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Hi oldbird(I’m sure you’re not)
What a relief for you, but at the same time such a difficult decision to make. I really feel for you.
I hope and pray that your son gets the support and help that he needs. I’ve read quite a few success stories on here , so it can be done.
I totally understand, we do our best but I guess we enable them and its never-ending.
My son has alcohol and cocaine addictions, currently doing well thankfully but I know how quickly things can spiral out of control!
Time to take care of you now.
Sending hugs
Lx
Hi dragonfly
Welcome to the forum, Everyone here has or is concerned about their loved ones habits or addiction.
Do you think his drinking is getting worse? Is he drinking more than before?
I’m no expert but if he’s relying on it daily and its enough to bother you, he may have an issue or a reliance on alcohol.
The adfam homepage offer advice and support. It might be better to nip this in the bud before it escalates, especially if he’s being mean to you as a result.
Why does he feel he needs to drink daily, do you think? Is he unhappy, or has something happened, work?
My son has alcohol and cocaine addictions, it was a lot worse when he was in his other job, maybe pressure?
He currently almost 90 days clean, working through the 12 steps through AA , doing daily online meetings. It’s wonderful to see him looking so well and so positive. Its a living nightmare living with someone with addiction.
Nothing will improve until he admit s he has a problem and needs help.
Maybe speak to him when he’s in a good, alcohol free mood.
Take care of yourself too.
Lx
Libertine, well done, you should be very proud of yourself! And to be so strong during the festive period!
My son is now 80plus days clean, it’s been hard for him too, but like you he’s fighting it. He’s doing meetings every day and keeping busy, doing stuff around his flat.
The AA fellowship have been brilliant and now he’s actually supporting people in similar situations.
Keep up the great work ????
Love to all
Lx
I can tell you are a thoughtful and caring girlfriend, the booze and drugs camouflage their true personality and emotions.
I’m sure he cares for you but can’t think clearly because of the alcohol messing with his head.
Read the other threads too there is great support from people in recovery .
Take care and stay strong ,
Lx
Hi holkat, welcome to the forum, no need for you to feel alone. Everyone on this forum has a loved one who has addictions.
It’s such a dilemma to be in…you feel you need to leave for the sake of your own mental health, but would feel you would be abandoning him in his hour of need.
I’m in a different situation in that, it’s my 28yr old son who has alcohol and cocaine addictions. It’s a very stressful situation to be in. The ever changing moods, never having any money, us picking up the pieces and the debt constantly.
It sounds like he was definitely unhappy at his work, that doesn’t help, also losing a parent at such a young age. Poor man, he’s probably suffering from depression and low self esteem. He needs to admit he has a problem unfortunately , only then will he seek help. The AA fellowship are great, so supportive. My son is currently working through the 12 steps with them and is 80odd days clean.
He says it’s the only thing that works for him.
When your bf is ready, you can be there to support him , they need to know that they’re still loved despite their illness.
The adfam homepage offers support as does the Icarus trust, maybe a doctor could help if he has mental health issues.
Sending best wishes to you
Lx
Hi Bump, good to hear from you.
I guess out of a negative situation you got a positive one, in that, you spent some quality time with your son at Xmas. I hope and pray that he turns his life around this new year. I’m glad you are trying to concentrate on your own health and well-being although I know sometimes it’s hard to switch off.
Jem- I hope your mum is feeling better, I guess you just have to prioritise needs.
Again I hope and pray that your son will see the light and change his ways. I’ve read a few success stories over the last week or so, it definitely can be done.
Hope you’re taking care of yourself too. My son is still doing fine atm but I don’t ever get too complacent.
Take care , sending you hugs.
Lxx
Hi lolarose
Sad but beautiful, take care of yourself, your mum is still in there somewhere.
Love the addict, but hate the behavior.
Take care of yourself.
Lxx
Hi lostgirl, welcome to the forum.
