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Thanks Paula , yeah my son has lost his proper mates now has these friends that are in same situation as him and are all a mess themselves ! His sisters and brother are ashamed as they here stuff about him from people who see him out and about and are mortified , he looks a state and does awful things always trying to borrow money off people I understand how they feel . My son does bad stuff then feels bad and is full of promises that he’s gonna change his life but it only ever lasts few days don’t know what the answer is it’s down to him to do it and it frustrates me so much as I believe the sorry s and promises every time I have even had times where I consider just moving away myself but obviously wouldn’t and couldn’t anyway , god it’s a nightmare
Hi all haven’t been on for while too exhausted ! I decided to cut myself off emotionally from it all for my own sanity but that hasn’t lasted long had terrible week of him last week and spent the weekend in my pjs crying feeling sorry for myself and just wanting a normal life without these feeling of desperation it’s absolute shit ! I have stopped letting friends and family come to my house as never know if he’s gonna be here or be in a state when family are here it’s embarrassing I can’t even have my grandkids sleep over incase he’s on it or drunk not that he’d hurt them just that it wouldn’t be morally right I hate him but love him if anyone understands that feeling ?
Always hopeful , god I feel your anger myn did same last week went for first meeting all positive and came back 18 hours later off his head I must of texted and rang him 100 times desperate to find out how it went obviously not well !! He actually blocked my number , he’d borrowed 100 pound from somewhere and had good day ! While I was a wreck at home wish I could turn my back sometimes and not care but impossible obviously hope he hasn’t lost the job , I sometimes think it’s easier when my son doesn’t get work as I get all excited but only ever lasts couple days before he blows it and the wages for the two days usually just means a bender is coming . rlg 21 I get your views on the dealers i hate them they always have nice cars designer clothes well groomed where my son looks like a tramp I have messaged one before , bad idea , caused more trouble than it was worth got my son a slap and threats to us all I am not scared but have to think of everyone else involved . I know from years of this that for police to get a court case on these people is virtually impossible they need so much evidence and they are very clever at what they do I really have to hold my tongue . Let’s all hope and prey we can have a calm weekend x
Hi georgia feel sad that you have to live with the worry that your boyfriend will do it again I try to believe people can change and to give people second chance but when it’s the twentieth time you begin to lose your trust in people as a mum you can’t give up but not sure I’d do same if it was a partner just glad you haven’t kids yet as it would be too much to deal with hopefully this will be it your boyfriend will stay off it and there are hundreds of people who can just do coke once a month on a night out and be fine apparently! It’s part of a night out on town for so many people but for those who can’t its horrendous the consequences are life changing I do believe it’s some people are just addictive people my son being one of them . Just keep talking on here no one to judge you or make you feel bad , I am thinking of my own sanity now I have to good luck I hope your have stress free nice weekend
Did not mean to put question marks at end of that can’t find my glasses
Hi just read your posts I totally understand how you feel I to have other children that are honest hardworking adults and my 21 year old is addicted to cocaine he lies steals is aggressive maniliputive and I spend most of my days and nights in a state it’s horrendous I have found this forum such a comfort just knowing I am not alone as the shame of who my son is now is sometimes unbearable , has there been any improvement in his behaviour or drug taking ?
Hi Dan sorry late reply thankyou for your number so kind ! I do have one close friend who I comvide in but gets to point where you become obsessed talking about same thing and everyone has their own lives I actually get sick of talking about him myself so must annoy others ! I have come to conclusion I have to be strong and pull myself together ( well that’s today’s mind set tomorrow will probably be a wailing mess again lol ) I used to be a strong person but not anymore maybe menopause but that’s another chat site haha and as for my son and his dads death well who knows you’d think that knowing what drink and drugs do to people’s lives and the knock on affect to families would of made my son be against drugs but who knows he was a baby so has no memories of his father , I do believe some people have addictive personalities and as a child he was always obsessed with something unfortunately he didn’t get obsessed with something positive , and also want to thank DNAnon so comforting to know you know how I am feeling I do try keep myself busy with other stuff have just left my job as it all got too much I was a mess at work and it was affecting my work and my mental health but I will get myself back in work plus I have to I have no money now ! Bills are stacking up but at this point in time I just can’t need to get my head right bloody nightmare ! But there’s always people in worse situation than me I have to stay positive it’s just all very sad I have lost so much because of him I have had to sell most of my stuff to fund the debts he’s run up but there’s no more money coming in and nothing else to sell so maybe this will be what makes him sit up and realise enough is enough who knows anyway best wishes to everyone on here dealing with this shit and it is absolute shit . P.s Dan I love a day at IKEA ????
Dear Cathy I am sorry for what your going through I feel your pain it’s unbearable I am going through similar hope you find some help on this site x
Hi Dan yes my husband passed away , and my son seems to be going down hill again we have few days when I have hope then it starts again it’s alcohol mainly now and pills whatever he can get hold of coke if he manages to sell something or convince someone to share I think but anything to get out off his head his behaviour is irrational and he’s mainly angry I get the brunt of it as I am only one here think I have given up find myself wandering streets stupid times of day and night just to get out house I have so many friends but don’t want them to know the true situation at home , I know I should make him leave but can’t do it he has no money no job doesn’t sign on properly no friends left just few others like him but they aren’t friends think he’s stealing I cannot risk him dying if I kick him out sounds extreme but can’t lose someone else to drugs and alcohol he’s my child ! I am under the doctor myself now he’s given me helpline numbers but he needs to want to stop maybe some people just don’t ?? He seems to like this lifestyle he has no morals anymore everything I brought him up to be he isn’t anymore it’s just sad and horrible. You are a strong man and obviously want to get better and clean from drugs my son doesn’t
Your doing amazing you stay strong and thankyou for all the help you have given me and so many other people on here haven’t shared this but I lost my husband to drink and drugs many years ago he was 31 years old my kids were brought up without a father because of addiction and stupidity now I am watching my son go through this, life is precious enjoy every minute in a safe happy way please x
Well done Danman ! That’s fantastic that your still off that stuff , your such an inspiration for others on here x