[kate1]

He gets much less from me now than he has in the past I get the odd basic food. I do help him get to work but make sure I get the money back I pay for his anti depressants as if I didn’t he wouldn’t get them. His bills he just doesn’t bother paying at all he is thousands in debt. He still says he has things under control. If I mention getting help he says he used to be addicted but not now. Who is he trying to kid

[kate1]

I need to hear this but it’s so hard i cry all the damn time. No good to anyone at the minute. He has a pre eviction meeting Monday I said I’d be with him it’s on zoom. I am dithering if you pay the rent or not if I do he bumbles along for another month if I dont the process of eviction starts. I think he sees what’s coming and has asked me to rehome the cat. What if losing his home doesn’t help. Even his job if he doesn’t get money from me he can’t go. No job no home what’s going to happen. Sorry I sound full of self pity but who wants to see anyone go through this

[kate1]

It is torture it’s breaking my heart do you think losing everything has been the turning point for your son

If I thought it would help him I could do it but it’s the thought of him on the street. I really struggle with it

[kate1]

Your son sounds so like mine. I feel very alone with this. He’s not bad during the month but when he gets paid the whole lot goes in one night. He can’t afford to get to work this month he didn’t pay his rent. He has no food. He owes thousands I am so tired but I struggle to turn my back on him. I wish there was somewhere I could turn to for help but there’s no where. No one really wants to know about drug addicts. Everyone tells me not to pay his rent but where will he go. I can’t have him home here with me.

[kate1]

I struggle to watch him lose his home and job. His addiction seems to consume me. It’s mental torture to see your son or daughter struggle like this. I want to do the right thing I don’t want to regret things

[kate1]

Do you think it’s important for them to have structure I keep being told walk away let him lose everything. I see where that comes from but surely they would possibly just give up. What do you think.

[kate1]

Thank you. Even now he’s saying he’s not addicted. His wages disappear in one night but he doesn’t pay to get to work pay his bills buy food. The money just goes. So if he’s not addicted where does it go. I feel exhausted

[kate1]

Where does your son live does he manage pay rent. I don’t mind paying food. I’ve done with drug debts though. I probably will end up paying his rent but If it happens again he’s on his own

[kate1]

I can totally relate to this. I could have written it. We have had a really bad weekend with my son. He works. Mind you I have to pay to get him there. The minute his money hits his account it’s gone. He is now under threat of eviction. I am worried sick. Everyone says let it happen he’s got to take responsibility but dear god it’s hard I’m crying now my life should be good but it’s not

[kate1]

I feel so sad. It’s like he just doesn’t care that he could lose his home. I could pay his rent on my credit card but I think that’s what he is expecting. I wonder if he has underlying mental health or maybe it’s the drugs he’s been like this so long I don’t think he knows what normal life is like now

[kate1]

Thank you. It’s hard because he gets paid blows the lot in one night is a nasty bit of work until he needs something then it’s like he becomes my son again until he gets money then he’s gone again. It’s making me ill I can actually see I look exhausted. Life shouldn’t be like this. How long has your son been addicted I think mine started at about 17 when I look back

[kate1]

Thank you for your reply. I feel exhausted I am so worried if I don’t pay his rent he is on the streets if I don’t get him to work he won’t have a hope of getting himself a roof somewhere. How long did it take you to get clean. I’m guessing you are. We just go round and round in circles. Even the mother of his daughter wants me to drug test him. Which he’s ok with but I shouldn’t be having this responsibility should i

[kate1]

He’s not doing too bad thanks. Well he went and spent every penny of his wages last month in a weekend so no bills paid. I was hard and just said well it’s your problem. He has now worked everyday this month so he can pay his rent I don’t worry anymore about his debts like I used to. He seems focused at the minute he has gained weight. Payday is approaching this will be the telling point xx

[kate1]

There’s no rhyme or reason to the things they do. He reached out because he was in a low place now he is out of hospital he doesn’t want to discuss it. It’s hard and never ending. All week can do is try as best we can to get on with our own lives as hard as that is to do. Stay strong xx

[kate1]

Yes same here I don’t expect a lot just a son who is normal and please god one day that will come back it feels like I have never know him outside of the grip of dealers and cocaine. He has missed so much and so have i

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