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Hi there, so sorry to hear this. I am not in exactly that situation, but certainly relate to the constant stress and grief because of loved one’s behavior, and you’ve got double. So sorry. I have one. Alcoholic husband.
Wouldn’t it be nice, not to have to think about it. not to have to worry about your partner’s behavior. And also to have a true partner, or be alone. I am at that point, sadly. I took off my ring. I have a dent and a callous. It’s been on for 30 years.
Well, here I am, writing on this random boardI found, because there is absolutely no one to talk to and absolutely NO help available. I am just at a point where I think i’m having a nervous breakdown. I can not stop crying. I am as low as it gets. The only time comparable was when my parents died. I am stuck. Got no job, running out of money, and i need to divorce him. I finally talked to a lawyer today, well I have called lawyers before, but this one talked to me. But then he said he was too expensive. I have no income, i can not for the life of me find a job. I have been trying so hard. I am a professional, and can not get anything. Entry level, nope. Too old. High level, nope. it’s not happening. Meanwhile i have an alcoholic husband, and realize I have been enduring cyclical abuse for years. He can’t stop drinking. He has tried, but always ends up binging again. It’s like on a monthly cycle. So I will have 3 weeks of somewhat normalcy (although not really, but tolerable and even some good moments), and then he’ll binge and it starts with him just being annoying, irritable, irrational, unrealistic, and so on….and it ends with his being on the couch for days. And in between I deal with his unacceptable narcissistic drunk behavior. I am trying now to figure out even how to divorce and how to live. I’m in my mid fifties. Can’t get a job, need a divorce, and do not know what to do. I have tried to find therapy, and i can’t find that either. I have called domestic help lines, but he hasn’t physical hurt me, so it’s not for me. I have exhausted all of my friends who just think I should simply leave, and are mad at me I haven’t. But they don’t know how to do this. They say get a lawyer. Well, I have no money, no job. No one will help you in the USA if you have no job. You are completely screwed. You get NOTHING unless you are a corporate slave. I am lost and don’t know what to do. I can not find help. This thread is the first I have found of people who are also stuck, going through similar situations. Alcohol is fatal, and, should I survive this, I will make an ad campaign to that effect. Advertising has been my career, and it has now been taken from me, along with everything. I have lost my parents, now my husband, my career. I have a daughter, she is all I have left the only one I trust loves me. And I am trying so hard not to derail her. That is what I have been doing for years. I am trying not to burden her, she has had enough of this shit. She is finishing her undergraduate degree and I do not want to ruin her final semester. She is a 2020 high school graduate, and her final semester was canceled because of covid. And she has had an alcoholic father. And his family are alcoholics too. They are functional though. He has not been. I know no one can help here, and you are all in the UK too. I went to school there and remember how the pubs closed at 11. I thought that was brilliant. Maybe it’s changed. In any case, there are a lot of us, aren’t there. Alcohol sucks.