[kindredcoyote]

I told him we needed to talk tonight after work if he could put aside the time and not be on drugs. He hasn’t come home 🙁 this has happened before and he’s always ok but the worry it causes is so unfair. I think I really need to make this the last time he makes me feel like this. It’s so hard as he has no one and nowhere to go but I can’t keep going through this. I think I am actually suffering with depression over everything. I need to get myself back but he always manages to talk me round.

[kindredcoyote]

And I’m back, I don’t know how to be around him anymore as I cannot stand him when he takes cocaine. He thinks he’s normal but he isn’t. I’ve just asked him if he can set aside some time this weekend to talk to me when he isn’t on drugs. I think I need to really put some boundaries in place for myself. I’m not sure giving him an ultimatum is best as hell just get stressed out. What am I supposed to do? I don’t want drugs in my house anymore. I want him to pay his way for living in my home and to at least make an effort to pay back what he has taken. He’s told me so many times he wants to give up but he has never got any help. Just tries the same thing over and over. Do you think it’s fair that I say to him that I’m not willing to be with him if he’s not going to get help? It’s his choice if he wants to continue taking drugs but it’s not something I can be a part of anymore. It’s been 3 years. I’ll of course support him if he genuinely wants to give up tho. I’ve got him those Chinese herbs and that Louise Clark book and will give him them when we talk. But I don’t want to keep being taken for a ride. I’m 36, I want to have a family and plan a future.

[kindredcoyote]

Thank you for the reply. I wrote you a big long reply but it won’t post it for some reason. Mainly I wanted to say keep up with the good work you are doing for yourself.

[kindredcoyote]

Thank you for the reply. He says he does but I think at just for my benefit he says that.

[kindredcoyote]

Thank you, I think I have registered on the site. I will check

[kindredcoyote]

Hiya, it won’t let me reply on my post to your reply but I just wanted to say, don’t be too hard on yourself for a relapse. You’ve got this. You recognise the trigger and you didn’t go on a binge. Stick with it. You’re going to do it 🙂

[kindredcoyote]

Hi Gil, good luck with the make or break chat. I know boundaries are the answer. I’ve already had a few of those but it’s my fault as I don’t follow through. I know I’m enabling it. He makes some positive steps and then it’s back to shit again. It’s really affecting me financially and emotionally. I feel stuck. I hope you are able to find a resolution. I think if you are able to set a boundary and follow through with it even if it means you are no longer together then that’s the best. I just get sucked in every time for the new way he says he’s going to sort it out and it always ends the same.

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