (when he remembers) with any symptoms. I also request a drug test everytime. He refuses most occasions and doesn’t come. I never tell the kids if he’s due to visit and to be honest they never ask for him. (When he was clean, he was a decent Dad).
All 4 have said they like it better with him not here. There’s no atmosphere, no erratic mood swings. I don’t even feel as lonely as I did when he was here.
I’m not blamed or called names or attacked. I sleep a bit better.
Please remember you are being impacted by his addiction, so your journey is no easier than mine or anyone else’s. Your just dealing with it your way.
Sleep! Rest! Look after you xx