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Same, im still holding out. Over the years i think maybe this year & another year goes past. I only think theres a handful of addicts that conquer addiction. Addiction dont just damage the addict its damaging for everyone around them.
I dont want sound all doom & gloom but ive changed loads & im not the bubbly person i used to be because im emotionally drained, i just put on a brave face for our kids & my family that dont know that hes a druggy xI used to go to his one to one appointments but after a few relapses i said its best he goes on his own because i felt with me being there he was just saying things he thought i wanted to hear.
I also had one to one sessions with a counsellor there that helped abit but the funding stopped.
He does have clean periods he is more of a dabbler than a flat out junkie, hes also on methadone so he doesn’t get ill. He works & provides & is a good person/dad. Its the lies, deceit & untrustworthiness thats ruined our relationship. Hes excuse everytime is hes a good person but has a problem!Hi leigh,
Im in a similar situation, my partner is a functioning heroin addict. Any drugs offered he’ll take, his sister & brother are also addicts. He doesnt stay away from other druggies either. Im not a user and ive got to the point where i cant stand him. I have finally realised no matter how much i try to help or think he’ll actually change deep down i know hes not ready to change & half the time i think he says things just to shut me up. Ive been with him 19yrs 12 of them hes been an addict. Im looking into having a life without him, I don’t think its going to be easy but anything is going to better my situation. There might be a support group for you in your area, they do help to some extent. Good luck!Hi ive been with my partner 15yrs & have with 2 boys (8 & 12) with him. We briefly split up 8yrs ago for a few months. When we got back together he was addicted to heroin & it took a year to find out. He got on a methadone programme which he regrets cause he said the amount of heroin he was doing it would of been easier to cluck (withdraw). Hes still on methadone now. He works 50 hours a week & provides for us. Dont be fooled that being on methadone will stop him using but it gives him more of a stable life with getting on back on the right track. It’ll be more of a choice to use or not. Good luck its going to be a long road. X
Hi. I was the same, I have posted afew times & was surprised at what I read. You say everyone says run for the hills… I presume that hes known as an addict to others. Where my partner isnt only to other addicts. Since I last posted I have been round to a dealer & paid £200 debt that could of brought Christmas presents I obviously had my say aswell. I now have the bank card where his wages go in & hes gone up on his methadone. (Apparently) he hasnt used for 3weeks. He said if he uses on this amount its cause he wants to not cause hes ill. I still dont trust him & never will but im looking forwards now not backwards like I used to. Has your husband been an addict since you’ve been together? Take care x. P.s I get an email when someone adds a post no matter how long its been.
To cant take no more & cazandyx… thanks for your comments. It makes so much sense. Our children are 8 & 12. I asked my 12 yr old “what do you think about drugs?” He said “its not good its stupid”. I left it at that, I thought if he knew about his dad that would of prompted him to say something. My partner is on methadone thats what annoys me, he uses on top. Plus it seems all the users he knows know not to tell me so it feels like they think im stupid. I know hes not a bad person & he actually says that. Hes just gota problem. We’ve had 100s of chats about it. I support him but I get frustrated cause he has gone 8 weeks with out heroin he says he “dabbles” he cant help it. Its a secret to his work & non using friends. He works nights so he looks tired alot of the time & he uses that to his advantage. I suppose knowing he takes heroin but i dont see him use I imagine allsorts. I dont want that phone call either. Ive said if he dies through anything heroin related I wont go to his funeral cause it was self inflicted selfishness.
Hi, obviously you want to believe him but why should you. Ive got to the point now that I feel im always right. Weither hes used or not to me he has I just cant prove it. I used to hunt round the house like a mad women searching for cling film, wrappers. Panicking
whilst doing it. I ended up addicted to catching him out. Everyone he is associated with apart from the
people he works & 99% of his family are addicts of
some kind mostly heroin & crack. I was happy like you said & now im not thats why i looked for somewhere
to share my life really. Im new to this forum & its
shocking to find identical situations thats why I joined.
The annoying thing is if someone I knew was in my situation I would say run for the hills you deserve to be happy but being in it yourself is whole different ball game. Take care now xIcarus trust. Ive had sessions myself separate from his ones. It did help at first learning the cycle etc but I found reading forums better for me personally. Thanks.
Sk thanks for your reply. Thats so right! He always tells me what he thinks I what i want to hear like if he didnt work hed go to rehab because its funded & we cant afford it otherwise or he’ll take 2 weeks off work to do a cluck. From the outside we look like we’re in a”normal” relationship but like you said we’re broken. Ive even had dealers cross the street cause I used to lower myself to have a go at them. I try not to mention heroin but I dont want him to think ill ever be ok with it. Thanks x