[Green30]

I wrote a letter to my husband to. It’s been sitting in my email drafts for a week. I told him how I felt today but I’m not sure he took it seriously.
I don’t know whether to walk away for good, or just for a while or just try and stick it out and help him. This is so hard. How do you cope with this

[Green30]

It’s nice not to feel so alone in this. Just found out my husband has started smoking weed again. I know that may not seem bad to some but he ended up in rehab after starting on crack and heroin too and hadn’t taken drugs for almost 20 years. Now I find the old friend he got weed from has messaged asking if he wanted to make extra money! He made his excuses and declined. But I don’t want him being dragged back into the circles he moved in. He’s always known drugs were a hard no for me. I’ve calmly explained how it’s made me feel and that it’s making me not trust him. I don’t really want to say it’s me or the weed but really it is. Am I selfish for that. I don’t know. We all need to look after ourselves though

[Green30]

I guess I just don’t know if I can give him the support he needs in this situation

[Green30]

Thank you for your advice and thoughts.

I have tried and continue to try to help my husband at times to my detriment.

We know what triggers his mental health and we are working on those things, nothing that can be changed overnight unfortunately. I have helped him seek help from his GP, he has had counselling, tried different medications. Believe me I have stood by him consistently facing years of verbal abuse and attempting to manage the effects on my own mental health whilst caring for family members and suffering a bereavement. I don’t think there is anything else I could do for him. I ask him if there is and he often tells me what I can do to help him.

I cannot force him to seek any particular treatment. His current GP seems good, much better than the last and they have built up a good rapport.

Should things follow the same path as they did in his life previously, I cannot afford to get him into rehab and mentally I don’t think I can cope.

I do remember my vows but he has lied and kept this information from me. I know being with someone who used drugs was not something I wanted or could deal with which is why I made it clear at the beginning of our relationship. How do I help him and take care of myself at the same time. He has broken my trust and I now question where he is, what he’s doing etc. (not to him, just in my head) but it will in time affect our relationship. I haven’t forgotten the good in him. I’m just at a loss. I don’t want to hurt him or make things harder for him but I deserve love and care too

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