WOW, THAT IS HARD!!! I’M SORRY TO HEAR THAT. AND KNOW THAT YOUR MOM TOO IS OVERWHELMED WITH FEAR AS WELL AND SHE JUST PROBABLY CANT TAKE ANY MORE BAD NEWS FROM HER FAMILY THAT’S WHY SHE BRUSHES YOUR CONDITIONS OFF. (I’M SORRY ABOUT THE CAPS, i’M NOT YELLING. i COULDN’T FIND MY GLASSES) i JUST FOUND GLASSES. I am a mom too. and Ive been a daughter as well. Ive used drugs and had kids who used drugs. So I know that your life might seen so stuck but its not. Do you have health insurance and a doctor? At 17 I believe you can make appointment on your own to start the ball rolling to get you help> You are most likely depressed too. You are right in feeling this way but know it will get better. Your family is suffering and you all need each other but you are at point where you need to think about moving out. Maybe with a friend. Not a boyfriend as those kind of relationships right now for you will be hard and add to your level of stress. Do you have an aunt or grandparent you could stay with right now? you need to love your family. No ones perfect. but you need to take care of you too. So distance yourself from the unhealthy chaos. good luck t you.