I am very very sorry to hear of all the pain and suffering alcohol has caused everyone here. It sounds like many of the hubbies aren’t able to stomach abstinence and feel so bad already about not being able to quit they might not even try abstinence. In our family someone who really struggled with heavy daily drinking was able to become a normie by taking the medication naltrexone an hour before drinking and redosing the medication if the drinking continued. It took about two years and the drinking dissipated gradually. It was a drink to extinct program and when compared to white knuckle abstinence it was a big help for us. It at leasts offers people a second solution that has effectiveness of 78%. I don’t know if this might help someone but it is inexpensive about 50.00 for three months in the US. I am not in any way against abstinence (realistic rehab success rate is 10%) and if anyone is able to stop drinking this is obviously amazing. However, the naltrexone option might get someone who has failed AA or won’t start with no drinking at least headed towards recovery. Claudia Christian is a huge proponent of The Sinclair Method, she has a TED talk and a movie called One Little Pill. I send love to all who are suffering and hope this can help someone.