Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
Hi February Marie, just to wish you Happy Mother’s Day, I hope it’s special for you. For us ladies in the UK , Mother’s day was in March.
Thinking and praying for us all here.
Take care all ❤
Lx
Hi Leedsgal, welcome to the forum. Everyone here has a loved one who has addictions.
I was sorry to read your story and wanted to tell you not to feel alone with this nightmare.
I don’t have all the answers unfortunately but I know the homepage offer support as does the Icarus trust who post here often. I believe they counsellors who can advise you.
So difficult when it’s a family member as you feel you can’t cut them off in case they deteriorate.
My son has alcohol and cocaine addictions for more than 10 years. He tries to get clean but has had several relapses. It’s a rollercoaster of emotions when there’s addictions in your life.
It’s very stressful, please look after your own health and well-being.
Take care of yourself
Lx
Hi Jamesb,
Well done you! It’ll be the best thing you’ve ever done for yourself and for others.
I think I replied to you before, when you said you’d had enough and wanted to stop.
I’m glad you’re reading the posts, especially Dan’s, he will be acreal inspiration for people like yourself who are trying to change their lives around.
Good luck for tonight, I’m sure it will be fine, and it’s just a matter of time before the face to face meetings start again, they are even more supportive.
Stay strong, be positive
Lx
Hi Nannyger
I’m so sorry to read your latest post. I agree with the others, you have endured so much pain and did your best for him. I can’t imagine what you have been through.
None of my parents or family know or work colleagues only 2 very close friends. At least I know I can talk freely here and know i won’t be judged and have other mums who understand.
I think and pray for us all daily in the hope that our son’s lives improve and that we can move on with ours.
Take care , sending you thoughts and prayers.
Lx
You’re welcome I’m sorry for the negative response, I’m sure he could, if he wanted to, turn his life around, there are success stories out there too.
It really begins and ends with him and his choices. Read Danman83 posts, he is a recovering addict and often posts here with good advice and support.
I really do wish you all the best.
Lx
Hi worried sister, welcome to the forum.
I’ve read your story, and knowing what I do about being around my addictive son, in my opinion i would get out of this relationship before you’re in too deep. The addiction will consume his life and yours, he will choose it over you every time.
I’m sorry to be blunt but if you were my daughter I would not want this future for you.
I think in your heart of hearts you know being with him is a bad idea.
The fact you’re checking his phone proves you already don’t trust him.
That’s only my opinion, of course the choice is yours .
I’ve read too many stories here with people who have partners who choose addiction over them.
I guess you need to choose what your heart tells you or your head.
I wish you all the best,
Lx
Thanks for your reply Deb, it means a lot. It’s good to talk to others that know how you feel
How lovely, a granddaughter, I think it will be a while before I’m a granny! I’m old enough! Lol
Yes, my son missed the social interaction. He thinks he’s got the alcohol under control but he’s only kidding himself, he has no off switch unfortunately.
At least he’s being civil, we’ve had to buy food and cigs for the last few weeks. He spent he’s wages on the last drinkathon. So annoying, he never pays it back, he totally grudges it. He thinks that is us supporting him, cos we’re his parents, even though he’s really well paid. I guess we’re still enabling him .
Never mind, could be worse I guess.
Enjoy the rest of the weekend.
Thanks once again for your support.
Take care ❤
Lx
Hi Salboo, welcome to the forum, everyone here has a loved one who has addictions and also some people in recovery offering support and advice too.
I’m sorry to read your story, such a difficult thing to go through on your own. Sometimes you have to break away from a situation for self preservation. You need to do this, or your mental and physical health will suffer.
Yes, it’s difficult to speak to others about it, you feel embarrassed or that you’re being judged for not supporting well enough. My son has alcohol and cocaine addictions and I usually post on the Theresa thread here. There are several of us mums with sons with addictions. Everyone is so understanding and supportive.
There will be others in your situation too, click onto Share your Story and scroll through.
The forum has a homepage with support and the Icarus Trust posts here too.
Please don’t feel alone, keep in touch here and speak to others, you’ll feel like a weight has been lifted off you.
