[Jennifer76]

I’m so sorry. Thank you for sharing.
My husband was also denied a liver transplant and he was on kidney dialysis until his body could no longer tolerate it. I hope your family has found comfort from each other.

[Jennifer76]

Hi. I lost my husband 2 months ago due to alcohol related liver and kidney failure. While I am doing ok most of the time, tonight I was feeling the loneliness of the coming New Year’s Eve and not having him by my side. Turned to my phone for solace and Google brought me here. I’m in America. I know this is a UK forum but after reading the stories here and saying “me too” so many times out loud, to my cats, I wanted to say thank you for sharing your stories and making me feel less lonely tonight.
Like many of you experienced , my husband hid his drinking.  He lied to me and emotionally abandoned me and my daughter. My first husband was an alcoholic. That marriage lasted 5 years before I kicked him out and divorced him. He sobered up for our daughter and we’re good friends and co-parents to this day.
I was married to my recent husband for 12 years. He was a wonderful man. I never would have thought he would fall victim to this disease. For close to 2 years he complained about leg pain, high blood pressure, fatigue and other symptoms. I thought it was blood pressure related. As time went on he started eating less, sleeping more, not coming up to bed or taking care of himself. I would plan things to do as a family and he would always back out at the last minute. He became unsocial. Withdrawn.
I would find empty vodka bottles and ask him about it. He always had a lame excuse or lie or just avoid the subject the best he could.
February 2021 and May 2022 he spent time in the hospital for passing out.
The first time he broke his head open. The second time I was there to catch him.
Neither hospital visits gave me any indication that he was drinking the way he was.
He continued to slowly lose weight, started vomiting more, and his gait was getting worse. He shuffled when he walked. He was only in his early 50s. He still would not admit he was drinking heavily. He would not let me into his doctor appointments. I had no idea what was happening. Just that something was wrong.

I was very angry, sad, grieving the loss of the man I married.
March 2023 I got a call from his doctor. They were looking at recent bloodwork and I needed to get him to the ER immediately. His kidneys were failing. It was the next day we were told he had cirrhosis as well.
He came home from the hospital 3 weeks later. Proceeded to continue living on the couch. We had home health coming in for physical therapy and check ups. In addition to taking care of him, I was having to take him to dialysis 3x a week while also trying to work from home and get my daughter to/from school. It was too much. It was frustrating. He did nothing to help himself.
In May he went back into the hospital. From there he was moved around to physical rehabilitation and skilled nursing facilities as long as insurance would cover it. I could not care for him at home. It was too difficult, I was too angry, and exhausted.
I hired a social worker to help me place him in a nursing home and private paid for his care using his retirement funds from July through October. He was in and out of the hospital so many times in those 4 months. He was so thin, he couldn’t walk or do much of anything for himself.
It finally got to the point where he could no longer get dialysis outside of the ICU. We put him in hospice and he passed just days later.
I am relieved that he is no longer suffering and I was able to forgive him before he died, but I will never understand why this happened.
Thank you again for sharing your experiences and allowing me to share mine. I’m so sorry we have all had to endure this. I hope the new year brings you all peace!

 

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