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You are right I need to go out and start living my life. I have accepted an invitation from a few old school friends who want to catch up, They have probably heard the gossip and want it from the horses mouth, but I don’t mind. It is a step in the right direction as I didn’t make excuses.
You have both put that episode away Dan. Start to trust.
Husband rubs it on his gums too.
I’m the wife of a cocaine ‘user’
It helps me reading your explanations for using. I can fully understand why. I can then try and understand ‘husbands’ behaviour toward me and let him push me away totally.
Thanks for explaining about the enjoying life. Cocaine has taken away enjoyment in our lives he honestly doesn’t seem to understand the word now.
Most of my family and friends know nothing of our situation. It’s lonely.
The call he made to you at work you didn’t deserve trying to keep you both afloat. Do you think he’s diverting onto you. The drama of you supposedly having an affair will make you think about this and not his drug taking and spending all his dole. They can lie and manipulate.
He got caught in the crossfire doing a favour for a friend. Still awaiting trial. Glad you have stopped the drinking, you need to keep yourself well.
Good that you have stopped being angry, it does us and them no good. I’m glad your husband is benefiting going to CA.
Husband hasn’t moved out yet. I’m constantly on edge. I’m anxious when he comes home and the same when he’s out. I dread coming home from work and he’s here but worry when he’s out till the early hours. There is no escape from these feelings, I have no peace.
I talk to a few close friends but they don’t know everything. I find it better revealing my feelings on here where people do understand. I’m embarrassed and feel humiliated by his actions toward me.
You take care.
Dan, why do you feel the need to go out if your gf does? Is it the lure of the coke?
How you doing Danman? Focused and plenty of books to be read?
Mine was fourteen years in when my husband chose to have cocaine problem. I fell for my husband straight away so even if it was six months in I’d still be as heartbroken as I am today.
We can only help when they admit they have an addiction and help themselves by putting their whole heart into getting off the drugs. But we are easily lied to and can be manipulated by those we love and care for. It’s on tap in our neck of the woods.
You are definitely not alone and here’s the place you can write what you feel and be understood.
Keep safe and well.
We are in a fix. My husbands friends and partners all do coke and most of his family do one drug or another and in one way or the other. It’s surprising how you don’t notice these things until they are on your own doorstep ruining your life. (My eyes are wide open nowadays and my ears are cocked) Like you say it’s on tap. I don’t drink much though, I’m not in the mood for it. I suppose it can either push you one way or the other. It is hard to get yourself out and about what with anxiety and the embarrassment of folk talking. I feel the same. I plan to do things but fail. I cannot go to the gym because folk know the both of us. (We live in a village) I’d love to go back though and I will do if he gets sent down. I am a strong person usually but this has messed me up big time. I have no one I can talk to properly so here helps an awful lot.
We will get through these bad times I’m sure.
I am aiming to focus on myself. I wish I was high maintenance. We have no children. I haven’t told family, I have told a few friends part of whats happening but it’s hard telling folk when they knew how happy we were. I’d rather keep most to myself. I don’t go out as I don’t want people he knows (coke friends and dodgy relatives) to see me. I feel embarrassed and humiliated. It’s hard to explain and hopefully over time my head will sort itself out.
It has made you stronger. You knew you would be tempted and proved yourself right. I know you are pissed off with yourself but it’s a learning curve for you and the rest of us following you on your journey. You have done two months and know you can do it.
You have worries on both sides your son and your husbands op. It isn’t your fault, cocaine addiction can be hidden by lies until the personality changes.
My husband is the same, cocaine and alcohol. I’m the only person who has suffered in all of this, the devoted wife and the closest to him. He has ruined our happy life and has admitted it fully and has said I am not to blame. He won’t admit he has a coke addiction though. Luckily we have no debt (up till now)
You are not alone and I’m so glad you have a husband that is there to support just you. I can understand him not getting involved as he has to get his operation done and dusted so that he can be there fully for you.
Keep strong for both of your loved ones.
Does sound like cocaine with dealers involved.
Problem is we cannot help our loved ones until they admit their addiction. It’s a tough one for us waiting anxiously on the sidelines, trying to be supportive but not trying to tell them what to do and what not to. My husband is the same, says he can do what he wants. Moving house wouldn’t solve the drug problem I’m afraid, you can get drugs anywhere. My eyes are wide open nowadays.
I’m also waiting for that knock on the door. Keep yourself well you are not alone.