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Welcome to the thread MrsB
We’re all in the same boat here and sad to read you’re going through the same.
At least we have each other here.
Lx
Hi 68862,
Absolutely, im hoping you ladies inspire me, you already do, you’re all so strong.
We’ll always have good days and bad days but we all have each other here. I’ve said it before…something positive out if something negative.
Yes, here’s to a good week, and lockdown here is relaxing. Thank the Lord!
Sending hugs
Lx
Wow, Utah USA. I forget that people here are posting from all over the world. Sounds idyllic, im glad you had that time and the rest of the family are supportive.
Yes, I was usually the good natured upbeat jokey one but not lately. Trying to put on a brave face fir my family, and work aren’t aware so it’s a good distraction there. Yep, I agree, its hard to switch off from worrying about them isn’t it?
At least your battery has been charged for the week ahead!
Sending hugs across the miles
Lx
Hi 68862
Hope you had a lovely day with your family. A little grandchild soon, that’s great news.
I think it will be a while before I’m a granny lol. I’m certainly old enough but I guess circumstances prevent it for the moment and my daughter is still at uni.
Hope you’re all enjoying the lovely sunny weekend.
Take care all.
Lx
Gives US hope….
Gives US hope….
Hi Debc, I’m so pleased for you and your son. That’s great news , as others have said, it gives up hope for our boys. I guess there will always be positive and negative news on this thread.
It’s so good to hear positive news.
My son is in a slightly better place than before, in that he’s seeking support and seems to be interested in work again. I’m also thankful that he is managing to hold down his job. He needs to take up an interest or hobby like your son, as he’s still moping about a bit. Time to take care of you now.
Lx
Hi ladies, I’ve been catching up with your posts.
Jem – I’m so pleased for you, you spent some quality time with your son. I truly hope you have more moments like that.
February Marie- I’m glad you have joined this thread, a problem shared ..etc sorry to hear about your son in hospital. I thought my son was going to have to go last week for a detox too. The doctor wouldn’t help him at all. He seems to have come through it without medical intervention thankfully.
Bump – i hope you are keeping better knowing your son is safe.
God bless you all, thinking of everyone here.
Sending hugs
Lx
Hi Kathlou, welcome to the forum, so many people here with loved ones who have addictions.
I usually post about my son who has alcohol and cocaine addictions.
Your story resonates with me, as I had an elderly relative who lived alone who we cared for and I noticed same problems as you with your dad.
She was also getting forgetful and kept repeating herself. I took her to doc who referred her for brain ct scan. It was vascular dementia.
I noticed she was sleeping late, house in darkness, withdrawing from us a bit, personal hygiene, just sat in front of TV all day.
That’s when I realised she was drinking large amounts of gin ‘to help her sleep ‘ but it became an out of control habit.
Went to doc again said detox required or she would shorten her life as she was getting through 1-3 litres a week drinking it almost undiluted!
She got detox at home over a few weeks with another relative staying with her.
We got power of attorney when dementia was diagnosed, so she couldn’t protest much thankfully.
I attended all medical appointments with her so that I could paint a true picture of what was really happening.
She stopped drinking after that, but her physical health was affected and lost confidence going out after a few falls.
It’s difficult as they can be stubborn but when they have dementia they don’t realise the severity of addiction.
I know adfam homepage offer advice and support also Icarus trust posts here too.
I wish you all the best and hope you both get the support you need.
Lx
Hi MrsB
Welcome to the forum, everyone here has a loved one with an addiction. No need to feel that you’re on your own.
I also watched that film, so sad and touching, I felt the Dad’s pain and frustration.
What a cycle they go through, i know my son’s better than he does. He is 28yrs and has alcohol and cocaine addictions. I understand the rollercoaster of emotions, the anger, the aggression, the debt, clearing the debt, calls at stupid o’clock , always needing or demanding something , the selfishness.
