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Hi Februarymarie
I’m so sorry I wonder how much more any of us can take
I pretty sure all of us on this site would want you to share your what ever is going on in your life
Alcohol addition is a terrible thing
It’s so cheap and available 24/7
I hope your sister is able to talk to you your insight into it may help her
Your body and mind can only take so much it’s not surprising your not well
I know from experience and I’m still struggling with illness
I am taking pills to help me sleep
Please see your dr if you can
I do pray for all of us
Much love
Joanie x x
Hi Bump22
I really understand what you mean about being frightened to say they are doing well or it’s been X amount of time
We know how fragile the sober times are
I still get that feeling in the pit of my stomach if my son is late phoning or doesn’t answer his phone straight away
All the flash backs come rolling in
I think I am done with the craziness as I’ve made myself so ill with it all
I am treating myself with care now
My leg is finally healing but it’s very slow after the skin cancer removal
And the skin graft
I have lots of regrets about the way I handled things with my son
I know how manipulative he is
And I get what’s been said about an addiction being a choice
I did my best and I am proud of him doing his best now too
Just all be aware of the toll it takes on us
Love and hugs to all
Joanie b x x
Hi Penny M
Thank you for your kind words
You have pretty much got it right
When I’ve healed from this operation
I am going to have a holiday
I think what I have done has made a difference to my son
He has come a long way
I’m home and I know the madness has to end or it will end me
I’m sorry your mum was the way she was
Alcoholics are the most selfish people
They have the best and think they deserve it
It’s a crazy illness It takes and takes
Take care
Joanie x
Hi all
We all know what we should do
Putting it into practise is a whole different thing
I sometimes think they are testing our love to see how far they can push it
I held my sons hand for the best part of 12 months
But he is the one that has had to deal with his demons
It really is baby steps
Counselling anti depressants joining groups me feeding him good food
Doing his washing and cleaning
Until I could let go and he has managed to fly
It’s nearly done for me and my relationships and my other son
How I got through it I don’t know
And it’s still fragile but I know I couldn’t do anymore than I’ve done
I love him and it’s nearly unconditional
I’m recovering from skin cancer which I should have had seen sooner
I’m so exhausted it’s all ok but the healing is taking time and I think I’m depressed so I urge you all to look after yourselves
Love and prayers
Joanie b
Hi Imaginedragon
I think the main reason they won’t go to hospital is fear of not being able to get the drugs/drink they want
My son had a hip replacement
I looked after him until he was able to manage on his own
I went home he got so drunk he fell down the stairs and injured himself
He wouldn’t go back to the hospital
Until I said he might get sepsis
He had broken it and pushed the replacement out off line
And he had pneumonia
He’s fit and well now which is at least annoying
It’s so hard dealing with all the drama
He’s sober now and doing well
I hope you can get him to the hospital
Look after your self
X x
Hi Imaginedragon
I think the main reason they won’t go to hospital is fear of not being able to get the drugs/drink they want
My son had a hip replacement
I looked after him until he was able to manage on his own
I went home he got so drunk he fell down the stairs and injured himself
He wouldn’t go back to the hospital
Until I said he might get sepsis
He had broken it and pushed the replacement out off line
And he had pneumonia
He’s fit and well now which is at least annoying
It’s so hard dealing with all the drama
He’s sober now and doing well
I hope you can get him to the hospital
Look after your self
X x
Hi all
This site is so helpful
So much support between us all
X x
Hi Februarymarie
It’s the thing we all dread so much
The addiction is so strong
I hope it’s just a bump in the road
My son relapsed last April but realised how stupid he had been and got over it himself and he been ok since we had Covid and couldn’t go running to him
It’s always in the back of your mind
That it will happen again
I get that you haven’t told anyone but it isn’t anyones shame certainly not yours and not your sons this is an illness
They seem to look for a reason to go back to the comfort of that oblivion
