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Well it’s something you’ve been thinking about for so long so you’ve got used to it. I think we get addicted to seeking and searching endlessly. Doesn’t help us at all but I’d say you need to take your mind off him and detox yourself daily. He sounds like he is “on one” at the moment like mine so I’m expecting the tears and come downs – which is crap and unfair!
I still haven’t heard since he came to my work ????
It’s really sad this. You’re literally missing him I can sense that. I can’t say you’re too good bla bla because you’ll find that out one day.
They always come back, it’s what they do. And likely he will turn up when you least expect it. Evenings are better for me too. During the day if work ain’t busy my mind wonders!
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That’s not recreational love that’s an addict. As for him asking you to join in? Wow is this your prince charming?
He sounds like a loser!
Sorry you’re going through this, it’s crap, however you need to look at what you get out of this relationship! Doesn’t sound very healthy to me at the moment, and doesn’t sound like he wants to get help and recover!
All quiet on this front as well. Strange! Calm before storm no doubt. Ah sod it I’m doing me right now and trying to get off the floor and sort my head out.
You’ll be alright. Don’t sit a wait around and look at social media. It’ll do your head in
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Some people love to place blame on others, and also jump on the band wagon! Sod them. How can someone else’s behaviour be anyone elses fault other than the person behaving! Makes no sense be because it’s all BS.
We are not responsible for anyone’s behaviour, we are only responsible for the way we react!
Blaming others is a typical example of someone not accepting personal responsibility! Let’s say for arguments sake you did something which he didn’t like or agree with etc by something you said or did right…. Did you get the drink or whatever and open his mouth and shove it down his throat? Nah you didn’t! Anything else is ridiculous!
Let them get on with it and you keep true to yourself!
Ah that sounds awful, unfortunately it’s typical of these men to treat people so poorly and selfishly! It’s crap isn’t it. Try not to keep looking as I think that will torture you more.
Block him/ her etc that will affect them/him more.
You ok today
Anytime, we’re all here for one another. Someone once said to me
“Being lost is a good thing, it means you find yourself”. No truer words said. I think things if meant to be will be. Chin up, always up!
You’ve done all you can definitely. I don’t think they care about anything or anyone other than themselves! In actual fact I’m not even sure they care about themselves because they wouldn’t abuse themselves the way they have.
I actually don’t think they function and think the same way as we do. It’s madness because they make no sense.
I’m sick of the crap! I’m sick of it all, it’s left me in a pretty messed up way.
Wishing the best for you. At some point maybe you two can go out and just be two people “having a chat” some place. Doesn’t have to be anything heavy. Seems so sad for a marriage to end ????
Oh you’re doing all you can Steveo for yourself. Have you tried to talk about reconciliation?
Hopefully you will work out what is best for you in time. This can be very destructive and can hurt you in so many ways. But it’s your choice and only yours.
I’m sorry this is happening, and I’m sure the “giving up at 40” is just an idea, but in reality it doesn’t work that way and it’s not that easy! If he wanted to stop then he would do it now.
Aggressiveness/mood swings make them appear as monsters. My ex partner is more interested in that drug than his own kids. He is always so angry, and you’re right “angry at the world” and don’t seem to take any responsibility themselves. It’s always blaming others and just nastiness!
Keep your guard up because you need to protect yourself from HIS chaos. It’s all full of darkness.
I don’t know if these men ever get back to being who they once were! It’s just so sad so very sad
Of course you love him. Unfortunately that drug has taken a hold and probably taken the man he once was and transported him into a different version of himself.
I think the ignoring is probably him avoiding discussing his issue as he doesn’t sound as though he is ready to give up. Maybe he doesn’t see it as a big deal yet, being in denial isn’t uncommon.
You can say whatever you want in these forums as long as you’re getting what you need and you’re expressing what you need too. There are lots of people on here going through similar issues so it’s good to talk it through with others.
If you read these threads you will notice the common theme with this drug and unfortunately that is devastation, loss, heartbreak, confusion, powerlessness, frustration and the list goes on. Simply put cocaine ruins people and their families.
There is no healthy relationship with an addict, it WILL break you in the end, especially if he is choosing not to get help. He really needs to focus on life without drugs and the rest of it that comes along with this lifestyle.
You must not feel as though you should just learn to deal with it because it’s not yours to deal with. These are his issues and not yours. Maybe you believed that he would change and that he would eventually give up the drugs. Now this hasn’t happened it’s left you to reflect on your own decisions around this.
It sounds as though you’re unhappy and rightly so, and it sounds as though his addiction is what’s most Important at the moment.
There is no winners with this drug sadly, unless they wish to change for themselves.
You lose him, he loses you and you all lose what life you planned to have, all because of that nasty ass drug!
It’s good you can get a break every now and then sometimes, I think you’d go insane if you didn’t.
From my own experience, I did break down and lost who I thought was the love of my life. Now, we are separated, his still using, and he don’t see his kids. He is now a Monster and is not who I fell in love with. You see they change when on this stuff! My ex became angry, nasty, abusive, a cheat and so much more. Once upon a time he was loyal loving family man.
You see – we all lost and now we’re all broken.
Please take care of yourself and keep talking on here for support