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Hi Jaz, welcome to the forum and thank you for sharing your story with us.
Everyone here has a loved one with addiction and also people in recovery who give good advice and support.
Congratulations on being clean for one month! That is a great achievement and you should be very proud of yourself.
My son is in early recovery, he is 29 and been fighting addiction for 10years or more.
If you go to ‘share your story ‘ and read Danman83 posts, he is a person in recovery and gives good advice. From what I know, it is normal to have these negative thoughts on a comedown from cocaine. It is an evil drug that tricks the brain.
The best thing my son did was join the CA meetings. You have support and advice and work through the 12 steps program to stay clean. Sometimes this can work just as well as rehab.
This has been the only thing that has worked for my son. You have people there who understand your situation and talk you through recovery.
Keep in touch here, tell someone close to you your problem. This is hard thing to face alone, especially as you are so young.
Take care of yourself
Lx
Lou, thank you for sharing your story, it’s good to share positive stories too as it gives us all hope.
I totally agree with all your comments especially the ‘every day’s a battle for them ‘ .
My son is also currently in early recovery and doing well thankfully. But he’s told me how difficult it is, if he strays off the path, stopping meetings and doing the steps with his sponsor, no alcohol, even a little, it’s back to square one.
The ptsd comment also resonates with me, although he’s doing well, I always feel I’m looking over my shoulder.
It’s thanks to all these ladies on the Theresa thread who have lifted my spirits and supported me through this nightmare of addiction. I’ll keep thinking and praying for us all here daily.
Enjoy your weekend my friends, try to find time to be good to yourselves, you totally deserve it.
Much love ❤
Lx
Hi Jay Fay, I’m so sorry to hear that your mum has passed away, especially under the circumstances, you must be devastated.
I know the Adfam forum homepage and Icarus trust offer advice and support. Perhaps there is bereavement counselling available that could help you?
Is there someone close who you can talk to?
I think it would help to talk to someone, addiction is a horrible disease. I’m sure your mum loved you and knew you were doing your best for her
My son has alcohol and cocaine addictions, so I know what it can do to a family.
Take care and seek some advice and support Jay Fay, time to look after yourself now.
Sending you love ❤
Lx
Good man that’s the spirit ????
Exciting getting your own place, that’s gonna keep you busy anyways Dan!
We have to share these moments of positivity.
Hope you have a good weekend Dan, stay strong ????
Lx
Hi Starlight, sorry to hear this. Ot must be so frustrating for you.
There’s little we can do until our loved ones admit they have a problem and want support.
Try contacting Icarus trust or Adfam homepage for more advice and support.
Please look after yourself too.
Sending hugs ❤
Lx
Hi Ivy
I don’t know what I can say to make you feel any better. Your son’s story moved me to tears this morning.
You and Your son will be in my thoughts and prayers. I pray that you both receive the strength to get through this nightmare of addiction.
Stay strong Ivy, try and look after yourself, is there anyone you can share this with at home?
Take care
We are all here for you,
Lx ❤
Hi February Marie, like Jem I can only reiterate what’s been said, especially about needing to fight their own battles.
I just wanted you to know that I’m thinking and praying for us all here. I know it’s easier said than done, but you do need to look after yourself or you’ll go round in circles with it all.
It’s the addiction talking, it makes them so selfish and unfeeling, im sure your boy is still there somewhere. Let him know you love him but hate the addiction and that goes with it. I’m sure you’ve probably tried and said everything.
Sending you hugs and strength to get through this February Marie.
Lx ❤
Hi Dan how are you doing? I’ve been thinking about you and wondering if you’re doing okay?
I know you’re not religious, but I do pray for you and to give you strength anyway ????.
Son has had a good weekend, he’s had things to do with the fellowship and the group thankfully.
Lx
That’s what this evil drug does, it turns people we love into selfish, aggressive creatures who care about nothing but where the next fix is coming from. So sad really.
I hope he comes to his senses before he loses everything, although sometimes this has to happen for them to seek help .
He does love you all deep down, it’s just the need to use cocaine is greater.
Let him know you love him but hate what the addiction is doing to the family.
Lx ❤
You’re welcome Starlight, I noticed the Icarus trust has replied to you too. I would suggest you, and more so your mum should contact them. You both need someone on your side who will help and support you through this difficult time.
Keep posting here, read the other threads, you’ll see the devastation this evil drug can cause a family.
Take care of yourself too Starlight.
Sending you hugs ❤
Lx
Thanks Dan, he’s had some wobbles, and he’s changed sponsors too. His last relapse scared him I think!
Yeah, he’s seems good, missing his nights out with pals, but knows he can’t go out and drink with them. He doesn’t see them so much, also a few are settling down married, children. He has zero luck with women, always picks the ones who are a negative influence (putting it mildly!) I keep saying, there’s someone out there who’ll love you and understand you.
Bless him, he’s lonely. He knows he has to look after himself first and foremost though.
You’ll be looking forward to a place you can call your own, and you’re a dab hand with a paintbrush! You’ll be all set for Father Christmas ????!
Keep posting Dan , we are like your aunties here, we’ll support you as best we can.
Stay strong ????
Lx
Hi Debc
Thanks for your lovely comments.
Yes, im scared to mention how he’s doing in case somehow I jinx his bit positivity- is that daft?
I’m pleased to hear your son is getting back on track too. Our boys are such a worry for us all!
So pleased Dan is back online- he’s such a good support ????
Take care Debs
Stay strong- sending hugs ❤
Lx
No worries, it sounds like you’re getting back on track again Dan!
Son is doing okay, had a few wobbles, but is currently 4months clean, thank God. He’s still very jumpy and anxious , and can fly off the handle over small things but he’s more thoughtful and caring too. He goes regularly to meetings and is doing the steps again with a sponsor, so fingers crossed ????.
Lx
Hi Dan, welcome back, we missed you. I was worried about you.
Try not to be too hard on yourself, I know every day is a battle for you guys in recovery. I see my son struggle through the days and nights.
So glad you’re back, you know we’ll support you here!
Stay strong ????
Sending hugs ❤
Lx
Hi Starlight2,
Welcome the forum, everyone here has a loved one who has addictions and also some people in recovery offering support and advice too.
Thank you sharing your story here. I’m so sorry to hear that your dad’s addiction is turning your world’s upside down. This is what this evil drug is like, it turns the person you love into someone you don’t like . It turns them into people, they themselves don’t like either.
This need for the drug, is all they think about, people they love are pushed to the side. Deep inside, they do still care, it’s just the need for cocaine is stronger.
My 28yr old son has alcohol and cocaine addictions. I know only too well what it can do to a loving family.
I wish I had the answers Starlight, but until your dad admits he has a problem and wants help- there’s not a lot we as loved ones can do.
My son came to us for help 2 years ago, he joined AA and CA meetings regularly. Got a sponsor, they do the 12 steps program, Google it. The adfam homepage offer advice and support also the Icarus trust posts here too.
If you click ‘share your story ‘ and read Danman83 story, he is a person in recovery, his advice and story is there to support others.
I think recovery can be achieved without professional help, but the addict needs to seek the help, be totally committed to the program and trust those who want to help him.
My son has relapsed in the past, but is currently 4 months clean. It’s so hard for him, every day is a battle. But I do tell him I love him every day, and he loves me too. Its an evil drug, but many people are strong enough to overcome it for a better life.
Take care of yourself, confide in someone close. Find time to enjoy life , don’t let the effects of this evil drug take over your family.
Ask your mum to contact the above contacts. Tell her to be strong and seek advice and support too.
Sending you hugs
Lx