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Thanks Bump I know how much you’ve been through, especially with Covid added in. I am fortunate that my son isn’t on the streets, but that is the thing I really fear. He does want to stop but feels he’s spent most of the last year fighting and not using and he’s just tired. I’m sure he will want to get clean. Last time he relied heavily on cannabis for sleep and just getting through so he’s not really been properly sober. I’d like him to go to rehab when he’s ready to do this again but he has no confidence in that as a solution. He won’t seek help because he reads everything there is on the internet and believes he knows what he needs to know and can do it by himself, so no 12 steps or Smart Recovery. A couple of weeks ago he was taking Valium as well and I was making calls to try and get him sectioned. I don’t think I’ve ever been more frightened, it was like there was nothing of his personality left. I know it will get better, and I’m sorry to sound so negative. I am encouraged by more positive stories on here. It does give me hope. Thank you for letting me have my big moan, it helps.
Bump, that’s such good news, I’m really happy for you that your son is engaging with services and doing so well. I hope you’re long Covid is improving. I am sure all of the stress hasn’t helped.
Jenny, it’s really good to hear about your son and his training. I think they stand a much better chance if they’ve got a reason to get up each day.
Lindyloo – I’m sure your son’s just had a hiccup, it sounds like he’s got straight back on it. I really hope he keeps moving forward.
My news isn’t so good but I am encouraged by other’s more positive updates. After a few months of not really knowing what is going on and driving myself mad, I finally found out that my son has relapsed and is back on heroin. I’m so sad for him because he got through withdrawals and months of insomnia and now he is back there at the mercy of a horrible poison. He is thin and looks very unwell. I am trying to be positive but right now he doesn’t have enough motivation to start the process of getting clean again. I caught him with a small package in the post and got him to open it in front of me. It was bad for both of us, he cried and I just tried to stay calm so that he would talk about what was going on. I just feel so sad for him, for all of our boys and for all of us. I’m finding it hard to hold it together at work or even to care about much else that’s going on. It’s a tough one to accept that only he can do this – very hard to watch.
Thinking of everyone on this thread, I hope everyone has a bit of a break over the bank holiday.
Hi everyone,
Thinking about you and hope things are okay.
I could do with some advice. My son is still in his room with the curtains closed and mess and rubbish everywhere. He hadn’t eaten for days and has just had a cup of tea today. He is grey and looks like a very thin version of stig of the dump. He doesn’t accept there is a problem and this is just how the young live. He only comes out of his room in the middle of the night when we are in bed. He’s acting like he’s on heroin but if he is he’s been very clever because we live in the countryside and I don’t know how he’s got hold of it, I’ve heard him moving around at night and am terrified there is someone coming up here and dropping drugs. I don’t have access to his bank so have no idea what’s going on. I am really lucky he’s not on the streets, but this is hard to watch and not be able to do anything about.
Hoping and praying for all our boys xxx
Hi Catsmum, I found this really hard to read, another mum having her life wrecked by the worry of an addicted grown-up child. It sounds like you’ve had years of this. I really hope that as they all get older they will find it within themselves to change. The lack of support is so hard and also the limited number of friends you can talk to about it is very isolating. My son won’t ask for help at the moment, he sits in his room with the curtains drawn and hasn’t been outside properly for months. He looks so ill but as others have said, at least he’s not on the streets, which I am very grateful for.
It’s very hard for you, having moved house, started again and now your son is back home. I really hope that he moving forward, they are all capable of doing that, and I guess you never know when that moment will come.
Thinking about everyone on this thread, and sending you all a hug xxx
Just make the most of not having to worry so much, and enjoy your free time xxxx
Ivy – that’s brilliant news, I thought of your son on those very cold nights recently, especially being so far north. The worry must be really hard for you to live with. It’s lovely that you’ve met for coffee even if he is having to sort himself out so that he’s not rattling. I hope that being classified as vulnerable opens doors to extra services. Please spend some time taking care of yourself. A long bath and root job will make you feel loads better.
Bump – really great that your son is in a safe place. I hope he can also get the help he needs.
There’s definitely something to the adhd issue. My son is also trying to get a diagnosis. I can also see those traits in other family members who have struggled with life and self medicated with alcohol.
Nanny ger, I’m so sorry, your post is hard to read. I really hope at some point your son is able to find his way back. It’s good that you are in his children’s lives, for you and for them. This is so much to have to live with. In Portugal and Canada users get proper help to get off hard drugs. Over here and in the US they are in the bargain basement of health care with so many lives being trashed.
Thinking of everyone on this forum and praying for all our boys.
Lindy – your son sounds like he’s doing really well – it’s really good to hear something so positive x
Nanny ger, I’m so sorry, your post is hard to read. I really hope at some point your son is able to find his way back. It’s good that you are in his children’s lives, for you and for them. This is so much to have to live with. In Portugal and Canada users get proper help to get off hard drugs. Over here and in the US they are in the bargain basement of health care with so many lives being trashed.
