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MrsB247 I feel your pain and anguish , as long as he’s still being nice and friendly to you I wouldn’t throw him out , It could make it worse. I would talk to him as an adult and tell him that you understand his choices ( make him feel like an adult) but he has to understand the home rules.
As others are working in the house he needs to come home at a decent time as so not to make noise.
Also take a photo or two of him without his top and mention to him that he’s loosing weight .
Involve him in family things get an connection going.
There is hope ! I haven’t updated for a while as I didn’t want anything to go wrong .
My son has completed a 2 week government training course , learning about first aid , cherry pickers etc , getting certificates – So he could work on a site.
He is completing 2 weeks free work on a site using his previous plumbing Experience and is feeling so much better and confident. I can see an change in him since he’s had this chance and his confidence is growing. He is looking forward to the future and looks so much healthier . I hope and pray it lasts .
Never ever give up hope , I have told him to climb one step at a time .
JEM – I’m sure drugs can be bought everywhere , your son does sound depressed and needs encouragement to come out from his room and see daylight.
If I thought my son was getting drugs delivered I would lock the doors and keep the key with me , leave your bedroom door open in case you hear them being dropped through the letterbox or windows opening.
Your sons sleep pattern maybe up the wall and he might be watching films all night , so tell him giving him warning that as from such a date it’s best that no television should be on after a certain time except at weekends .
Tell him you love him and are worried he may be unhealthy if he hibernates in his room all the time.
My son is up and down , being secretive and has a short fuse , he’s still coming most days for dinner . He’s bored as he’s no work , and nowhere to go. He won’t tell me anything .
Although I am not an expert his dad dying may of sent him on this road to destruction . He couldn’t cope with the loss.
I’m sure you’ve tried everything , Does he have an uncle on his dads side that can talk to him ? Or failing that any relative in his dads side?
Your son sounds lost in his pain .
But you did the right thing
XX
Ivy , I think you have done the right thing , you are doing a wonderful job and now you need to put yourself first , and find your own strength , your son is making his own decisions , and although we all do it – bailing them out every time it makes it longer for them to reach ‘their own rock bottom ‘ From which to climb from – although with your son and him overdosing I think specialist help is required.
Where does he live ? Would he go to a doctor? To get a substitute?
Anyone he respects that he could talk too ? Have you (although it sounds silly ) actually taken a photo of him and how he looks when he’s Off his head and printed it out for him to see how he looks .
With my son , I showed him what he looked like in my car Front view mirror when he called my mum and said he couldn’t go on I went to him on the road ,he was crying and he sat in my car and we talked and listened and I showed him what he looked like in the mirror and how far he had sunk due to drink and drugs. I refused to let him come home while still taking them and he stormed off . He was living in a room so myself and his dad stalked the ‘room’ making sure he went back there and he did .
We as mums don’t have the answers and I wish I could give you a hug , but I can say you have done the right thing , if he can keep on relying on you to bail him out he will and it will take longer to get to the point when they’ve had enough of the addiction.
Xx
Hi Ladies , my son comes round most days for dinner , he says he’s off the coke but not the weed and booze. He’s still in the bedsit and can’t find work . But things are a bit better He’s not so volatile.
He’s not able to see his beer buddies as the pubs aren’t open so that’s a good thing.
Life is up and down . I have hope .
Never give up hoping they Find there way .
Hi Ladies , my son comes round most days for dinner , he says he’s off the coke but not the weed and booze. He’s still in the bedsit and can’t find work . But things are a bit better He’s not so volatile.
He’s not able to see his beer buddies as the pubs aren’t open so that’s a good thing.
Life is up and down . I have hope .
Never give up hoping they Find there way .
Happy new year xxx
Liberty , I don’t know what to say , I hope he sees how lovely you are caring for him so much .
Hi All , bump I’m sorry to hear your son has relapsed , is there anything with his 1 week ok then 1 week relapse ? Maybe someone he sees.
My son has just visited for dinner , he’s vulnerable so as far as I’m concerned I’m his support bubble , he was sober tonight although last week he came drunk.
Money if he has it he’ll spend it on booze and drugs , if he hasn’t then he can’t.
I found that going on anti depressants have helped me , maybe that’s something you could look into Bump for yourself.
Hi All , Glad to hear some of our ‘men’ are seeing the light and working towards being healthy , and sorry to hear that your son Bump isn’t quite there yet!
If he is mugging people he must be desperate , for money , isn’t there anyone in the family that could talk to him ? Or getting help from the doctor? . For you and him .
My son moved into a new bedsit and all was well for a week , but he hasn’t answered his phone this last week , he did a bit of work so had money and has probably (for sure) gone on a bender.
He owes a court fine of £180 that he was going to pay With his earnings but I bet he hasn’t as I have the paperwork so if it’s not paid he”ll go to prison . I won’t bail him out , he’s gonna learn.
JEM it’s nice to hear that you and your son are building bridges and managed to get away for a few days .
Hi All , well my son was carted off in handcuffs by the police and taken to a cell , had a zoom call with court the next day and was given a £180 fine . He’s moving out of his bed sit this weekend and moving into a room hopefully he”ll prefer it as there’s not internet at the bedsit and the owner complains about using electric – he’s only been there a month.
We’re getting on better he had told me he’s off the drugs but allowed me to do a drug test on him and it came back positive for coke and weed and speed. Silly bugger.
I’m going with the flow , he’s not moving in until he’s drug free and no more money.
I know this is not my fault he hasn’t a cut off valve – although we do blame ourselves , he”ll stop when he’s ready !! That’s the Prozac talking they help !!!
Wishing you all much love and we are All mothers with our own burdens but there’s always hope xxx
I spoke too soon – the police have just left with him as he didn’t attend a court hearing last month for possession of cocaine ( end of July ) . He told me he had and had got a £120 fine .
It’s the 1st time he’s been nicked and taken away So they will probably hold him for a few days.
He’s calm at the moment but has no tobacco he went quietly.
A few days in a cell might do him good .