[kate1]

Yes I need to I am very stressed. I’m taking this week off I need to switch off totally from this but it’s very hard

[kate1]

Thank you that sound very familiar. He is making me ill I need to take a step back I’m overloaded at work and overloaded with him. I’m taking this week off I need some peace and time to get my head together. It just breaks my heart is it to much to ask to have your son lead a normal life I don’t expect much from him but even that’s to much. He is getting angry cos he thinks I’m trying to force him to get help.

[kate1]

Thank you I just find it so hard to stand by and watch him lose his job and home. Maybe it is the way forward though maybe I have to see him fall and try to pull himself back up. I said to him I’m not seeing anything that tells me you are trying to engage with anyone to help you he point blank said he’s not going to and I won’t make him

[kate1]

I ended up paying his rent. He was ill last night breathless palpitations hot. He’s not eating I called 111 who called ambulance ten hour wait so they asked me to take him hospital. He wouldn’t go I spent all night on his sofa still wouldn’t go this morning. I called dr. Receptionist said take him hospital. He wouldn’t go he ended up telling me to F off. He seems fine now but I’ve told him I can’t afford to get him to work for the next two weeks. He says how am I getting there then like it’s my fault. I really need support with this. I begin to doubt myself when he says he hasn’t got a problem. So where is all is money going as soon as he gets paid. So I’ve paid his rent and now wish I hadn’t bothered

[kate1]

I have a job that needs my concentration it’s difficult sometimes though last week when things were bad with him I was really busy work wise and it actually helped me forget him for a while although I could see on zoom I looked a wreck. I didn’t sign up for this misery I have told him if I help him this last time it will be the last time I have to walk away.

[kate1]

I’m in bed as well. I hate waking early suddenly remembering things and my stomach knotting up. I hope and pray there will be an end to this nightmare for all of us

[kate1]

We took his cat for rehoming today. It’s not fair on it to be stuck with him at work and who knows how much longer he will have his home. His attitude was different today maybe he’s thought about what I said yesterday. Anyway he agreed to everything I asked him to do. In return if I can help him keep his home I will. It depends what housing says tomorrow. I have told him if I do and he lets me down again I will need to walk away. This time I have to mean it. I am so tired of the stress I am disappointed that your son is nasty even though he has stopped taking drugs. I long to just see my son happy and good natured. Maybe that will happen who knows

[kate1]

My son is on coke. More recently alcohol and steroids as well. For the first time I turned my phone off tonight. I listened to enough tonight to see he isn’t going to change maybe he needs to make these choices

[kate1]

Their promises mean nothing. I don’t even know why I tolerate his rudeness when all I do is try to help. My son has changed his number but there is someone who he talks to constantly. He says it’s a friend. He’s lost all his friends so god knows who it is

[kate1]

Thank you. I picked him up from work today as I wanted to speak to him. I basically offered him a way out a compromise I could pay this months rent in return I stay at his when he gets paid and for that night I take his phone. No way was he going to let me have that phone he got really obnoxious. Did a drug test when he got in he says he last did Coke last Saturday he was very clearly positive. I have taken his cat in because he says “it pisses on my bed and my clothes”. Did I get thanks no not at all. I think by his attitude I can conclude he is still very much taking drugs. I do need to back off. Oh he wants me to pay his rent but I see no gratitude just rudeness and ignorance. By the way I’m on my own my ex is useless basically doesn’t want to know x

[kate1]

Thank you. You are right patience and being open and honest with the authorities You will get there

[kate1]

I am trying to get it in perspective. What will be will be now. No he won’t do it for me I know that it’s got to be him want it. I’ll go out later with the dog but it’s constantly on my mind I need to stop that. Does your son live with you. I can’t and don’t want him back with me

[kate1]

Thank you yes it’s so difficult when children are involved. It says something that you want to make the change for them. I’m going to have a conversation with him today. He needs to decide what he wants. His ex is strong and has told him no contact until he shows clear signs of sorting himself out and even then only face time and I support her with that. The. children come first they have too. He loves his daughter and the ex’s little boy who he has brought up so much it just might be the catalyst for change. I hope and pray it is. I hope you get to a point where you can be a part of the children’s lives again

[kate1]

I have discovered Drugfam yes it is useful but they advocate tough love I struggle with that.

I need to hear that there is a way through this. Is seeing them on the streets the only way apparently it is. I just hate it

[kate1]

Thank you. Sounds so much like us. I just want him back to normal. Whatever his normal is. I won’t consolidate his debts he’d never pay me back. I think I will speak to him if I can. He has reached a major crossroads. He either wants to have a relationship with his daughter have a roof over his head a job and a supportive mum or he takes the other route. It’s a real choice now

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