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Hi February Marie, so sorry to read this. If it’s any consolation, my son had several relapses, one after 4months and another after 6 months.
I really feel for you, as you just feel that everyone is back on track with their lives and it’s back to stage one. It IS a blip- it’s so hard for them , every day is a battle.
He has to be so strong, and I guess we have to be strong fir them too, no matter how tough the situation is.
Have you read Kulstars story- I was emotional when I read it, he’s in recovery atm. Offers great advice and support.
Thinking and praying for us all always ????
Stay strong, have faith February Marie
Lx ❤️
Hi Dogslife, thank you for sharing your story with us here. Its a good place to come and share your concerns and worries and support each other.
You will see that you’re not alone when you read the other posts. I wondered if you had read the Theresa thread- under the Share Your Story blue heading. We’re all mums with sons with addictions and everyone is so understanding and supportive.
Our sons are all at different stages their addiction and recovery. Most of our sons started in their teens and got deeper into addiction .
Drugfam and Icarus trust offer counselling services I believe too.
Please stay strong -confide in close friends find time for yourself
You are not to blame for this nor did you cause it. It’s down to the addict themselves to seek help.
Read Danman83 and Jamesb and Kulstar stories they are people in recovery offering support and advice too.
My 29yr son is 13mths into his recovery through seeking help from CA and AA groups. I hope this will give you some hope that he can turn his life around ????.
Sending love and prayers
Lx ❤️
Hi Pandabear, welcome to the forum, spill as much or as little as you want, it’s anonymous.
We’re all here to support each other.
Lx
Hi Dragonfly, thank you for sharing your story here.
It’s so very hard to get into the mind of an addict. Whether it is drugs alcohol or some form of substance abuse it is so very hard for us to deal with our loved ones who are at the mercy of the cruelness that addiction causes.
Everyone here will understand the torment and turmoil addiction causes in a relationship.
You are right though – you must let the addict seek support on his own terms- when he’s ready.
I’m the mum of a 29yr son who has alcohol and cocaine addictions. I know the pain and distress caused by addiction it affects the addict their loved ones, their career health everything. But they need to open their eyes and recognise they need help.
I wanted to offer you some hope, my son was about to lose everything about 2 years ago.
He reached out for support – joined AA and CA groups and attends regular meetings. He had a few relapses o the way, this is normal. To date he is 13 months free from alcohol and cocaine.
He is helping others now too. It’s been tough but it can be done.
Read Danman83 and Jamesb posts they are guys who are in early recovery too offering support and advice.
Definitely look after yourself, you’re not to blame for any of this. The addict knows they are at fault but will always blame others for their demise.
Please stay strong, have faith (I pray a lot!,) and look after your own health and well-being. Be ready to support him when he’s ready.
Sending hugs and prayers
Lx ❤️
Have faith Janet, he could still turn his life around yet!
That’s why I still post even though my son is in recovery, it’s good to have hope and you’ll get strength from reading other threads.
Everyone is so kind and understanding- they were here for me when I couldn’t talk to anyone else for fear of being judged.
During his sober moments let him know you love him, and you will be ready to support him when he seeks help. Keep yourself busy in the meantime or practice mindfulness.
Stay strong
Lx ❤️
Hi Janet, welcome to the forum. Thank you for sharing your story with us here.
All of us here are only too familiar with what you’re going through with your partner.
It’s a horrible illness to watch the person you love have an addiction that takes over their (and your) life.
Of course they will make you feel bad when you question their behaviour. They know it’s wrong so they turn the guilt to us.
You just want a normal life, alcohol/drug free.
I have to say though it really HAS to be their decision to seek support from AA groups.
No one can make them go unfortunately.
My 29yr son has alcohol and cocaine addictions, he’s thankfully one year clean thanks to these groups.
Please look after yourself in the meantime Janet confide in someone close if you can.
Read the other stories here -you will realise that you’re not alone.
Take care ❤️
Lx
Hi 68862
I noticed your post and felt I had to reply to you. We spoke many times on the Theresa thread- which is still active.
I’m so sorry to hear that your son’s addiction hasn’t improved. So hard as you say watching them press that self-destruct button.
It’s also physically and mentally draining for the families who are caught up in the nightmare of addiction.
Please try and look after yourself and others in the family. We all know that a person with addiction has to be the one to seek support. Unfortunately no one can make them go.
Drugfam Adfam and Icarus trust offer counselling and advice I believe, perhaps they can help you too.
Stay strong and take care of yourself 68862.
Post here let us know how you’re doing.
Sending hugs of support ❤️
Lx
Hi Bernice , thank you for sharing your story. I’m the mum of a recovering addict, so I know how tough it is for you .