Thinking of everyone on this forum and praying for all our boys.
Lindy – your son sounds like he’s doing really well – it’s really good to hear something so positive x
Nanny ger, I’m so sorry, your post is hard to read. I really hope at some point your son is able to find his way back. It’s good that you are in his children’s lives, for you and for them. This is so much to have to live with. In Portugal and Canada users get proper help to get off hard drugs. Over here and in the US they are in the bargain basement of health care with so many lives being trashed.
Thinking of everyone on this forum and praying for all our boys.
Lindy – your son sounds like he’s doing really well – it’s really good to hear something so positive xxx
Nanny ger, I’m so sorry, your post is hard to read. I really hope at some point your son is able to find his way back. It’s good that you are in his children’s lives, for you and for them. This is so much to have to live with. In Portugal and Canada users get proper help to get off hard drugs. Over here and in the US they are in the bargain basement of health care with so many lives being trashed.
Thinking of everyone on this forum and praying for all our boys.
Lindy – your son sounds like he’s doing really well – it’s really good to hear something so positive xxx
Nanny ger, you have really had it tough, I don’t know how you have picked yourself up and carried on with so few people that you can share it with without being judged. Putting on a mask for work and relatives takes a big toll. But you sound strong.
There was a chap talking on the radio at the weekend about trying heroin as research for a book, and more or less saying that its not that hard to get off, I wanted to scream at the radio. Heroin is a death sentence that just doesn’t let go, and wrecks an addicts brain. Our kids are paying such a heavy price for this.
Hi everyone,
I hope things are okay. I think of you all and your boys every day. Ivy and Bump I hope that yours have somewhere safe to stay and weren’t outside in the freezing weather.
It would be great if dealers got tougher sentences and also if users were decriminalised and treated as the mental health cases that they are. After my mum got ill and started to improve she was visited regularly by a physiotherapist and occupational therapist and had home visits from her doctor over Christmas. She is 96 and the NHS was genuinely concerned for her and wanted to make things better – all of this in the worst pandemic since Spanish flu. If only our kids, still young and with a chance at having a future, got the same level of care from the health and social care system.
My son is still clean of heroin but using quite a bit of cannabis to keep it that way, and not venturing outside at all. He is more stable and I am hopeful for the future. I would love to hear how everyone else is doing.
Hi everyone,
I hope things are okay. I think of you all and your boys every day. Ivy and Bump I hope that yours have somewhere safe to stay and weren’t outside in the freezing weather.
It would be great if dealers got tougher sentences and also if users were decriminalised and treated as the mental health cases that they are. After my mum got ill and started to improve she was visited regularly by a physiotherapist and occupational therapist and had home visits from her doctor over Christmas. She is 96 and the NHS was genuinely concerned for her and wanted to make things better – all of this in the worst pandemic since Spanish flu. If only our kids, still young and with a chance at having a future, got the same level of care from the health and social care system.
My son is still clean of heroin but using quite a bit of cannabis to keep it that way, and not venturing outside at all. He is more stable and I am hopeful for the future. I would love to hear how everyone else is doing.
Hi Bump,
I’ve thought about this group a lot over the last few weeks but have been very busy with work and looking after my mum, so haven’t posted. I’m really sorry you’ve had Covid and that things are still really bad with you’re son. I think what you are feeling is completely sane, it’s your head telling you that you’ve got enough to deal with and need a break. I don’t think there is much that we can do for our kids when they are in angry and demanding phase. If you don’t look after yourself first you won’t be there to help him pick up the pieces when he is ready to accept proper help. Becoming totally selfish seems to be part of it and it’s so hard to accept. I think they completely lose perspective. My son sits in his room all day smoking weed, only really coming out at night when we have gone to bed but at least isn’t on hard drugs but it’s not much of a life.
I hope things are going okay for everyone else.
Hi,
I’ve just caught up on recent posts, Bump and Ivy, yours are heart-breaking to read. No one deserves this, I’m so sorry for what you are going through.
I’m sorry for not responding sooner, my mum has been very ill and cannot walk at the moment, so I’ve had to stay with her. I am not sure what is going on with my son and haven’t seen him for 2 weeks, because my mum lives quite a distance from us. He has taken back control of his own money which is never a good sign, and for some reason its all gone. I suspect that he has used again and is back in withdrawal, as he is now feeling unwell in a non-covid kind of a way. I have some cover for my mum for the next few days so will see him again tomorrow. Sometimes you just get a horrible feeling, the signs always seem to be the same.
I really hope that we all have a better 2021 than 2020 has been. As others have said, I get so much from this forum and am so grateful for it.
God bless xxx