Real life isn’t something they want or can deal with
Try to hold on to the fact he can be sober
I’m awake at 3am and know someone will be on this site too
See what tomorrow brings keep
Telling him you care about him and that he can get back on track
I think they need us to believe in them how ever hard it is
Love and prayers for you
Joanie x x
Hi all
I’ve just been catching up with the thread I’m sorry for everyone who is struggling
The weeks go by and we all do our best to get through them I’m waiting to go back to the hospital to have my bandages off and redressed
I’ve been sitting with my leg up for a week after the skin cancer removal and skin graft
It’s not the best thing to do when your mind is racing
But my sober son has phoned me everyday and just text to say hope it goes alright
He is a different person I actually like him again
So to all you mums dealing with your sons don’t lose hope
I never thought my son would turn the corner but he has
He’s working hes helping his daughter through her troubles
He going to counselling once a week
He’s starting to socialise
Hes put weight on and looks well
This is after 30 years of drinking and being a total nightmare
Sending love and good wishes to you all
Please pray for me and that my leg will heal
Joanie x x
Hi everyone
I hope things are ok for you all
Fed up Mum sounds pretty much like us all dealing with our sons
I’m so sorry we all know the drill
My son is absolutely great
Busy sober he is working
Helping his daughter he been here for a few day
He’s a different person he’s cheerful and funny
Fragile as it may be I’m over the moon
Me not so much
I’ve been in hospital to have a Basel skin cancer removed
And a for a skin graft to help heal the wound
I went private because I was 2 months waiting even to be seen on the NHS still waiting for an apt since May
I’m bandaged from my thigh to my toes and in quite a bit of pain
I’m finding it difficult not to be angry
I feel I’ve had so much to content with this seems so unfair
I’m so tired with the pain killers and the worry
It’s a case of why me
Anyway bandages will come of in a week so all I can do is sit here with my leg up
I really hope things are good with all the mums on here
Love and hugs x x
Joanie
Hi February Marie
I’m glad your son is doing well
It’s such a relief not to be on high alert all the time
I do think I’m suffering a reaction to the last 2 years
Like you I had Covid is seem that I am weak but I’m getting on with things as best I can
I had to have a biopsy on my leg
Privately because as usual the health service is so behind
when I rang in June to see where I was on the list they said they are just doing January’s urgent referrals
I had the money so paid to see someone I had it done yesterday
Results in 2 weeks
I not sure I can cope with much more
I just need to be strong
Like all us mums on here
I haven’t told my son
Protecting him from the real world
Take care
Thank you for replying x x ????
Hi Februarymarie
I think you are right
I’ve been unable to move forward
I’m not sure if it is PTSD
I feel so unsettled and not interested in my life I have some more health issue and more family problems
Not addiction related
My son is doing well but I’m not
X
Hi Dasey
Stay strong it’s a hard road
But unconditional love for your son may not be helping him
Look after yourself my sober son begged me to stop helping his brother as he thought he was killing me
I’m in a better place now and my son has been mostly sober for quite a while
Love and hugs
X
Hi PennyM
I’ve only just seen your post
It’s so sad that so many people suffer at the actions of your son
You are right they are totally self obsessed
I’ve lost count of how many ambulances I’ve sent to my son
They love the drama they don’t care who else might need one
They treat him so well and are so kind
Not a job I could do !
He’s ok at the moment but it’s very uneasy time for me
I hope your son gets some help if he is sent to prison
I’m sure you don’t want him to go
But at least you will know where he is
Keep strong if you can
It’s ok not to like him I always say my son isn’t a nice person drunk or sober
His brother is lovely kind a good husband and father
It makes no sense
Love and hugs enjoy your family
X x
Hi desperatemum 2
Please stay strong addicts are very manipulating they say the most hurtful things
Don’t give his lies any credit your other children love you I’m sure
They probably get fed up because he gets a lot of attention even if it’s for wrong reasons
Get a face to face apt with the dr asap
Use this forum and drugfam
You have to get help for yourself
Take care x x