The forum have support on the home page and the Icarus trust posts here too. I usually post on the Theresa thread, just click on to ‘share your story ‘ or join the recent post. We’re all mums of sons with addictions, supporting and sharing advice with each other. Its a relief to vent with someone who knows, as most times we can’t talk to our families or friends about it.
Yes, it hurts like a knife to see them so downtrodden and low, but at the end of the day, they themselves have to make the choice to change their lifestyle.
My so was clean for almost 6months until recently, he did it through AA and CA groups. It was wonderful to have my son back fir that time. Unfortunately he relapsed again, back on the vicious cycle of addiction.
We know we can do no more, we have to take care of ourselves and other family. Otherwise our own mental health and physical health will suffer.
Try and enjoy the sunny days, practice some mindfulness or 5 min meditation.
I hope you find your peace soon, have hope and faith for his future.
Thinking and praying for you
Lx
Hi February Marie,
Good to hear from you and thank you for your kind words of support.
I remember reading your earlier posts, I think you were one of the first people to reply to me when I joined the forum.
So it’s past midnight and I can’t sleep, busy mnd I guess. You hit the nail on the head when you said about grieving for the son he used to be. I do that too, I guess we all do. Dreaming of the Eureka moment they will have one day! Please God if only…
I’m so thankful for this thread and you wonderful ladies, I agree February Marie, so strong overcoming difficulties, and unselfish to be thinking of others when they are stressed and anxious . God bless you ❤
Sending virtual hugs
Lx
God bless you all, thank you for your replies.
He came to my house starving, but after he was fed and watered he seemed calmer. He said he needs help, but no one’s helping.
I guess I must’ve been a mirage!
I don’t think he’s started on the merry go round yet, please God, I’ve just reassured him we’ll support him with food and cigs til payday. Paying it back hopefully.
If he’s really trying, I don’t mind making the effort.
Thank you so much ladies, Bump I hope your lad perseveres.
Yes, 68862, we are always in the firing line!
I couldn’t scream earlier Deb, as we have a painter in! ; )
Sending hugs
Lx
God bless you all, thank you for your replies.
He came to my house starving, but after he was fed and watered he seemed calmer. He said he needs help, but no one’s helping.
I guess I must’ve been a mirage!
I don’t think he’s started on the merry go round yet, please God, I’ve just reassured him we’ll support him with food and cigs til payday. Paying it back hopefully.
If he’s really trying, I don’t mind making the effort.
Thank you so much ladies, Bump I hope your lad perseveres.
Yes, 68862, we are always in the firing line!
I couldn’t scream earlier Deb, as we have a painter in! ; )
Sending hugs
Lx
Hi all,
I just need to vent again, sorry.
Just came off phone with son. I feel he’s looking for people to blame right now, his family, the doctor, AA . I feel he’s free of alcohol just now but looking for an excuse to start again.
I think that’s what an addict does, won’t take the blame etc.
Hes very angry and I think he’s taken this week off work and he’ll use it to get wasted on alcohol, although he has no money but will probably take out a loan.
I know this set up so well, im trying to be calm but inside I want to scream.
Lx
Hi ladies, thanks so much for your kind words of support.
Bump – I’m so pleased to hear that your son is in a place where he is being supported and getting the help he needs. Driving test theory, that’s fantastic news that he pushing himself. Wonderful news, you must be so relieved. I hope your long covid is improving, I went back to work last week part time, tiring but managed to sit down when I needed to.
68862 – I also work in a Secondary school, so many with anxieties and mental health issues. But not enough support for them.
I believe in some of the Scottish manifesto they are going to invest in MH issues involving training and counselling. Boris take note!
My hubby is speaking to the practice on Monday so hopefully we may get a 2nd opinion regarding my son’s support. And no, Jem Doctor has never referred him anywhere at anytime, he was told he had to be clean before being assessed for counselling of any sort! Talk about Catch 22 situation! What hope do we have !
Enjoy the weekend ladies
Thank you again, sending hugs ❤
Lx