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I’m always in the background Georgia, watching whats going on, hoping for good news with everyone.
It is hard to cope and it feels like that for a long time. I’m not gonna lie. When you love someone…….
It feels like you have been humiliated in the eyes of everyone that knows you both and embarrassed. I can tell you now the humiliation and embarrassment will fade if you tell people the truth of what has happened. I know, embarrassment and humiliation, but it works. Don’t hide what has happened. He has made this a mess not you. You are the one that has tried to clean this mess up, you alone. He can only help himself and we all know that. It is just a shame that it feels like a waste of time and effort. It has not been because you can hold your head up high and say you have done everything you possibly can. You can be there when he wakes up, in the background. If he goes off the rails he does. You will be there if needed, that is if you still want to yourself when you have healed a little. You have taken all you can for the moment and you cannot make yourself ill from this.
Take each day at a time. Small steps. Try, just try to keep busy. It is hard but you need to stay strong and look after yourself for a while. When he wakes up you will be ready for the battle that is ahead xx
I’m so sorry to hear this Georgia. I know what you have been going through and it’s hard when they blame us for their addiction. I feel for you, as you have supported him through thick and thin.
I hope through doing this he wakes up and realises what he has potentially lost, a supportive loving gf who only wants the best for him.
Hi Georgia.
I hope you are ok. I am sorry to hear that your bf has relapsed. I hope he is back on track now. Keep strong and supportive and look after yourself too. Best wishes to you both on this awful journey.
My sister also told me she was taking codeine last week. Luckily she is aware of the problems this too can cause. Hopefully she hasn’t swapped one for the other.
Great news about your mums 20 year anniversary. I did go to an AA open meeting with my sister and she was the youngest there. When I made her go she actually thought it would be her and a load of homeless, drunken people. She had her eyes opened wide.
All you can do is hang in there. If he’s lying he is doing it to himself as well. I do wish you both well. It is a life of hell with cocaine on both sides, the user and the partner.
My ‘husband’ was the same.
‘Husband’ only sniffed when he was with family that partake or with his friends that he too said are like family. But they are only ‘coke friends/family’ not normal, real friends. My husband had a real life before he was introduced to these people. You sound so much like him, like he couldn’t not be with these people. You have to separate yourself from these friends if you want to stop. You can still have a social life without them as you said you can drink when you are abroad on holiday. It is a difficult choice, your health or your life with your friends. I’ve seen it, I have been there.
I wish you well.
It is hard to know if they have relapsed. They can be experts at lying and manipulation because of the embarrassment they feel after sniffing the stuff. Not all are like Dan and are desperate to give up the coke.
Well done Dan. Glad you stopped yourself. You know you can do it even if its on your own. Give your gf the phone on friday don’t wait to be asked for it.
You have done so well. Like you say one day at a time.
My sister is an alcoholic and her AA meetings keep her on the straight and narrow. She has had one relapse. Her life is so much better being sober.
Keep up the good work.
I’ve got to now. I’m not sure because he was always ill before with the ‘flu’
Yeah, knuckle down. Save that money for extras on your hols, you have been looking forward to it for a long time.
Still on remand. He was on the phone consistently for two weeks as he needed to use me. Then came the nastiness. During week three he was in his bunk for three days saying he was ill.
I’m trying to keep myself busy and I’m starting to feel less anxious nowadays.
You are still doing well Dan. Pick yourself up. You are doing the right things and getting back on track with your plan. Keep going.
It’s a shame the dealer didn’t take notice of you previously. He has no respect for you and your wellbeing. Maddening. I’m mad at him.
I do feel that keep coming on here helps. Keeps you focused. Well, it helps me but it also makes me sad and I feel I’ve been there, done that.
We do so want you to find a way.
I am in the same position as are many of us on here. This is a condensed version of my story on here.
Happily married to my soul mate for fourteen years. He occasionally sniffed cocaine, a few times a year recreationally at a push.
Then came his court case which eventually he couldn’t cope with. So he went out and got drunk and was on the coke regularly. By this I mean three times a week. This changed him into a person I don’t recognise anymore, a monster. He didn’t think he had a problem. Then again he didn’t, I did with his sniffing.
‘Husband’ is now in prison. I’ve now found out he had not been going to work and had taken every penny out of his business account and had debt with credit cards.
Looks like he has upped the sniffing or rubbing to daily. I have been waiting for my lovely husband to return for eleven months now but cocaine changes a person. It has also changed me and I don’t partake. I’m still suffering anxiety and I feel sick every morning when waking. I have constant panic attacks.
Nothing will change until he realises he has a problem and wants to do something about it. No amount of begging or talking to him will make a difference, don’t waste your breath. Until he does, try to take care of yourself. Take care of your business without him and split your finances. It’s not being horrible it’s being careful. When he comes to his senses you will still have a roof over your heads and a business.
I wish you both well.
I’m the same. Happily married fourteen years.
‘Husband’ sniffed coke recreationally few times a year. Then March last year he started to sniff regularly and drinking excessively due to stress over an upcoming court case.
Now he’s in prison, he has left me in debt as I have now found out he wasn’t going to work regularly. The lies they tell. He is self employed and I have a massive tax bill and credit card bills to pay.
I’m at my wits end.
It’s good to see that things are getting better for you and you feel free of this nightmare.
It’s awful reading what you have been finding out whilst he’s been on the coke. You are right it changes a person forever but that’s not just them it changes us forever too.
I wish you well and good luck with everything.