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Hi thank you for sharing its so hard to do. My personal experience with 111 was unsatisfactory I’m afraid they told me to contact my GP who was also no help. You could try addiction helper they helped me and my hubby but as soon as he came out of rehab the next day he was on the booze again. It is so tiring being in an alcoholics bubble, not to mention mentally draining, and all anxiety added on top for good measure. Good luck sweetie. ????????
Hi Daisy thank you for sharing your story it’s never easy pouring your heart out. I can relate to a lot of your experiences and your thoughts and feelings. You managed to cope with so much throughout your relationship with your true love and a lot of people wouldn’t have done that. It is crusifying to watch a beautiful person deteriorate before your eyes, and know the consequences and at the same time know you’re powerless where the alcohol or drugs are concerned. Please don’t beat yourself up with regards to your last text. You were at the end of your tether. Everyone has a breaking point, and you had reached yours. To move forward you need to forgive your partner for putting you through all what you went through on their alcohol journey. You also need to forgive yourself for that text (even though you didn’t do anything wrong). My hubby past 16 months ago now to alcoholism and I didn’t know how I would manage without him. I felt like I had been thrown on a road with so many pot holes amd speed bumps and one massive mountain at the end. I had no idea how I would manage to do this journey on my own. I did some research and found a wonderful charity called The Icarus Trust. I received 6 months counselling free of charge. The beauty of these counsellors are they have all been affected by their loved ones through alcohol or drug dependency. They understand. Maybe you could try them sweetie. With my counsellors help I now know I don’t need to climb that mountain, I can drive around the base. Doesn’t matter how long it takes, I feel I can make it. As will you. My ???? are with you and your mum and I wish you all the best. If you want to private message me you can. Take care. HEARTY.
Hello curly c, I am so sorry for your loss. I know exactly how you are feeling. I lost my husband a few wk ago to alcoholism. Cruse wasn’t really helpful for me. You need someone who truly understands alcoholism, the journey we go through as their loved ones and family and someone who understands we start a recovery ourselves once we have lost our alcoholic. I have approached icarus Trust and have spoken with a lovely lady there twice and I feel she will be able to help me. It’s not limited to 6 sessions. It will be for as long as I need she said. What I learnt during my time with my husband is that the alcoholic feels they wouldn’t live without alcohol. They feel they are the lowest of the low for hurting their loved ones. They feel guilt, anger at themselves for not stopping, but feel they would die without it. Your brother would have loved all of you, because he didn’t stop doesn’t mean he didn’t love you. I believe my husband loved me as much as he was able to. I know he hated himself when he saw me in tears. He tried to get sober twice by going to rehab but relapsed. He had too many demons he couldn’t live with them sober unfortunately. The alcoholic does go into a denial to cope. To live day by day. Please try the icarus Trust see if they can help. I know how heart broken you will be feeling as I am too. I sit some days just thinking, why? Why couldn’t you just stop? That’s all he had to do stop picking up a bottle. Life his so hard. I pray you find the help and support you need. Hugs
I hope he does too if that is going to help him. I can imagine how you feel waiting for a marriage and then it ends like this. Your husband has to reach his rock bottom, if he has one, before any recovery can be successfully made by him. It will take you a long time to repair yourself. I’m totally broken and have a lot of work ahead of me. You are much stronger than me, I could never leave my husband as my vows to God prevented me. Good times and bad, sickness and in health and all that. If only I were stronger, I wonder, would he be alive today? I wish you the very best in the future.
Hi, I have been exactly where you are. It doesn’t matter how hard you try, it’s him that needs to change and try harder. No matter what you do, support, etc he needs to accept he has a problem with alcohol. That is very very hard to accept. It took me years to accept I couldn’t help my husband. I stood by him though and he died 6 wks ago and I am heartbroken. My friends don’t understand how I can miss him with what he’s put me through, but I knew the real person inside who was struggling with his demons. I was his main carer in the end. He suffered. The life a chronic alcoholic leads is not easy. Nor is their main supporters life. I totally understand where you are.
Mary Poppins 23. My husband was an alcoholic and I lost him 6 wks ago. I became his main carer in the end. His family had given up on him but I stood by him. I am heart broken. He had so many demons he couldn’t come to terms with. He did go to rehab twice and relapsed both times. He was never abusive when under the influence which was every day. He suffered with abdominal hernias caused by ascites and would vomit more or less on a daily basis. The alcoholic has no easy life. I find myself thinking, if I had been stronger and left him, would he have stopped but I don’t think he would have. I miss him, daft right? How can I miss all the stress and angst that goes with living with a chronic alcoholic? But I do miss him. The man inside who I married 35 yrs ago.
Hi your post took me back 8 years when my husband was drinking heavily and came out of rehab and relapsed. That was 8 long years ago, and 6 wks ago he died from decompensated alcoholic liver disease. I am heart broken he was only 54. What a waste. If I knew 8 yrs ago what was ahead of us I would have left. It is a terrible, terrible disease and I pray for you and your hubby that he finds sobriety and you have the strength to cope.