[kirst101]

Thanks BT, I know he seems to have got so much help then he throws it in all our faces. He said that he wasn’t gonna use after the last time he was in rehab but he only did Detox do you think he would benefit from the detox and rehab, do you think it’s fear why he will not part take in the 3 month program.

He says he is ashamed but then keeps doing it. I don’t get it.

What the best to help with the mental side of addictions in general. I told him that cognitive behavioural therapy but he then never bothered to look into it. I seem to do all the work am I enabling him or helping him I don’t no anymore. I never given him money for drugs or pills.

No I haven’t got no where to go as couldn’t go my mums as she is ill and no room at all for me and my children. That’s why I have to throw him out, which is been agreed with ss, as a safeguarding measure but that’s it ss have left me to do it as I ensure the safety of the children it’s a joke really where is my support or help.

I just don’t get why I feel like the failure when I am not the one taking the drugs. It confusing. I have always wanted to help but I don’t know if my help is actually enabling him as he may believes he can It all then say sorry and I forgive him. I don’t understand it he says I don’t get it he loves the feeling but can the feeling be worth losing everything.

[kirst101]

Hi BT, yes there are children in involved and I have stopped him from looking after the children and wouldn’t allow him to look after them after everything he has done.

My mum knows but she isn’t able to understand it all and I am to ashamed to tell her all of it and too ashamed to talk to my other family members. It make me feel sick even the thought of telling people.

I don’t know why I stay with him after all he has done I think cos I know he can change before my son was born I was a victim of domestic violence From him and I took him to court and he got help and changed but when it comes to his addictions he doesn’t seem to want to change In his actions but he is good at saying the right things. How do I get past the bull that comes out his mouth. How do I know if he is actually willing or wanting to change.

We have a joint tenancy and it’s hard also as he refuses to move out and I have to find the money to go to court to get him out.

Every thing is so hard. When I first met him he new I was anti drug and that I haven’t ever taken anything as he had sniffed coke and I had ended it he promised he wouldn’t do it again and he didn’t really like Coke it was just there I was only 18. I never knew he had issues with heroin and crack. He seemed just normal what ever normal is.

I am now living in a prison and I feel every time I move he is out scoring pills or class As I just can’t live like this but if I leave am I killing him as I know he will go proper bad into it and since being with him I know of him over dosing and ending up in hospital on at least 4 occasions.

I always get the blame as it is my fault if I just let him take pills he wouldn’t take the other but the problem is with pills he can’t control them he takes and takes until he can’t take no more and he is on them for days completely off it it’s not acceptable when children are involved and is y I remove him from the home.

He also got clean when my son was born for a year and half that was 10 years ago and I fort having my 2nd son would help change him again But it didn’t I know I was stupid to think a child could change him and then my 3rd wasn’t planned at all. I feel like I am failing my children becos they shouldn’t have a dad like him they deserve a father that picks them over a drug. He went to rehab 3 years ago and was clean for 4 months then relapsed and now we are here. He went to meeting and ended up using them as an excuse to go and score. He doesn’t want to go away for 3 months apparently as he can’t stand being away from his kids for that long. He will do the 2 week detox, which didn’t help last time at all or we wouldn’t be her again would we. I got him back into the program for methadone cos he ended up using daily and needed it to survive and he wouldn’t ask me for help until he finally admitted it and I had to do all the work to get him back in addactions and then he was meant to go back in to rehab that’s been 2 years and no referral is completed at the moment.

I don’t know what to do. I Feel like I am fighting with a drug and I don’t think I am gonna win he says that he chooses me all the time cos he doesn’t use daily but fact is that he is on script he doesn’t have to use he just needs help. He would use everyday I believe if he had the means but he doesn’t, which is why he dabbles init not a daily user but he thinks I should be happy cos it’s not as bad as some but to me he risks his life every time he takes it. I visit family he brings it in to our home and injects in our children’s safe place in their home. It’s so wrong.

I had to change my sons saving account as he had access and was taking my sons saving to spend on drugs I have to hide my card and car keys I can’t have cash I am living in hell.

I really don’t know what to do why can’t I just leave him. Why is it so hard. Why can’t he change for me and his kids. What am I doing wrong. Why are we not worth it. Why do they come first. I don’t feel like a wife I feel like a carer and a drug worker. Why can’t we just have an easy life. Will it ever be easy. I feel confused all the time I am scared for my children I don’t want them to bury their father I want them to have a father that they can be proud of. I really don’t know what to do.

Thanks for the advice information. I am glad that you are recovering and you have took the steps to change well done. What helped you in relation to changing/ fighting and dealing with ur addictions.

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