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Thank you I will take a look

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Just read your post and can relate to what you have been going through I’ve been on the site on off for few years sadly with the same old story husband of 22 years an addict to cocaine I’ve had those debts and collectors long time ago now damaged my credit report and with no previous renting I’ve been sat on council for 5 years as homeless at home.I had my own business he worked with me but he was taking everything when he got out of bed I couldn’t keep going so I got a job and closed it down which he hates but I’m still there with a hope to eventually pass for a mortgage of my own .I’ve just got to my 6 year so bad debts have started coming off credit file which is a relief and I made a point of having all utilities and bills in my name paid to date I’ve never given him a penny in the last 6 years learnt hard way and it is hard the manipulation he used saw me withdraw from family and friends he’d say they had been talking about me and agree with him that I had issues I believed him and the horrible things he says or calls me you think he’s done his worst but no another shocker.

My husband has never been involved with anyone else.he is cheating on me though when he goes upstairs to sniff every night I can’t win coming second best I actually caught him last night because he thinks he’s hiding it he knows he has a problem but won’t stop for me I’ve been taking pictures showing his coke so he can’t deny call me a liar to me this is cheating.

I would give anything to have him sober like you’re other half I don’t see it happening For me.

I’m glad your partner has been sober for you and your baby and he’s helping more.trust is hard when it’s been broken have you spoken to him about it since he’s been sober or just when you found out ?
try explaining yes he’s doing really good staying sober and things are better but that your struggling with the broken trust you had?
Hopefully it could clear the air with a sober more honest response to show remorse and help you move on.

wishing you well.

 

 

 

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You are not alone it’s like reading your diary of what it’s like to live with addiction.my husband is a addict cocaine about 8 years now with massive fall outs verbally abusive to me in the past I’ve got through to him few times but he stops never for long.he ran up huge debts which ended up on me having to face collectors for him and once on Xmas day morning while he hid in bed claiming depression and never got up.I believed him every time and tried helping him I was self employed but he put me in so much debt by paying people and having nothing left to cover bills so I closed business  and got employed work instead I haven’t given a penny since.I still can’t believe how much he has spent and he  doesn’t care I’ve just reached the 6 year mark hopefully start seeing my credit file improve at last.my so called husband still using daily never in front of me though but having just got through Xmas not speaking to me or his parents I’ve had enough

he has fallen out with his parents few times they bailed him out but he lied about what it was for but he had to sign house to them.he started talking to them last week.I’ve been trying to get my own place been classed homeless at home over a year now tried private but credit file no references he knows I’m trapped and I stay quiet as been told to leave by my in laws is awful I don’t blame them but they blame me from what he says to them I’ve lived here 25 years.

his mood started last night in front of my 2 little grand children I was having overnight and he called me a ba****** twice saying when am I leaving.I told him don’t start now in front of the kids.he left it and went upstairs to get on it.

I can’t let him hide behind me anymore I need to tell his parents there is nothing of him left to me now

 

 

 

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Having just read your story it’s gives hope and Well done.I didn’t think I’d be back on here again to get some strength of what’s ahead .

my husband of 27 years is a cocaine addict a heavy daily user has been for years I have got him off for few weeks in the past but never for long before he’s starting again thinks I don’t notice he doesn’t even go out socialising he just goes upstairs to watch tv usually 7pm then I hear the draw and him getting on it. Like a love affair she wins over me every time.he is such a manipulator thinking he mr big to his friends (users).all the nasty comments towards me then he walks out or stops talking even at present time we haven’t spoke for weeks he has always manipulated people into thinking it’s me and telling me that family friends agree with him! it took a long time to realise that why would they say that and if you thought anything of me why would you not defend me instead I just avoided them.which he wants I’ve paid of thousands he’s borrowed from family friends always saying don’t let me know.that’s because No one knew I had nothing left to give
That was 5 years ago now and I’ve nearly cleared my poor credit report.Not given him a penny since because we don’t have holidays (needs a supply) I just save and now able to get what I want which hopefully a mortgage at some point.i will put on my happy face for Xmas same as last few I never want to put a downer on others.years back we would be having coke together over Xmas but 1 year I woke on bathroom floor didn’t know if I passed out or had a seizure that scared me and I’ve never had it since I have had some brilliant nights out sober as doesn’t bother me so please big up your sober Xmas and new year and enjoy it.

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hi FF1234 im sorry to hear what your going through especially today xmas enjoy for you and your daughter just today, your not alone on here you will find that out and it shows a true kindness when people with there own problems reply and hear you.

i confronted my husband of 28 yrs a couple of months back told him he has problem an addict he denied it spent 3 weeks twisting everything to being me then he left. i was broken i went no contact like no message replying to him nothing had to, its hard i have really stood me ground i was so upset though as my son said he was going to him for xmas day so for all our sakes i spoke with him hes actually gone to dr and has been going daily for test very early days but the last 4 yrs have been hell. im wary of beleiving him i will be there but he knows i need to help myself too. hes coming for dinner today keep thinking my wish today is this time next i want my happy home back. please try enjoy today through your daughters eyes and he’ll keep till tomorrow ( boxing day) sorry had to do that.

