[joanie59]

Hi Februarymarie

Yes I feel stronger with the support on this thread I think we all do

Hearing all the problems puts things in perspective we are all on this journey

Its a rollercoaster

My son is back at home now I can’t be with him as I’m still suffering with this Covid I’m testing negative but still have a hacking cough and feel rough

Plus I have a mammogram apt on Thursday

It might be for the best to let him manage himself

He only tells me what I want to hear so I haven’t got a clue how he is really

Will keep you updated

Lindyloo so glad you son is doing well

It gives me hope

Love and hugs

Joanie x

[joanie59]

Hi Natasha

I agree with you entirely it is a choice

I say that to my son

You are stone cold sober when you make the choice to do it

He says oh I never intend it to get out of hand

Your boys definitely deserve a better life

My son Is alone he left his wife for a young girl who thought she could manage him she gave him 10 years when she should have got out of it sooner

She has been left scarred from his madness

I glad she through him out

These addicts are better on their own

They do less damage

I hope you get your life back on track and are happy you deserve it

My son is in counseling he was doing well I’m hoping this is a bump in the road

It’s not the despair that gets me it’s the hope that things will be different

Love and hugs

Joanie x

[joanie59]

Hi all

So sorry you are going through this it must be hell especially if you have children

It’s very difficult to understand that it’s not that they don’t care for you

It’s that the addiction is stronger

Whatever pain they are in they need the drugs or alcohol to relieve it

They never seem to know why but deep inside there is something triggering it

My son has been sober for nearly 6 months but off he went on a bender

We all have Covid he was on his own and just decided to binge drink and not answer his phone

This is crazy drinking maybe 10/12 bottles of wine

I’ve been really unwell he lives 180 miles away from me

The drink made the Covid worse and he’s been in hospital since last Sunday

With breathing problems

They are really not in their right minds

It’s so powerful

You should try to look after yourselves and your children

It may take you a long time to get in a place where you can manage

Get help if you can

This is a good forum for advise and insight into this alien world you are in at the moment

Take care

Love and hugs

Joanie x

[joanie59]

Hi Februarymarie

Glad you son is doing a little better

It’s draining I’m still testing positive for Covid which doesn’t help

My son is on a Covid ward now he sounds poorly

The hospital is good he’s had many tests

He’s on 3 antibiotics via an iv

He is having a nebuliser he’s had an ecg

And possibly a heart scan today

I’m struggling to speak to him because I’m very angry with him

I’m at peace because I know he can’t do anything stupid but they will discharge him at some point and the madness will begin again

I’m glad your sister is supportive

Take care

Love Joanie x

[joanie59]

Hi Februarymarie

How are you

I hope your son is doing ok

I was concerned when you said you were feeling alone and upset

I know you have been through so much

And how hard it is to watch your son

Getting thin and not eating

Try not to let the dark thoughts in

I know I fear what will happen and what the future holds

But they hold all the cards

you are doing all you can to help him

I pray that they will see sense

Please take care of yourself

Joanie ???? x

[joanie59]

Hi Februarymarie

Thank you for your reply

We are all in the same leaky boat I think

I’m so sorry you are feeling alone at least you can say it out loud on this forum

It’s the helplessness knowing if the stop they will be better but they won’t

Your right they just go back to what they know which to us seems ridiculous why would anyone what to be so poorly

My son struggles with food when he’s drinking but soon eats when he stops drinking

All you can do is take him food and hope he can eat

Im glad he has some medical care

But tapper the drinking seems a difficult thing to do

My son always goes cold turkey which is bad the shaking the retching is frightening to watch

They are such enigmas so strong willed and so fragile

My other son doesn’t really bother with his brother he just worry’s he will take me down with him

He accepts that his brother is mentally ill

He has 3 boys a job and helps his wife run her dog grooming business

My partner is so good but wants us to have a life

So it is lonely

My son is relishing all the attention in the hospital

Having chest x rays and a Ct scan

All under the guise of Covid

God help the NHS

He said he had dye in his lung to check their function

I said to him you were fine on Friday

It’s the excessive alcohol that had done it

He believes is own BS

He only remember to ask how I was late on today …. Short of breath and coughing

At least I can’t travel

Please take care

Love and hugs Joanie xx

[joanie59]

Hi everyone

It’s seems the addiction services are not great wherever you live Mums seem to bare the brunt of trying to keep our children as ok as they can be

I have being struggling

My son came home for Easter

We had a lovely family meal with my other son and his family

However the day after my partner tested positive for Covid

My son decided to go home as he needed to back at work and didn’t want to travel if he too got Covid

That was Easter Sunday

I got it on the Monday and so did my son

He wasn’t too bad and was able to work from home

We spoke everyday and he seemed fine until the Friday

He finished work early he rang me and I knew this was it he was going to start a session of drinking

