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Hi I too have a drug addicted son. He has bled me dry for money for years. I have recently cut him off. I am semi retired and have 3 kids all grown up. He being my youngest is 32 years old. He knocks me up in the middle of the night demanding money. Also lies saying no food or petrol. 2 weeks ago over the course of the previous month he borrowed 600 pound for food and all bills. He promised me he would give me some back out of his dole. Dole day he said he needed it more than me. He then tried to knock me up at 2.30 in the morning on my pay day. Until they want help truly I think you have got to stop enabling. My son has cried says he will stop. Then conned me out of money again and again. For pur own sakes we have to say no more. But it hurts badly
Hi cornwallmother2020
Welcome to a great page, full of people who know exactly what your going through and give advice through experience. Sorry to hear your troubles February marie, you must be at your wits end with everything. I am thinking of you and as always stay strong
Hi everyone.
I havent been on for a while, If you remember my last post was that I was feeling guilty as I had booked a holiday and my son had asked to live with me to help him keep his job, and I was worried he’d lose it when I was away. Well it lasted a week before I went away. He went to work came home and went out and came back late. Wanting me to leave the door open till all hours. Obviously we had words and he stormed out. He then didn’t go to work and then rang me the day before my holiday asking me to leave the door open so he could stay here while I was away. For once in my life I was strong and said no. I told him he was 32 and shouldn’t need his mom to get up for work, he was his usual abusive self told me I was horrible wanted him to fail and slammed the phone down. I actually didn’t feel guilty as why should I go on holiday worrying my house is open.and he probably wouldn’t have gone to work anyway. When I came back from holiday which I enjoyed and had a good rest, he rang me to say he had been given another chance at his job but agreed he couldn’t live here. I told him I was no longer helping him with money to feed his habit and he needed to leave me alone as I had a long time to think about everything and was not standing for his behaviour anymore. Let’s see how long I can last. Sorry to hear about your sons relapses I know the feeling of 4 days that’s how long my son goes before I know where back on the drugs. I would like to thank you all for advice that is on here, your making me stronger and helping me to stick up for myself. We are all stronger than we think, we have been through so much.
Hi everyone, thank you for your replies I will take them on board and try stop my guilt.
Hi Debc.
Just to say I also found that helpful about how would you treat a friend. My son has asked to stay with me as he starts a job Monday and said he will get up and go if he is with me. I have said yes as long as he goes to work. The problem is I go away for the first time in 7 years for a week in 2 weeks. Now I am already feeling guilty if he doesn’t go while I am not here. I know he will say it was my fault if he loses the job. But what would I do if it was a friend, well I know I wouldn’t feel guilty and my son is 32 but it’s hard
Hi imaginedragon.
The blood in his vomit maybe trauma in his throat from continually heaving to be sick. Not sure about the other symton of blindness not heard of that before. If he will go to hospital he would benefit from a chest xray. To rule out infection. The Dr listening t9 his chest can hear crackling and any popping in the lungs which can indicate an infection. I am a semi retired nurse so have a little knowledge on chest infections, my only knowledge of cannabis is the psychological effects, anxiety and aggression. Hope that helps a little
Kate1.
Well done I am sure you will help people who need it. I take my hat off to you. Wish you success and a degree of happiness after all you’ve been through
Hi Debc
It is frustrating and I also feel my son is running my life. If I don’t hear from him I worry and when I do its for money. Its sad but I make the most of not hearing from him.
Debc, I know how you feel about the hate, I think its natural as you get fed up of being let down and lied to and no effort being put in. I Don’t see my son changing he has had lots of chances.
Hi Kate1 it is always one drama to another and constantly saying I want to change but I need money cos I am in trouble. Its so hard to say no as you always have hope that this time will be the one. I get so angry and tell him I want nothing to do with him, then he pulls on my love as a mother, it’s cruel really as they are using your love against you
It’s so hard you know what you should do, but when they sit in front of you crying to help them. You do then have hope again. To the next time you realise you’ve been manipulated again and enabled them again.
Joanne59
Thank you for thinking of me when your suffering yourself. I hope you get well soon, and so pleased your son is doing well. Its lovely to know there are people here to talk to God bless you all
Hi Penny M
Sorry but that wouldn’t work. I sent him a long txt to tell him how I felt and what he was doing to me, and how he was causing me anxiety. He rang me up shouting saying it was my fault I had anxiety I do it to myself. He’s not as bad as I make him out to be. And that I am a sad lonely old woman who no one likes and says even your own kids don’t want to talk to you. I have told him they don’t speak to me because of him. And he says why I havent done anything its what you tell them. Nothing is his fault its all mine according to him. I see your point it is easier to write it down but tried and failed. I am going to work at the one step at a time and stick to no money as that is my down fall. I keep giving in
February marie
Your so right my other son thinks it’s simple just stop giving money, I’ve tried so many times, he always comes up with something to make me feel guilty or threatens to do something if I don’t give in. I don’t sleep well as I worry he will turn up in the night I now suffer with anxiety he is my trigger. I need to beat this and not give in. I didn’t realise until I came on this forum how wide spread it is. Not that I want this to happen to anyone but it good to know there are people who are going through or have been through the same.
Thank you for your kind words. It has helped reading everyone’s comments. I know I have to be strong and not give anymore, you never think this would happen to you. That your child could do this. I find that my son is on my mind from the minute I get in bed and my first thought when I wake up. I need to stop this and concentrate on myself. It doesn’t help I live alone so don’t have anyone to share this with. My partner died young and I have never remarried.