Everyone on here has a loved one with an addiction and there’s also people in recovery giving advice and support.
Your bf hasn’t ended the relationship lightly. It’s good he needs to concentrate on himself at this stage to get well. My son also has alcohol and cocaine addictions. The alcohol triggers the need for cocaine and so he has to abstain completely.
He was told by his AA fellowship that he has to love himself first before he can love another.
My son also has no off switch with alcohol or drugs. He has an addictive personality I think.
We enabled my son originally, by paying his drug debts, but when he was serious about stopping, we bought his food, cigs etc.
My son is currently 70 days clean, I’m so proud of him, its been really hard for him to fight the demons in his head.
Read the other threads, adfam and Icarus trust have advice and support.
If your relationship is meant to be..im certain he will come back to you, you just need to be patient and he needs to know that despite his issues, you still care about him.
I hope this helps, im so glad he’s seeking support.
Always here to chat
Lx
Happy New Year to all my sisterhood here on the forum.
I’m so thankful we have each other to share our ups and downs ????
I hope and pray that 2021 will be a happy and healthy year for us and our sons.
Thank you all for your support and God bless you and your families.
Sending hugs across the miles.
Lxx
I’m so pleased for you too Kk, it’s such a relief isn’t it, you can see a Ray of light now.
I hope and pray it continues for everyone on this forum.
Take care ❤
Lx
Hi all
Fantastic news, well done Dot!!
The festive period is always going to be a difficult time for people in recovery.
My son is also still clean 70 days..I thank God, what a difference it’s making to his life and ours. He’s doing his daily online meetings, working through the “steps”. I’m so grateful to the guys in the fellowship who’s supporting him.
I’m also grateful for the help and support here, so many helpful and kind people.
Wishing you all a Happy and Healthy New Year.
Stay strong ????
Lxx
Hi all, I’ve been reading your thread and its been great to read the success stories.
It shows other families, that with hope, love and determination a person with addictions can fight this evil that destroys lives and devastates families .
My son is also a recovering addict, 70 days clean, i know it’s tough for them, but as long as he’s trying, we’ll support him. I could totally relate to everything you’ve been through as a parent.
Thanks for your post.
Lx
I do remember your story TY85, I responded to your story. I’m so sorry I only wish there was more advice or support for you and your son.
Lx
Ty85, I’m not aware of your story but I want to tell you how sorry I am to hear of the loss of your son.
I can’t imagine what you’re going through just now. I can only hope you have family and friends comforting you.
Your story is every parent’s nightmare, my son has alcohol and cocaine addictions. You can only do your best for them, unfortunately alcohol and drugs can consume their lives if they don’t seek help.
You are in my thoughts and prayers and hope you get the right support to help you through this difficult time.
Take care
Lx
Hi Gypsydoll,
Welcome to the forum, Everyone here has a loved one with addictions or alcohol/drug abuse.
I’m so sorry to read your story. This man should NOT be treating you like this. You do not deserve this.
In my opinion he IS an addict if he needs 8 cans and cocaine daily.
I’m no expert but taking all this daily will definitely mess with his head. He won’t be thinking or acting clearly while he’s doing this, also the comedown from it also messes with their emotions.
My son is 28 and has alcohol and cocaine addictions, we’ve had to deal with the aggression and lies, debt for years. They will always blame us for it.
The truth is, only they can stop it, admit they need help. Start AA and CA online meetings, get support from others, get a sponsor, do the 12 steps. My son says its the only thing that works for him.
He is currently 60odd days clean, it’s really really hard for him, but as long as he’s trying, we will support him.
I think you should tell someone close to you, it’s hard to deal with on your own. Also, you need to stay safe, away from him, look after yourself.
Check the Homepage here for advice or the Icarus trust, they can help you too. Please don’t feel alone in this nightmare.
Read the other stories, you will realise you won’t feel alone any more.
Thinking and praying for you.
Lx