He probably had already his attitude had changed he was so cocky and dismissive

My other son who is asthmatic and got Covid and his wife

My son said oh I can only worry about myself

He said he would ring me the next day

He didn’t

I couldn’t get hold of him all day

I text him had nothing back

He rang me at 6 totally drunk

I was already feeling so poorly

In bed

I just said ring me when you are sober

His mobile was out of battery on the Sunday

I spent the day ringing his land line

Finally he answered he couldn’t speak

Just groaning down the phone

He must have knocked the landline off so after that it was continually engaged

I decided to ask the police to do a welfare check they refused

He has had breathing problem in the past

And pneumonia so drink with Covid

Really worried me

I called an ambulance about 7 pm

Hadn’t heard by midnight so re rang them

I was still trying the landline and finally

Got through to him

He was sober but didn’t know what day it was

He said he was ok and asked me to cancel the ambulance this was now 2 am

My phone was ringing at 8 he said he was in hospital with breathing problems

He said oh it’s all down to the Covid

Which it isn’t it’s him lying in bed drunk for 48 hours

I cannot bring myself to speak to him

He’s phoned his boss and daughter to say the Covid has put him in hospital

All out for the sympathy vote

Me I’m still in bed poorly

So I feel like I’m back to square. 1

I can’t go on with this

I suppose it’s a bump in the road but I’m at my wits end

Love to all

Joanie ????????‍????️ X

[joanie59]

Hi Natasha21

Why do they do it That’s the question we all ask

It’s unanswerable

addicts do exactly what they need to do

Maybe to block the some pain they are in

Or for the buzz

I’m sorry you feel alone it’s so difficult

At least on this forum you can have a voice that people listen to

Everyone will say they have to stop for themselves

It’s not that they don’t love or care for family but they only know the addiction

You have to take care of yourself

My son is in the early days of recovery

From binge drinking to the point of being in hospital

This could kill him

But after months of stress

He is in counselling and on antidepressants and back at work

I’m not sure if he will continue but he’s doing ok at the moment

Joanie xx

[joanie59]

Hi Kate

Your words are wise

You are so kind to find the time to say the things you do to us Mums going through

This madness

Thank you

Love Joanie xx

[joanie59]

Hi FebruaryMarie

I’m so sorry you are going through all this

I think Kate is right about loving him and

Letting him know he’s loved

Taking him food as well

And helping him to keep himself washed and have clean clothes

Giving some sign that he doesn’t have to live the way he is

I spent so many months being angry with my son

Every one used to say oh it’s his choice he only does it for attention

Why do you bother with him

Then the day I realised he was actually ill

And didn’t choose alcohol for pleasure but to stop the pain

I let the anger go and even defended his actions

It’s very early days for my son

I hope he comes home tomorrow for Easter

But there are no guarantees he will do the right thing I just pray he does

I hope you can look after yourself

It’s sound like you are at a low ebb

And why wouldn’t you be

It’s a living hell

Try not to lose hope

Love and hugs Joanie xx

[joanie59]

Hi February Marie

You can’t be with him 24/7

I was with my son for 4 months

I still didn’t sleep listening out for every movement

Every time he went anywhere on his own

I felt sick with worry

It nearly cost me my relationship

So don’t beat yourself up about anything

You can only do what you can do

You are caring mum

Its the old thing that we all know they have to do it for themselves

Maybe you could see a dr or counselor to get some help for you

When I got home and looked at myself in the mirror I was shocked how frail I looked

I’m a little better now

You have to have a life

Lots of love

Joanie xx

[joanie59]

Hi FebruaryMarie

I feel your pain nobody really understands

The terrifying reality of alcoholism unless you have seen someone you love

In the throws of it

I have had many bad times in my life

But to see my son suffer this awful addiction has been by far the worse thing

I hope your son is feeling better when you see him to

The help is so hard to find I’m not sure where you live

But it’s seems difficult to get help anywhere

I hope he can come through this it’s

A nightmare

I will pray for him and you

I’ve been home 10 days now

But I’m very uneasy about my son being on his own he is coming to me for Easter

Im also praying for him

Love Joanie xx

[joanie59]

Hi Februarymarie

Thank you for your kind reply

I feel very uncertain about the future but at some point I have to trust him

I feel so grateful as it’s such a lottery

For us all

Anything can tip our adult children over the edge

Love to everyone

X

[joanie59]

Hi lindyloo

Thank you

I just hope he will be ok

No guarantees of how things will go

But I am hopeful

Take care

Xx

[joanie59]

Hi Kate

Thank you for your kind words

I feel very nervous about going but I have to have my life back

Xx

[Author]

Posts