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Hi, I am new to this forum too, as the wife of an alcoholic seeking support.Sadly, after reading your post, I do think your daughter in law is an alcoholic.The giveaway is the classic having a drink first thing in the morning, and she obviously knows she has a problem, why else hide it in a cup?
I wish I could tell you some magic way to cure her, but I can’t.Have you spoken to your son about your worries? He may need your support.
Best wishes and good luck!
Reading your post, it could be a mirror image of my life! My husband of 42 years has been an alcoholic for the past 15 years, twice having being in intensive care due to alcohol related illness.But still he refuses to die.The doctors don’t know how he is managing to survive.One time when he was in ICU he attacked the doctors and nurses due to hallucinations from alcohol withdrawal, it took 7 people to hold him down to medicate him.Understandably he is not popular with hospital staff, but the junior docs are also really unpleasant to me, as though I am responsible for his condition. I expect as they are so overworked they see him as a drain on resources( I agree!!) but I don’t know why I have to bear the brunt.Consultants, obviously older and wiser have always been lovely.
Interestingly, my husband has never said he wants to stop drinking, and has never said he is sorry to any of the family.It is always somebody else’s fault for his need to drink..
There is no hope.
I can’t afford to leave him, although it would certainly be the best thing for me as I feel my life is being frittered away and my own mental and physical health is suffering.It would probably be the best for the family too, as I think if left unchecked he would drink himself to death.
I tried visiting an AA family group, but to be honest found the focus was more on the alcoholic than on me!
Thank you for letting me post and rant on here, I have only just joined,it feels good to get it off my chest, as normally it’s kept “secret” and within the family.