[heyblondie84]

<p style=”text-align: center;”>Hi all. I hope people can still see this thread. I’ve only just found this site after losing my husband last November. I can relate to so many of your comments. We were childhood sweethearts, together for 24 years, married for 13 and had 2 kids. His drinking had been an issue on and off throughout our whole relationship but the last year or so really took its toll. In the last year his drinking increased massively and his mental health deteriorated. It got to the point where he would go missing for days on end, spending all our money and borrowing more knowing he could never pay it back. The trust was gone as the lies he told consumed his life. It was like living with 2 people, my best friend and a complete stranger. I still have so many unanswered questions that I will never know the truth about. Near the end he was trying to get help with several local services but unfortunately he was let down time and time again. He took an overdose and I think he didn’t ever stand a chance of surviving due to the damage the years of drinking had already done to his body. I go from feeling numb to such a huge range of emotions that totally knock the wind out of me. I go over everything over and over again wondering if I could have done more or if it was my fault.  I’m trying to stay strong for the kids and build a new life for us but I don’t know where to start or if I will ever feel happiness again.  I never imagined a life without him and it’s hard to come to terms with that. Thanks for listening.</p>

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