Take care ❤
Lx
Hi debc
Just waited to say that I’m so pleased for you and your son. It’s good to hear positive news ????.
Such a relief when you see them turning a corner.
My son remains relapsed, unfortunately doesn’t want to follow the 12 steps or AA for the moment (hopefully that will change). He says, I’m still young and wants to feel free to have a drink should he want it. I don’t think he’s taking cocaine thankfully, but feels he’s in control of the alcohol intake. I’m not convinced this is a good thing but he’s still working and seems fairly upbeat and more interested in general. I guess things have been a lot worse in the past.
I’m in daily contact so I feel okay about things.
Have a good weekend all.
Thank you all for being there for me.
Sending hugs ❤️
Lx
Hi Dan, so pleased for you as you know, im you’re biggest fan!! ????
When you mentioned about the dreams, my son used to get ‘using ‘ dreams when he was clean, so I guess this must be common.
Keep on doin what yer doin!
Lx
Hi Debzie, welcome to the forum, we all have loved ones who have addictions and some people in recovery offering support and advice.
It’s difficult to know what to say as everyone’s situation us different.
The forum has support so do Icarus trust who post here.
I usually go onto the Theresa thread click on ‘share your Story ‘. There are several of us mums with sons who have addictions, everyone is a great support to each other.
I think you need to give him guidelines about what’s acceptable and what’s not, and that you won’t be paying off any more debt. Although it’s easier said than done.
Please don’t feel alone, and please look after yourself and the rest of family.
Keep in touch on here too.
My son is 28yrs and is addicted to cocaine and alcohol. Hes had periods where he’s been clean, but then relapses unfortunately, but this is normal I’m told.
Always here to chat
Lx
Mrs B , I noticed the Icarus trust replied to your post, perhaps they can help and support you through this difficult time?
I think I would contact them if it was me, I think they have counselling services.
Every situation is different, I suppose. I know I’m probably enabling my son atm, he has no money until payday Friday. But I’ve been keeping him going on food and tobacco. He lives i his own flat thankfully, so whatever he does, its not under our noses like before which was a nightmare.
I feel that, as long as he’s eating, he’s able to work, to earn. At least we’re in contact so I’m happy to do it, but I always get a knot in my stomach when I see he’s phoning me. I guess that feeling never goes until they’re 100 clean for a while.
My husband doesn’t get too involved any more, he’s worried for his mental and physical health. So its pretty much down to me.
I just hope and pray that he can turn a corner like before.
Take care of yourself first and foremost.
Lx
Oh dear, I guess the serenity prayer doesn’t always work for everyone !
Yes, so frustrating, he did it through AA and CA, personally I think it’s the only thing that’s worked.
He has met some good people through it though. He says he doesn’t want to do the Big book yet again. Pity.
Let’s hope and pray for a good week, thinking of you all here.
Lx
Hi ladies, i just wondered if you read Danman83’s stories. He recently posted he’s 4 months clean from alcohol and cocaine.
He has always given advice from a different prospective which is good. It helped me to understand my son better, it also gives me hope that my son can get back on track and turn his life around.
My son also partied hard as a teen, from 14, I believe . He told me recently that it made him more confident. But then it spiralled out of control, he started gambling a lot, more partying. He finally stopped the gambling, drinking more, leading to cocaine. Such a waste, all his hard earned cash down the pan or up his nose.
Thankfully he’s still employed, a functioning addict, no cocaine though I’m told.
I pray he sees the light, he’s managed almost 6 months clean until a few weeks ago he relapsed.
Sad but we just have to deal with it.
The addiction prayer begins…
“Please God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.”.etc Google it.
It pretty much works for the loved ones of addicts too.
Sending hugs
Lx
Congratulations ???? Dan!
I’m so pleased for you – 4 months – that’s fantastic, you should be very, very proud of yourself.
I admire you and the way you are helping others here on this forum. I’m sure the others who have chatted to you , will agree when I say you have been great support to all – whether as a person with addictions or family of one who has addiction.
Virtual handshakes and hugs to you ????
Keep on doin what your doing
Lx