[hox]

Yes it is painful. I have lost two dress sizes, folk say I look good, but its the stress not a diet or healthy eating. They are none the wiser. The stress is etched in my face though I am feeling older.

It has not been good for you, he’s lying it isn’t your fault he has to blame someone.

I also have the bloody tissues and numerous other ailments that are connected to cocaine but it doesn’t register. It is a miserable existence.

[hox]

No, he’s not seeing anyone else, he cannot look after what he’s got never mind have someone else. He does do all kinds of stupid stuff though. His new relationship is the cocaine and alcohol, its a full time role.

[hox]

I’m the wife of a cocaine and alcohol abuser. I feel alone too. How can anyone understand what we are going through if they haven’t been through it themselves. Before this I would never have thought this could happen to anyone. I was naive. Mine is fourteen years with no children. No intimacy and he has no emotions left. My husband says he hasn’t got a problem, I suppose he hasn’t really because he is ok in his coke addled brain. Exhausted here, sorry to be of no use. Just to let you know you are now not alone.

[hox]

Danman, Reb and Georgia, you are a lifeline and you all help so much at this lonely time. Thank you. Lets hope for peace in our hearts and minds and the same for our loved ones.

[hox]

I was teary when I read your post. thank you for confiding in us and telling of your experiences.

It is a sad time and I’m heartbroken.

I feel we are all in a bad position and need help but being on here does help me. Seeing that I am not alone and can also be anonymous too. We can tell the whole truth as we see it and not be judged or feel embarrassed.

My husband won’t admit he has a problem so I know its going to get worse with his health and then probably financial issues. I have to wait for him to admit he has a problem and try to deal with it, but I have then got to think about his mental health and his ability to accept help and what if he can’t manage it like you are experiencing. It is horrendous.

[hox]

He upped his going out and drinking I think to escape the court case. Not to escape from me as I know wholeheartedly I was never a problem for him. We were always each others rock and supported each other through everything in life. The drinking has got him down and then he quickly got on the coke. I can understand the pressure he is under. The area we live is also rife with cocaine use it’s a nightmare if you go out, it’s on tap.

He isn’t suicidal though, he’s taking big risks with his health and money.

He doesn’t want to spend time with me now, even though before all this he always asked if I minded him going out or if I’d made plans for us. If I asked him to stay in with me he would and enjoy being with me. If I reserved a table in restaurant he would be there in a shot. He would not begrudge me anything. His purpose in life was to make me, his wife happy and for fourteen years he did so.

[hox]

I’m in the same situation, husband abusing drink and cocaine. His personality has completely changed toward me because of this.

I don’t consider myself selfish because I feel I need help too, coping with him. After everything I have done for his family and him, I too have also been tossed aside. My feelings don’t matter any more it’s all about him. I have never known him so selfish and uncaring in all our married life. I feel used and feel I have been disrespected.

I too cannot sleep or eat. it’s affecting my job as I cannot concentrate. My mind never stops its on overdrive day and night.

So yes I’m in the same boat, I’m just thinking that in time I will come to hate him for what he has done to us. Bad I know but I actually cope a little better if I imagine my husband to be dead and then I can think of our wonderful life before. I can then cope with this thing that has replaced him a little better.

All I can do is hope my husband returns as quickly as he disappeared.

[hox]

I don’t think leaving would help matters. It would seem like you are running away from your responsibilities and they are toward your wife and child and of course yourself.

I’m in the same boat. I go to work and break down crying. No one knows what I’m going through. Just that I’m not the happy person I used to be. The people at work would not believe me if I told them as they knew how close my husband and I were, so I put on a mask and hide as much as possible. Hoping life will get better. I do the same to our mutual friends and family, mask on and excuses made.

Help yourself, you need to succeed then your wife will not be anxious and hopefully return to near normal. I’m saying this because if my husband came in now, gave me a hug and started to behave how he used to toward me I could start healing myself. I know I could never be the same person he married but I would be happy if I could become half the person I used to be. I’m tired, exhausted and so unhappy. The damage has been done so far but it is worth trying to get some more treasured memories.

[hox]

I wish my husband was the man I married. He could say no to the drink and cocaine at not bother with it. He never craved going out and I was never worried or anxious when he did. I always knew he’d be back and would look after the others that were using and drinking making sure they got home.

Now over the last six to seven months I’m always anxious. When he goes out, when he stays in, when I go to work, when I leave the house and go to the shop.

I can’t support my husband because he genuinely feels he hasn’t got a problem. If he did I would be there to support him through thick and thin. His cousin is on the coke all day and everyday. He talks about him saying he doesn’t know why he does it. But he does more than enough o be considered an addict himself.

We wanted a family but it’s probably best now that we couldn’t. I’m anxious now, but imagine if we had had children. It’s bad enough the way he treats me. I go from loving him to hating him for what he’s doing to us.

[hox]

We have had a wonderful marriage for fourteen years.

It suddenly changed in June last year. Said he felt like he was a different person, he wasn’t the same any more.

He took coke once or twice a year three years ago. He didn’t go out often and would refuse a line.

We have had a bit of a stressful time over the last two years with a court case keep being put off. But we were coping. He started to go out more often, twice a week but he was not taking anything then. Just getting drunk on a Saturday night and being hung over all next day. It started to change in March last year. The three times a week, getting pissed and on the coke. Then June it all exploded.

His friends all have money and he has a good job. Never asked how much but anything that you put up your nose or puke out is too much for me.

[hox]

Yes it’s a genuine drug problem.

My husband is the same now, (for the last six months) going out all hours drinking and when he has a drink he has cocaine. He doesn’t do it without the drink. Three times he goes out per week and comes back the following day in a state.

I feel the friends he associates with are a cause of the problem, then the alcohol and finally the cocaine.

But at the end of the day my husband can say no to going out. No to the drink and no to the cocaine. He used to.

[hox]

He won’t admit it until something bad happens to him I’m sure. He has ruined our relationship. He knows how bad things are for me but he’s ok. So thats alright with him. He has become selfish. I’m trying to do things on my own but it’s hard after all these years of constantly being together.

[hox]

I have a problem with my husband taking coke and drinking too much. Like you say everything to excess.

He hasn’t any medical problems though only the ones he’s creating himself.

But every one around him when he goes out takes it. They are all the life and soul of the party whilst they’re on it.

It’s a shame that you have had no support when he tried to kill himself.

[hox]

I’ve watched the first part of the video and its interesting. It could help us if he admits he has a problem. He is not there yet even though all the ailments that he has I have told him are down to the coke he just fobs me off and disagrees.

[hox]

I’ve never taken drugs myself but my husband, the majority of his friends and some of his family do.

Our mutual friends don’t partake either so he’s not tempted or spurred on when we are out with them. Problem being, he’s not interested in them anymore.

[Author]

Posts