Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
It is and i feel for you – you never chose to be an addict, its not something you choose its a disease, its so so heartbreaking and i really do feel for you.
Good luck – your wife will be ok, you can do this, I can tell you want it.
come on here and chat if you need to.
wishing you lots of strength xxx you and your wife
Louise – how are you doing? how did things turn out in the end?
The sad thing is, I read through these and really feel for you all – they need more support groups for people living with addicts etc as its so impossible to understand and I have felt so lost and confused at times – as most of the people are that have just realised their loved one has an addiction.
I thought me screaming and shouting and threatening to walk would stop the cocaine use, but the sad truth is, he can have the strongest possible love for you but that will come first and its devastating. In the end you realise this too.
My mum said to me walk and told me time and time again – this will happen again and it did and i learnt the hard way.
Janette as you said yourself you know nothing about drugs – so you probably wont realise now but it might be worth reading up on addiction and stuff and go through some of these forums and peoples experiences.
I am glad he has gone to the doctors to seek help – the thing is, you need to stop giving him money – as itll be for drugs.
I wish there was a miracle cure, honestly I do.. i have watched hours and hours of youtube videos on this and i still dont get it, its so sad.
Let us know how you get on in the next couple of weeks but all I will say Janette is that addicts lie and manipulate to feed their addiciton, he will start an argument for nothing so he can go out and use – so bare that in mind, it absolutely comes before anything and everything, kids, marriages etc – dont be fooled and dont be naive. This is from personal experience, dont do what i did.. you want to believe it and its hard, stay strong and remove yourself from the situation and come on here for advice, get some drug testing kits from Amazon and test him.
xxx
I have been your wife.. it is the hardest thing ever to deal with, but she will deal with it – my partner is doing what you did – going to meetings, he desperately wanted help and he got it and hes doing so well and its made us even stronger.
I am so proud of him now and if you get through this and come out the other side youll both be stronger than ever.
Dont take what she says personally, I used to get angry and say horrible things as i didnt understand. I didnt mean it though, i was just hurting.
What help are you seeking? how much were you using? how long have you been clean? does she have support?
Loz – dont beat yourself up about it, youre bound to relapse at some point, its a normal part of recovery. Get back on track – I would personally avoid going out and drinking. Detach yourself from anyone/anywhere that potentially could cause you to relapse.
You went 3 weeks without it which is amazing.. you can do this, go to the doctors and get some help and go to support groups thatll help.
Get a hobby, read, go to the gym – avoid social situations where coke is likely to be present – just until you feel you have control.
Good luck x
She goes out and gets you the cocaine? when you say easy access – you need to remove everything to do with it, all your contacts, any friends who do it, any social media – your wife needs to support you and not buy it for you – to me thats ridiculous but i dont fully know your situation.
I really feel for you – how much are you using? do you tend to use evenings only?
You can’t.. the only person that can help him is himself.
He needs to fully take charge and go to the GP and beg for help – my partner did, he got help and they will try send him to support groups therapy etc. x
Bless your heart – that is horrendous.
I think he needs rehab, a proper unit and full time help – he seems to be pretty deep and these CA/AA meetings dont help.
They didnt help my partner, I really dont know what to say, I feel so sad for you, as i know the feeling – the trust, the person you love slowly fades away.
You need to do what you think is best, walking away from someone you love is so hard but in the long run it may be best for you and your daughter.
Addiction is so sad and confusing for the person who isnt addicted, it tears lives apart doesnt it. My partner is going through Anxiety/addiction counselling at the moment he pays 60 per hour and its working.
He tried CA and the group meetings but i think it actually made him worse as they were all using.
Good luck my love xx
Go to doctors and explain all this – my partner did and hes getting addiction counselling etc and its working
good luck
bless you – thats so hard.
I think if he isnt willing to get help this is best for you, he will lie and try and manipulate when he comes down and back to reality.
you dont deserve to be treated this way and its best you and your kids are out of this.
it will become better, every day as time goes by.
I promise this x
you telling him if he doesnt stop he will lose you wont make him stop – believe me i have been there.
Janette132.. the sad sad truth is that drug addiction is so complicated, it becomes before everything. If i was 6 months in and found out about my BFs addiction i wouldve run a mile.
All i would say is, dont be naive, understand that youll never be able to force him to get help, he really needs to want it.
Addiction is a disease and it must be so hard for them to give up and stop – i can see that people tell you to leave him but with my experiences and the hell i have been put through first hand – my advice would be absolutely walk away now, you will have this for years to come.
Trust goes, you will live a life of anxiety and let downs.
good luck with it all whatever you decide to do, i hope he seeks help asap.
Hey Dan, was thinking about you last night actually – wondering how you were getting on.
What happened then? how did you end up running into coke?
whats the story, just get back on track – dont beat yourself up too much.
A part of recovery is relapsing – remember that, you will get there, how come she made you go out? bless ya
xx
oh gosh, bless you, sending you lots of love..
all will be ok in the end, stay strong x
Hi LemonySnicket,
Do you know for sure he has been clean for 18months? a lot of the time they lie and manipulate and the addiction and drug abuse continues behind your back, they are great liars. You cant just switch it off and not have a drug addiction – once its got you you seriously need to invest on getting out of it or it gets you and consumes your life and everything in it.. have a read through some of these threads, they do help a lot and help you realise what addiction can cause and how it changes people..
I would do what is best for you and your children most definitely. As its sad but
It is so sad, as addiction is a disease after all.. but sometimes you have to be selfish and think of yourself. Sounds like he is not in a good place, to have that amount of debt, his addiction must have been really bad.
It will be hard but in the end of it, youll be stronger – a lot of us have loved and lost the person we fell in love with. It completely changes people eventually and sometimes you have to walk away.
Youve come to the right place though, we all talk and support eachother on here.. it helps me a lot. And its people who are addicted and people who are loved ones of addicts so the advice is great.
xxx
Dan it makes me smile reading your posts. You should be proud, go for it. Write a book. Who cares if your grammar isn’t great I think you’ll get there.
Your girlfriend probably doubts you’ll stick to it, she probably doesn’t mean it. In her head she’s probably waiting until the next time. I do the same thing. Don’t take it personally.
My boyfriend just come in from counselling, he’s so positive about it I’m happy for him and I pray to god if there is one that he has the strength to stick to this. He doesn’t drink either, he’s stopped both as it was always one or the other.
Luckily I’m not a drinker myself really it makes me sick so I don’t mind.
I like thriller and crime books. Have you got Netflix? You should watch the ted bundy documentary on there it’s brilliant.
Well done everyone btw – you should all be proud in 1 way or another. Xxxxx