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Hi bump thank you for your reply I understand what you’re friend is saying.about6 years ago my husband promised to stop he was a mess he lasted 6 months since then it’s been his secret but his mood swings have been constant for5 years now and I have tried and hoped we would be us again for20 years was tthe best I don’t regret them walking away now is what I need to do and his parents agree

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Hi mholes sorry about your brother.it’s not that easy to push for rehab they themselves have to want to. I told my husband he has a problem he’s an addict but because I never see him doing it he denies it. he did stay off for about 6 months that was 6 years ago I gave him the ultimatum that I would leave he promised me. Since then it’s been a secret getting worse over time. Had to tell him straight he needs help. I thought he’d cave admit it. No complete denial spent 3 weeks turning everything being my issue nasty vile comments.he then packed a bag and left me our 16 & 20 yr old. We’ve been together 28years I’ve forgiven so many times this last time I

the way he called me names so vile I can’t forgive him now I’ve got to leave my home we live with his parents they can’t cope with arguing anymore he lost our security to settle debt. He’s messaging me can’t understand why I’m still angry no remorse not one bit sorry still blaming me I’m throwing away28 years.fact he’s left to be with Charlie he’s destroyed our happy family life to have Charlie. It’s going to be the hardest thing I’ve got to do it hurts but that admitting I lost him a while back. I’m going no contact have to it might work ??

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Hi cherryb Another halfway point to the weekend I’m ready for snapping the day my husband walked out was the day he picked parents up from holiday I’m guessing I’ve been blamed for why he left I’ve been ignored totally like I’m at fault there son not home they don’t know about the cocaine. Tonight he’s been down all of 5 minutes next door in his parents we have always had My granddaughter stay Saturday except the last2

My little saviour we have so much fun together then he called her in next door spent 5 minutes and left He hasn’t seen her for 2 weeks I’ve seen her loads. Sad .he’s a grandad who’s walked out for coke I don’t know how his body copes with it.

Take care

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Hi cherryb Another halfway point to the weekend I’m ready for snapping the day my husband walked out was the day he picked parents up from holiday I’m guessing I’ve been blamed for why he left I’ve been ignored totally like I’m at fault there son not home they don’t know about the cocaine. Tonight he’s been down all of 5 minutes next door in his parents we have always had My granddaughter stay Saturday except the last2

My little saviour we have so much fun together then he called her in next door spent 5 minutes and left He hasn’t seen her for 2 weeks I’ve seen her loads. Sad .he’s a grandad who’s walked out for coke I don’t know how his body copes with it.

Take care

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Harry123 hope your getting help. you sound remorseful it’s sad to hear what cocaine has taken from you. Everyone has a breaking point I’m absolutely gutted I’ve never asked for much just wanted a happy home and it was the best up to 6 years ago I never thought after 28 years together he’d break me like this .

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Harry123 hope your getting help. you sound remorseful it’s sad to hear what cocaine has taken from you. Everyone has a breaking point I’m absolutely gutted I’ve never asked for much just wanted a happy home and it was the best up to 6 years ago I never thought after 28 years together he’d break me like this .

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Hi cherryb I’m sorry to hear you had such a bad weekend.my husband ended up walking out Sunday not spoke to him since I spotted him today looking rough so still on it and in denial.

Saturday was his bad mood day I was ignoring it anything to put me down as I’m the one with the problem got to the point both boys told him to shut up!! there not baby’s no more There young adults that work hard so proud of them. I always hid it in the past, just like we do with our husbands if it’s not bad moods it’s big ideas and promises that never happen so now I’m going to leave him to it… I’ve slept better this week had no anxiety which is good. It’s harder when kids are young I hope you take a look and the extra support being offered I feel better just for talking on here a big help take care x

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Hi cherryb I’m sorry to hear you had such a bad weekend.my husband ended up walking out Sunday not spoke to him since I spotted him today looking rough so still on it and in denial.

Saturday was his bad mood day I was ignoring it anything to put me down as I’m the one with the problem got to the point both boys told him to shut up!! there not baby’s no more There young adults that work hard so proud of them. I always hid it in the past, just like we do with our husbands if it’s not bad moods it’s big ideas and promises that never happen so now I’m going to leave him to it… I’ve slept better this week had no anxiety which is good. It’s harder when kids are young I hope you take a look and the extra support being offered I feel better just for talking on here a big help take care x

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Thank you jem katie1 nannyger cherryb your replies meant a lot and it’s a relief to talk and bump I understand how bad the mood swings are. If it’s not a bad mood he’s full of big ideas and promises that never happen. Since he left on Sunday I’ve slept better had no anxiety.Saturday was awful his mood was bad.he got that bad both my lads told him to shut up which he didn’t like. And he left on Sunday I’ve had no contact but I spotted him today i was driving and he looked rough so still on his bender in denial so I’m having to leave him to it. I don’t need to make excuses to our kids anymore because despite everything they are amazing young men now they understand the effects of drugs and mental health..

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Thank you cherryb x been hard last couple of days thinking about how much we have lost its sad I was his world once.think I’m facing up to being over this time I can’t forgive and forget the vile comments over last few weeks this page helps so much xxx take care

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