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I am so lucky to have my little dog. She had an operation last week but is really picking up now. She is also really good for my son and goes in to his room and makes him pay attention ????.
Bump22 – really good news about your son, you must be so relieved. It’s inspiring to hear your news, when things have been so difficult. I hope you’re sleeping better and that your family can enjoy just being normal.
68862 – that’s so lovely that you have a new grandchild, as you say, it’s good to have such a wonderful distraction. My lovely dog does that for me.
I agree with Debc it’s pure hell and we have to just hope for a happy ending one day x
Nanny ger, I am so sorry that you’ve gone through all of this. I can’t imagine the misery of seeing my son in prison or homeless, like some of the mum’s on this thread. I just know some of the fear and helplessness you will have experienced and the lack of support by professionals. I’ve no idea how you you’ve carried on at work and put on that face every day. I really hope that your life gets easier. I feel for your son as well and hope that at some point he is able to turn his life around. You have to get on with with living yours now. You’ve done everything you possibly can and have other people who need you to survive this. I am thinking of you x
Debc – it’s really good to hear your news, you must be happy to have a life that’s a bit calmer, it sounds like your son’s doing really well. Joining a gym is a big step, I can’t imagine my son ever doing that. It’s great to hear good news, it reminds me that they turn corners and anything is possible. Take care xxx
Hello 68862, it’s such a difficult decision over rent, and knowing how much worse things can get if your son is homeless. Is there an opportunity to try and take control of his money as it comes in. I have a bit of an agreement with my son at the moment that if he wants help then I control his money. It’s not perfect and does go wrong but it has helped quite a bit. When he gets paid he transfers the bulk of it to me and I transfer back in smaller amounts. My son made a comment a while ago about a friend of his ‘if he’s not prepared to hand over his money he’s not serious or ready to be helped.’ I guess the problem is that even if they aren’t ready you still want them to have a roof over their head, so this might be completely unworkable or something you’ve tried before. I really feel for you with this, it’s a long drawn out agony, that drains you mentally and financially.
Lindyloo I hope that things are okay with your son. Thank you for your kind words, I’m trying to learn to appreciate small positives and not to focus on the bad stuff – very hard though.
I hope everyone has a good day with no drama.
Thanks Bump, In the sunshine, he looked so handsome and we were talking about things from his childhood, it all felt so normal. I actually felt my heart rate slow down and I just tried to really enjoy and appreciate the moment. It was like a war stopping for a little while.
I hope that your son is doing okay, I know what a long struggle its been, knowing where he is at night and that he’s safe must be a relief, although I get that he’s probably hating it.
Hi 68862 I’m really sorry, its so stressful for you to go through this. Its easy to say that you just say ‘no’ but so hard when you do it. I’ve caved in loads of times, and I think they lose perspective on how much £600 actually is because their lives are all about spending large amounts on drink or drugs. They don’t choose to live that way its just where they’ve ended up, but everyone suffers, as their mum’s I don’t think there can be much pain greater than this.
Just keep talking on the thread, it is the thing that has got me through recently. Sometimes I am in work meetings and an email pops up, I just find it comforting to read about others out there. I feel sad for all of us, but know that this thread has amazing people on it and I feel lucky to have found them.
Tonight was a good one for me, I sat in the sunshine with my son and we ate fish and chips, he was completely his old self, and I just wanted to savour the moment, of him feeling comfortable and talking and joking like we used to. When you are going through the bad times its hard to remember or to keep believing that the person they were before all of this is still there somewhere. I wish I could hang on to that thought.
I hope you can switch your phone off tonight and watch something good on tv, and not think about it for a few hours. I’m thinking of you xxx
68862 – I’m so sorry things are really bad at the moment. It’s so hard to watch them struggling and not being able to do anything. You have done so much, one day he will see that.
I feel like you, I hate hearing about the achievements of other people’s children and seeing their pride. Then I hate myself for feeling that. There is no joy in this. I have heard of parents leaving their jobs because they can’t cope and am trying to hold on to mine but I know I’m not doing a great job at the moment. My son is gearing up to coming off heroin again and I know he really wants to, so am going to put my energy in to supporting him in that but none of it is easy, it means months of insomnia for him, I wish I could do it for him.
I hope everyone has a good day x
68862 – I’m so sorry things are really bad at the moment. It’s so hard to watch them struggling and not being able to do anything. You have done so much, one day he will see that.
I feel like you, I hate hearing about the achievements of other people’s children and seeing their pride. Then I hate myself for feeling that. There is no joy in this. I have heard of parents leaving their jobs because they can’t cope and am trying to hold on to mine but I know I’m not doing a great job at the moment. My son is gearing up to coming off heroin again and I know he really wants to, so am going to put my energy in to supporting him in that but none of it is easy, it means months of insomnia for him, I wish I could do it for him.
I hope everyone has a good day x
Thinking of you all, also not slept. I think we have to hang on to that Lindy, I pray all our boys come through this and we have some joy in our lives again xxx
Thinking of you all, also not slept. I think we have to hang on to that Lindy, I pray all our boys come through this and we have some joy in our lives again xxx
I’m really sorry to hear your boys are struggling and I know the frustration and disappointment so well. It’s really hard when they’ve decided to stop and you feel that things are getting better and then you find yourself back at square one. My son said that getting clean is a bit like building a damn and every time a hole appears you have to figure out how to patch it so that it’s stronger next time. I’ve cried my eyes out when my son has relapsed. I try to hang on to the fact that if they can stop for a few weeks or months then they can do it longer. We just have to figure out how to not go mad and financially broke while we wait for it to happen. Thinking and praying this comes right for all of us on here xxx
Hi Lindy, I’m really sorry about your son and the lack of help from his GP. I know how you must have felt as well, watching him build up the courage to go and being dismissed out of hand. This feels like the bargain basement of health care. That’s the scariest thing for me that no one is coming to solve this. As their parents it all falls to us and them.
It’s good news that you’ve gone back to work and that your long Covid is getting better. I hope your son has some good luck and manages to access some genuine help.
Have a good weekend
Hi Lindy, I’m really sorry about your son and the lack of help from his GP. I know how you must have felt as well, watching him build up the courage to go and being dismissed out of hand. This feels like the bargain basement of health care. That’s the scariest thing for me that no one is coming to solve this. As their parents it all falls to us and them.
It’s good news that you’ve gone back to work and that your long Covid is getting better.