I wondered if had read the heading
” drugs and alcohol and Mental Health ”
There’s a post Day 18…by Dadict, it’s all people I’m a similar situation to yourself, offering each other support and advice as they have addiction to prescription drugs.
It’s good that you’ve recognised that this addiction is interfering with your quality of life.
Good luck with your recovery Bernice.
Lx
Hi constantly worried, welcome to the forum. Thank you for sharing your story here. I’m sorry to hear that your son’s addiction is affecting your family life.
My 29yr son has been addicted to alcohol and cocaine for 14yrs. I understand the pressure and anxiety that goes with addiction.
Thankfully he reached out for help 2 yrs ago. With the help of AA and CA groups he is currently over a year clean.
Unfortunately you can’t make an addict go to docs, and AA
/CA meetings, it HAS to be their own decision to go.
If you scroll up a bit read the Theresa thread, we are all mums with sons with addictions who are all at different stages in their addiction/recovery.
The mums are so supportive and understanding, there’s no need to feel alone in the nightmare of addiction.
In the meantime, please take time to look after yourself.
Stay strong have faith, miracles do happen.
Drugfam, Icarus trust and Adfam offer support and advice for families too.
Take care ❤️
Lx
Hi Jellybean, welcome to the forum. Thank you for sharing your story and recognising that this addiction is slowly taking over your life.
I wondered if I could direct you to the other blue highlighted heading-
Drugs, alcohol and Mental Health.
There’s a thread saying “Day 18..
By Dadict. Its quite a long thread but it is mostly people like yourself, trying to stop these addictive type drugs- and the group there all support each other
Congratulations on day 3 , that’s brilliant.
I wish you well Jellybean, addiction is a terrible illness. My son has alcohol and cocaine addictions, thankfully over 1 yr clean thanks to sheer willpower, and AA and CA groups.
Lx
Hi Jem
That’s great news -definitely a step in the right direction.
So pleased our lads are finding the strength to beat addiction, and strive to improve their lifestyle. Its not easy and every day is a battle.
Time for you hopefully.
Lx
Hi Lou
Thank you for your lovely, inspirational and positive post! So pleased that your son is doing so well- such a relief for you. Congratulations on the baby news!
Everything you said reflects everyone here.
My son is also 13/14 months into his recovery. I can’t tell you what a relief it is. I also feel that ‘deep rooted fear’ like I’m always looking over my shoulder. He still has anxiety and stress to a point, but he has strategies and support from his CA groups and meetings.
But I agree we have to concentrate on other members of our family and ourselves.
Joanie- so pleased your son is still doing well. I’ll keep you in my prayers as I do everyone here.
Kate- always in my thoughts ❤️
Have a good weekend all
Lx ❤️
Hi m82,
Firstly, I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. I can’t imagine what you’re going through, and to have to deal with your daughter’s addiction too.
Is there a family member or a close friend you can confide in?
I think Drugfam and Icarus trust offer counselling services and Adfam homepage too.
My 29yr son has alcohol and cocaine addictions so I have an idea what you’re going through.
He currently 1yr clean thankfully, every day is a battle, but the AA and CA groups are so supportive.
Please look after yourself, read some of the posts on the Theresa thread, all mums with loved ones with addictions (mostly sons)
Take care, look after yourself ❤️
Lx
Hi sjc5
Welcome to the forum, thank you for sharing your friend’s story.
Living with a loved one with an addiction is a Living nightmare.
It’s good that she has a friend like you who is so supportive.
I have a 29yr son who has alcohol and cocaine addictions since he was 15. Thankfully he’s currently 1yr into his recovery. So I have some experience of what addiction can do to a family.
Can I suggest that you click on to “share your story ” and read the Theresa thread. There are several mums on there offering support and advice. Also, the adfam homepage, Drugfam and Icarus trust also offer counselling and support for families.
Please stay strong for her, and she has to look out for herself and her other child. He needs to know that he’s still loved, but needs boundaries if he’s to live at home.
Take care, ❤️
Lx
Thank you Bump, so good to hear from you! I’m so pleased that you’re son is still in recovery and working, that’s wonderful news.
I’m sure he’ll come round, lads take a wee while to mature at the best of times!
You sound like you’re in a happier place, with your health too and getting a holiday would have done you the world of good!
I understand what you mean about the negative effect that’s been left on the family. It’s almost like ptsd , looking over your shoulder, waiting for whatever to happen.
Trying to push the bad memories away..
Shame on those Snooty mums!! They don’t know the half of it – Bump, you can hold your head high- woman, you are one of the strongest people I know, along with the other great mums here.
I’m proud to have you ladies in my life.
Keep strong, sending much love ❤️ Lx