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Hi Jenny,
Sorry to hear about your son getting into bother but it’s good to hear you’re getting on better with him.
I think of you all often and wondered how everyone is doing.
I’m so glad we’re all here for each other. Of course none of this is our fault, it’s all down to choices.
I pray that they all get the strength to get better and fight these addictions.
Night night
Sending hugs to you all
Lx
DL5, I understand what you mean. He’s a young man out with the lads, but he needs to know when to switch off.
As I said before, and the recovering addicts here will tell you, the alcohol is the trigger.
Since my son admitted he took cocaine and had an alcohol problem , we never ever drank in front of him.
Everyone is different , but only some will get addiction and thats a nightmare.
Read the other threads too it may help you more.
Lx
Hi DL5,
Welcome to the forum. Everyone here has a loved one with addiction. We have all been through the emotional rollercoaster drink and drugs cause. I think it’s early days yet fir your son…nip it in the bud before it becomes a real bad problem.
My son is almost 28 and been drinking (we knew about) taking cocaine (we didn’t know about)
It came to a head just over a year ago. We suspected as much, he got into large amounts of debt from dealers, looked unkempt, flat too. Lost interest in most things, bad attitude, aggressive etc
He has an addictive personality, does everything 100%. A person like that has to abstain completely from alcohol as it triggers the need for cocaine or whatever.
He told me that himself, he reached out to us admitted he needed help.
Since then he attends aa and ca online meetings daily, works through a 12 step program and has a sponsor. Clean 5 weeks, but its really tough for him. Every day is a battle with addiction, so too for the family, sad to say.
Support him as best you can , before that evil drug gets a hold on him.
Read Share your story- Theresa thread, 6 or 7 mums all with sons with addictions.
No need to feel alone.
Always here to chat
Lx
Please don’t give up hope Bump !
Have faith, I think and pray for us and our boys daily.
Things can turn around so quickly with a person with addictions as you know for the good, but unfortunately for the bad. I don’t get too complacent these days.
But I am hopeful for a better future for us all.
Always hear for you.
Lx
Hi Bump, I’m so sorry to hear about your situation. I feel sad for you and the family.
Does your son not attend some form of counselling where he is?
Have you spoken to the Icarus trust – maybe they can offer some advice and support?
Please take care of yourself , you need to keep strong through this.
Lock down is compounding things isn’t it – usually you could go and meet up with friends and switch off. Try to find an alternative as you definitely need some me time!
My son is 5 weeks clean- we have his bank card. He has daily meetings, contacts his sponsor and we see him daily. He gets bored though, young guy, can’t see his regular friends or start a new relationship through covid. I feel bad for him, but proud that he’s remained strong so far.
Keep your chin up sister, sending you big hugs ❤
Lx
Hi Middle-aged girl welcome to the forum. I’m sorry I didn’t reply earlier as I thought maybe a person in recovery would give you better advice.
I’m a mum like you, my son is 27 and has alcohol and cocaine addictions. When he reached out for help, he went to doctor for help first.
If its any help, I had an elderly relative who got all the detox stuff prescribed by hospital, but completed it at home with a close relative living there and helping and recording the doses etc. It took about 3 weeks I think.
Every case is different I guess though. At least she has you to help her, it’s difficult and an emotional rollercoaster, but it’s a means to an end.
Take care of yourself through this, you need to be strong.
Always here to chat,
Lx
Hi Tiredmam, welcome to the forum. I’ve read your thread, and want you to know you are not alone.
Everyone here has a loved one with drug or alcohol addiction. There are also people in recovery offering support and advice.
If you click on ‘share your story ‘ and read the Theresa thread, there are several mums , myself included, all with sons with addictions.
We are all here for each other and offering support or advice, even just to vent!
The forum homepage has support also the Icarus trust offers help and advice.
There is no need to feel alone in this. Try and look after yourself, find pleasure in the little things.
Take care and be strong.
Lx
Thanks for that Dot, I’ll keep that in mind about stocking up on healthy stuff.
Re sex drive…it’s my son who has the addiction not hubby thankfully!
I’ll keep that info to myself ????
Yes, looking forward to full recovery.
Thanks again Lx
Hi Boss
I’ve been reading your thread, I’m so sorry to read your situation because of his addiction.
So many of us mums writing on the forum worried about the heartache and emotional difficulties caused by their sons (mostly sons). Click on share your story and read Theresa thread . We’re all pretty much in the same boat. The good thing is that we all understand each other and give support and advice where needed.
You will realise that you are not alone and that people care.
Your son is lashing out because of the effects of drugs and drink . Everyone else is to blame, they reckon, it is totally not our fault!
Only they can stop this, to admit they have a problem and seek help and support.
I agree, cutting off will be difficult. Might be the means to an end, but what choice do you have at this stage?
It’s not that you don’t like him, it’s the choices he’s making you don’t like, as we love our children unconditionally. Don’t be too hard on yourself, it will get better, find time for yourself when you can.
Read the other threads, there are people in recovery offering support and advice too, some good success stories.
Don’t give up hope, be strong.
Lx
Thanks Dot,
Yeah, hes eating us outta house and home just now, which is good though. He was told at his meetings to avoid feeling hungry, he gets hangry! But I guess it’s part of withdrawal.
Thanks for your encouraging words, keep strong guys,
Lx
Thank you Kk, we wouldn’t be on this forum if we didn’t care right?
Lots of prayer too – got a black belt in it now!
Take care
Lx
Fortunately he has a job, which he’s good at working from home, which suits him atm. That keeps him busy Monday to Friday. In evenings its daily online meetings, occasional face to face.
Starts the day meditation, we have bank card so no temptation at weekends.
I’m so proud of him I know it’s hard, we have daily contact as he lives alone.
He’s gotta keep busy, though, diy, painting etc. No counselling, only support from his groups.
Lx
Hi Guys
Just noticed your thread, great to hear such good news and positivity.
Dot: you should be so proud of yourself, your family too.
Kk: Great news about your husband, such a relief for you all.
The future looks good for you all.
My son is 30days clean so far, fingers and toes crossed.
Lx
Hi Helen and welcome to the forum. You’ll find a lot of people on here who’s loved ones have addictions and are on desperate situation.
Please don’t feel alone in this or blame yourself. Hes an adult who is making these choices, you are the one left to pick up the pieces, like so many of us here.
Click on ‘share your story ‘ and read the Theresa thread. There’s
About 6 of us mums all in similar situations. They are all lovely ladies who offer positive and wonderful support.
My son is 27 and has alcohol and cocaine addictions. Its been going on for 10yrs. He finally reached out to us last year.
Until they, themselves admit they have a problem and want help, anything you say or do will be pointless.
Don’t give him cash or pay off debts. I buy groceries and cigs if I have to.
Look after yourself first and foremost, take time for you, it’s important.
Always here to chat
Be strong,
Lx
You’re welcome
Sending you hugs
Lx